Fifty shades of lust and love
by DoctorLady
Summary: AU/OOC Rose's leaving and CG is in need of a new right hand.Enters Ana,beautiful, strong, qualified for the job. They met and of course sparks fly, then fury follows.He's arrogant, rude, a complete asshole, a sexy asshole. she's defiant, stubborn and everything a sub isn't!Follow a journey where a two equally fucked-ups colloid, causing both to question their ways!my summary sucks
1. Chapter 1

**So, I had this idea and braced my porny self that I am actually gonna write a FSOG fanfiction! Hope you like it ;) we will be swinging between Ana and Christian POV. My Anna may come a little stronger than Anna in the books. A little more badass ;)**

**CPOV:**

No. Fucking. Way.

I repeat the mantra over and over in my bounding head as I sit across from Ros, my right hand woman. She is ranting but all I can hear is one thing.

"…so I figured that I can't work here anymore.."

She is leaving! She is fucking leaving the ship after five years of being the rock of the company I built with blood and sweet. How can she let go so easily? This company is almost as much of her baby as it is mine. _Well, you don't always make her feel that way, do you, Grey?_

I didn't have to fucking say it!

I hear how she is taking about the new business she is planning to start on her own. And any normal fucker should be happy for his not only co-worker but the closest thing I have ever had to a friend. But I am far from normal. I am a selfish son of a bitch and I want her to stay, here. I close my eyes and start counting to calm my nerves. Going bat shit crazy on her now will do me no good. It will probably drive her away further. She must have sensed me tipping over the edge because she suddenly stops talking and let out a small sigh.

"You are not hearing, are you?"

"I can hear you perfectly well, Ms. Stinson" I open my eyes and meet hers. I see a flash of sorrow in her eyes as she recognizes the face I have just placed firmly. My impassive face is on and to top it all I am addressing her by her last name. Something I haven't done in three years. Yeah, I spent two years in last name basic with my most trusted employee. Sue me, I am a professional!

"I know you feel betrayed and probably a little hurt" I snore at that. Christian Grey doesn't get hurt! She chuckles and shakes her head. "Well, feed my ego, dickhead. I know that you will miss me" she smirks and I want to straggle her.

"Miss you?" I seethe trying hard not to snap. "You have been in that ship for five years, Rose. Five fucking years. And now you are just hopping out just like that" normally I don't ever admit that I actually _need _someone. I am that self-possessed. But Dammit, I don't need her but the company sure does!

"Do you think I will just leave you like this?! I am not that much of a bitch, Grey" she snaps and her face gets almost as red as her hair. "If you were listening to me" She takes a deep breath "You would have known that I am not leaving until one month from now"

"How generous of you! And here I thought you were leaving today!" sarcasm is the lowest point of humor, I believe. But right now, I am fucking serious and no one is joking.

"…through that month" she goes on ignoring my smart-ass comment. "I will be able to provide you will the prefect replacement"

"And how exactly do you plan on doing that?" I narrow my eyes at her.

"I have already started interviewing potentials. In two days dead, I will have two best choices whom I will train and mentor for four weeks. After that I will be choosing just one of them as a replacement and I am sure whoever that will be perfectly up for the task"

I rub my temple and try to hear what she is saying. It makes sense, of course. Rose is a reasonable woman. I take a good look at her. She has been looking like shit for two months but now she looks like the Rose I know. After a nasty divorce resulting in Rose getting her heart shattered by her ex-wife, Gwen. Whoever said that lesbians' marriages work because women understand each other, hasn't met Gwen. Let's just say I am glad she is out of picture. However I am pretty sure their split has a hand in Rose's decision to go on her own. She must have been questioning her life choices and all that crap. _See, that is why I don't do long relationship. They are nothing but headache and heartache. _

She needs this! She needs to go on her own and rediscover her potential. And no matter how selfish I am, I can't find it in my heart to hold her back in her time of need.

_ Since when do you have a heart, Grey?_

Well, fair say, I don't even think I _can _hold her back. Her contract ends in two weeks and she will dump my sorry ass either way, then why hold a grudge?!

"Alright" I can't believe I am doing this. "But if I am not satisfied with the replacement, Rose…"

"You will be" She cuts me off. "Seriously, Grey. When have I ever disappointed you?"

She knows the answer to that question. Never.

That is why I knew there will never be a replacement even half as good as Rose. I feel cheated. There is really a situation where I am not in total and complete control. But in this one, I have no choice, no say in the matter and it is driving me insane. Never mind the fact that I haven't had a sub in five months now and I am slowly starting to lose my center. I run my hand through my hair and groan. Fuck, Grey, get a fucking grip!

Fuck, I need to see Flynn!

**APOV:**

I press my foot harder on the accelerator and hear the engine roars. The sound reaches my ears muffed. I realize that my vision is so burly as well. Shit, I didn't know I was crying. Don't cry. _Don't fucking cry. You haven't earned the right to cry today. _I will myself to stop the waterworks but the realization that I have lost all control over my traitorous body makes me break in another sob rocking my chest. I grip the wheel harder that I feel my palms starting to hurt. If I keep on driving like this I will soon crash and end my stupid life and to be honest the thought in awfully tempting.

_Great, Steele. Congrats! You have passed the level of self-loathing and now you are actually suicide! Dad will be proud!_

Remembering Ray is like a bucket of ice water on my red hot temper. I press my foot just as hard on the brakes and the car halts to a harsh stop almost causinga not-so friendly meet-cute between my face and the wheel. Well, thank fuck for that! I take a calming breath and try searching my brain a way to smooth myself. Well yeah, I know where to go. I start the car this time actually aiming for a place.

Boom.

Boom.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

Three out of five! I am certainly out of my game today. I load the gun and make the stand, taking aim again. I aim and aim until I can't feel my hands anymore.

_You are such a fucked-up ungrateful bitch, Steele._

Boom.

_You didn't even want anything to do with guys and relationship? Now you changed your mind! You finally found someone nice and you have a good relationship with him but NO you have to be greedy, you have to have it all._

Boom. Boom.

_When have you ever deserved it?_

Boom.

The one is nailed right on the center.

"Ana" I feel someone tapping my shoulder and I jump like a ninja aiming my gun on the intruder. Shit, it is only Dean, the guy responsible for the gun-aiming department here. Relief washes over his wrinkled face once I lower my gun with a sigh. He gives me a tight smile. I am sure Dean was a gorgeous man one day. Dammit, he is even handsome now when he is in his sixties.

"Shit, Dean. You scared the crap outta me" I mutter trying to calm my racing breathe. The fact that I am on first name basic with Dean says much about how often I come to this place.

"Are you alright, darling? That session was quite intense" He smiles and I know he is fond of me. I normally enjoy flirting with him from now to then and he just laughs and tells me that a young lass should never have such a dirty mouth, I usually laugh in return and say that an old lad like himshould never have such a dirty mind. But frankly, right now, I am not in the mood.

"Just not my day" I shrug and try to give him a reassuring smile but fail miserably. I snitch the ear-covers of my head and drop the gun in the table. I wince and look at my hand. _Oh, Fuck!_

"Ana, did you forget to wear your gloves?" well, no shit, Sherlock! How can I be so stupid? How did I not feel the burning on my hands earlier? The worst part is I am still not full balanced. In fact, the shooting session hasn't calmed me one bit. "I thought I could trust you to follow the rules, Ms. Steele" Dean says in rare stern voice. Great! Now I have pissed off another person who cares about me with even realizing it.

_Why do they even bother? They shouldn't!_

Andddd the self-loathing party goes on.

Fuck, I need to see Flynn!

**Guessed it already? Yeah, they will meet at Flynn's! next chapter, soon!**

**PS: Yep, Anna has a boyfriend, more drama to come. Things won't be as easy for Christ as It was in the books, but I promise he will get his most beautiful happy ending. Buckle up!**

**Reviews are love and suggestion and oh, let's see what you've got. FSOG fandom don't disappoint me! pretty please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**OH MY! You guys are awesome! I didn't not in million years think I will get this many followers for just first chapter! I feel so welcomed, I wanna cry!**

**So I trying this thing with short and fast updates, tell me what you would prefer, I am all ears and fingers on my keyboard!**

**Here it goes, Ana's session!**

**APOV:**

"So you had a fight with Jose?"

"Yes" I answer through grinding teeth. I hate repeating myself, Dammit!

"But you can't even _remember _what the fight was about?"

I stare at the bandages on my hand. John took care of it once I entered his office. That is _of course_ after shooting me a few scolding looks. Anyways, back to his question. Doesn't it happen sometimes? You start fighting with someone and it gets dragged for hours of arguing that you forget what you were fighting about in the first place! Well, I and my boyfriend take that to a whole new level. I have myself to blame in that mess, no one but me.

"I don't think it's something he did…" I say quietly toying with the edges of the bandage on my left hand. "Or even something he said" I roll my eyes at myself. "It is just…"

"The feeling you got" John cuts me off knowing what I want to say. God, I hate it when he does that! I mean the man is gold and he practically saved my life but he can be such a pain in the ass most of the time. "Isn't it always?"

Yes, it is. But I stay silent.

"Anna, for the thousandth time, you need to be more open with Jose _If _you want this to work. You have been together for almost a year now and he knows about you not much more than the next guy" Don't I know that? "You whine about the lack of intimacy in your relationship and yet all I can see is you hiding and cowering in your little personal world whenever things get too intense for you to take"

"Yes, I want intimacy. I want it bad. I want the person I love to know me more than I have ever known myself. I want him to get me, to be able to look through my soul and dig my dirty little secrets. I want him to _own _me, all of me. I want more than I can give and it is driving me fucking insane, John" I realize I am already up and pacing the office floor. Great! That phase normally comes much later in the session.

"If that is the truth then why doesn't Jose know anything about your past?" Ah, the million dollars question!

"He won't get it" I say with a dismissing hand wave. No, Jose definitely won't get it. He has always been the golden boy, poster child, his parents' pride and joy. He doesn't know the first thing about self-loathing, disappointment, guilt. Dammit, the man doesn't even get mad for real! How many times did I subconsciously try to provoke him? still, he is always so calm and rational. He finds my anger fits so alien. John says that it is a good thing that Jose has a better temper than mine. If he had my temper, we may set each other on fire! But his calm nature unnerves me every single time. I want him mad. I want to know that I have some effect on him. That he cares.

"Anna, Jose cares about you" Damn John and his mind reading skills. "He loves you, and you know it. Just because he didn't experience the same things you did, doesn't mean he won't get it. God knows I wasn't through all my patients' drama and trauma but I still fucking get it"

Okaay! John doesn't swear. He doesn't raise his voice a tone higher than necessary. I guess repeating the same discussion over and over without a single change on my part is starting to get on his professional little nerves.

"You are a shrink" I point. "It's your job to pretend to get the fuck-upness"

"So now you are accusing me of deception?" I open my mouth to say I didn't mean it but he holds his hand trapping the words in my throat. He takes a deep breath. "Ana, are you in love with Jose?"

"Of course I love him" I snore. You don't stay with someone for that long if you don't love them!

"No, you love your friends. You love your paintings, your books and the little sculpture you hoard in your living room. That is not the kind of love I am talking about. You _know_ the kind of love I am talking about. The one you actually _crave_. Do you have that with Jose? Do you think you can ever have that at one point in your relationship?" I stare at him for a moment and then I try to answer. "Don't give me an answer now. Try and think about it for a little while, will you?" I nod and John checks his watch. "I guess our time is up" He stands up gracefully, and extends his hand. I take it.

"Always a pleasure to have you here, Ms. Steele"

"You mean a headache" I smirk.

"What can I say? Apparently, it is my job to _pretend_ to listen" He gives me a wink to let me know that there are no hard feelings. I chuckle and he escorts me to the door like the gentleman he is. I close the door and lean against it dropping my head against the hard wood. I shut my eyes tight and try to hold on the calm I find after each session. There has been no progress for me in the last few months and I definitely can not blame John for it. I am the one who doesn't want to get better. I shake my head and wonder when will I ever leave that fear behind? I wonder when will I ever actually bury that past of mine six feet under? I wonder and I wonder and I don't seem to know a thing.

"A hard one, Huh?" the soft voice of Kim. John's secretary cuts through my sinking thought making me open my eyes and glance at her.

"You have no idea" I answer and she just gives me that infamous reassuring smile of her. She is the perfect shrink's secretary. She stands up and for a moment I fear she will hug me or something but thank god she picks something from her desk's drawer. A colored bucket. And she walks toward me with a big smile on her face offering me one.

_A lollipop!_

Call me a five-year old with boobs but I love these little fuckers. I snitch one of the cherry flavors and a grin breaks through my face.

"Dr. Flynn will see you now, Mr. Grey" She turns and says it to someone sitting in the waiting area that I haven't seen since I got out. I turn to glance at that _Grey _ and I beam. How did I not see _that _earlier? I stare with the lollipop hanging half in half out from my stupid mouth. _Beautiful. _the man sitting before me with a newspaper on his lap is nothing less than beautiful. Dark copper just-fucked hair, a thick mess begging for my fingers to explore and tug and pull. A face that you see only on a status of a Greek god, and don't even get me started on his lips. But it is his eyes that captured me the most. They are the most intense shade of gray. Light and glassy but oh-so deep. I could stare at them for hours but I don't. I lower my gaze and _fuck. _Somehow I know that the dark gray suit doesn't do him justice. I have never had so much hate toward a piece of fiber. I snap my eyes back up and met his. And they are somehow a darker shade now. I feel invaded, pierced. That is more than an eye-fuck. It is like he can see right through me, and strangely I have no desire to hide from him. I shake my head and look away finally snapping from my land of fantasy. The lollipop fall from my mouth and l lick my lips involuntary. He stands up and starts walking toward me, I can see his designer shoes getting closer and I am glued to the ground. What is it? Why is he walking toward me? What does he want? What do I want? I finally remember that I am standing, more like _leaning, _against the door. He wants to enter to John_. Of course, genius! Did you think he was coming to fuck you against that door or something?! _ I shiver at the invading thought and finally push myself away from his path. With my eyes still glued to the floor, I walk past him and I think our arms brush because I feel an electric current running through my body and it takes everything on me to just _keep walking and don't look back. _I am so bad because finally when I am almost out but I sneak a glance at his ass just before he disappeared inside the door.

_He has such a fine, fine ass._

_Don't drool, you idiot._

"Anna" I snap my head to the voice of Kim feeling the kid caught with her hands elbow deep in the cookie jar. Did she see me ogling?! "Dr. Flynn expects you in two weeks max" that sobers me up from my sexual haze. The bastard is giving me a deadline! I know what he is doing. Fucker.

I hate shrinks!

**And that was Ana's session! How was it? good, bad, less informative than you wanted? I want to know your theories about Ana's past, but of course I have my own plot *Kidding* still, let's make it a game and see who comes closer to mine! Deals? **

**Next chapter we will see their brief meeting from CPOV? Excited?**

** , ****still interested? ;) thanks for the review, love.****Hettyblue**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, hello again. This update was meant for last night but I fall asleep early, ops, sorry!**

**Hettyblue: and I like your review so very much. I am super glad you saw my Ana the way I am trying to deliver ;)**

**Christian618: Close but not close enough. Ana has issues, of course. But nope, she is not a domme, although she might as well be, we will just have to wait and see.**

**Here comes the great Grey!**

**CPOV: **

I hate waiting. I am Christian fucking Grey. People wait for me, not the other way around. I tap my foot impatiently while waiting to be let into Flynn's office. It is a little childish to be impatient considering I came straight to the office without booking an appointment but again I am Christian Grey, I could buy his weekly hours all together for fuck's sake. Arrogant? Yes, but true nonetheless. Besides I don't think whoever maybe on the other end of that locked door needs a shrink as bad as I do now. A woman whose husband cheated on her? Get a divorce, dear or a make-over if needed. A man who just got fired? Gather your unqualified ass and look for another job, you wuss. Too harsh? Well, that is also true. Life doesn't stop because someone doesn't adore your sorry ass. Life moves on. And GEH will go on, with or without Rose Stinson. I have to believe that at least for now or I may go insane.

If I let myself think too much now, it won't end well and I know it. I need a distraction. Even for a few minutes. I spot the morning papers on the coffee table. Ah, that may do. I pick it up and start looking through it.

**Seattle national bank cutting ties with Henson, is it the end of Henson Records?**

I flip the page furiously.

**The corruption of Ellen Micro Devices, is it fatal?**

You have got to be fucking kidding me?! Is that some sort of a sick joke? Or is true that your fears surround you only when you actually acknowledge them? That can't be the end of GEH! It just can't! This company is a big part of my life and I can't let it go so easily.

_A big part? It is your whole life, Grey!_

Actually, it is the only thing that has gone right in my fucked up life. _This can't be happening!_

Just when I think I am about to have some sort of panic attack. The door opens _Finally. About fucking time. _I stop mid-motion as I see a gorgeous brunette leaving the office and closing the door behind her. _Those fucking legs… _I follow up with my gaze and I can't believe my fucking eyes. The goddess standing before me can't be real. She is wearing a white flowy dress that breezes her figure when she leans against the door. She has the most perfect body, supple yet feminine in all the right places. Skin pale and flawless and I bet soft as silk. And a face of a fucking angle. Her eyes are closed and she looks…tired. Her lips are puffy, checks flushed and her hair is on a dark brown messy ponytail. She looks like she has been crying, or like she just got fucked hard and good. For some reason I secretly wished for the former to be the case. My cock doesn't give a shit though; he is already up and hard. Great, just great.

"A hard one, huh?" The blond secretary says. A hard session or hard fuck? That could go both ways.

"You have no idea" It is official. Angels speak, guys. They speak English and their voice is the softest sound you will ever hear. Her voice is also a little husky which proves my theory. A fuck or a cry? Yep, she has been crying. I can almost feel the exhaustion and sorrow in her tone. Who would be so cruel? Who would cause someone like her such sadness? My eyes fly to the bandages on her tiny hands and I wonder how she got hurt. Did someone do this to her? is that why she is upset? I feel my blood boiling at the thought of someone hurting her, wait a second, where did _that _come from now?

The blond springs up and walk to her. She offers her something that washes the sadness of her face in a matter of seconds. What?! What could that be? A jewelry? An unlimited credit card? A vibrator with a remote controller? A freaking orgasm in a box? The possibilities are endless and all equally amusing. She snitches something out of the box with a wide grin on her beautiful face and I am a little distracted by the beauty of her smiley face that I don't pay attention to the thing that came out of the box until she puts it on her mouth and _suck! _I think my eyes just bounced out of my fucking head. Thank god none of them can see me now.

_A lollipop! A fucking lollipop!_

I am guy, alright? Fucked-up, yeah, sexually different lifestyle, yeah, but I am still a guy with a for the ever loving life of me I can not _not _picture these pouty rosy lips sucking me instead of that lollipop. Yeah, I am a pervert, sue me. you haven't seen the version before me.

"Dr. Flynn will see you now, Mr. Grey" I think I hear the blond saying that. Fuck! I probably have the hardest hard-on I can ever remember having! I can't get up and walk now with _that! _The words turn the brunette's attention to me and she sees me finally. I try to look away. Believe me I did. But fuck all the fuckey that has ever been fucked, I can't! She has the most hypnotizing blue eyes. Clear as a sunny day at the ocean. _Seriously, Grey? you do poetry now? _I watch her taking me in slowly. Her eyes running over me with the fucking lollipop still hanging from her lips. Normally, I feel disgusted when woman ogle me like this but now all I can think about is _ogle away, baby. _I see her blues darkening a shade or two. The calm sunny day turning to a stormy one. i wonder what she is thinking, what she thinks she can do to me. suddenly a version of me laying completely naked and tied in my playroom's bed with her standing before me and fucking me just with her eyes and I feel already close to begging her to let me come.

_Fuck, now where did that come from?_

Her eyes snap back to my face like she actually knew what I was thinking. I fix my eyes on her trying to read her as well. _who the fuck are you and what have you done to me? _ She stares at me with equally fascination and a bit of a challenge as well. What do you want, baby? Eventually she shakes her head and looks down. I feel the lose immediately. But then she licks her lips. Her now-red-as-fuck-pumpy-as-hell lips…. I have a new image of her kneeling with only lacy red-as-her-lips panties, her eyes glued to the ground, her brown silky hair falling around her beautiful face like a veil and you know these moment when you think your dick is about to cut through your pants and break free? Well I have never had the painful pleasure of having this moment but now I do. _Control, Grey. You can't fuck her now against that door, no matter how hard you want it, no matter how hard you are!_ I have never had such erotic thoughts toward a merely passing girl. If only John knew the things I'd like to do to his patient. Remembering John, I glance at the secretary and she seems in total oblivion of the X-rated thoughts running between us. I honestly forget that we aren't alone! Now she is actually making me lose my grip on reality. I close my eyes and picture the person I know will make that painful hard erection go away.

_Elliot._

Yeah, that does the trick. I finally wake up from my sexual trance and stand up ready to meet John and get this over with. I wake to her and she is still standing there. _Maybe the wall-banging fuck isn't such a bad idea after all? No, Grey, stay focused. _Her eyes are still glued to the floor and I find myself begging…ahm commanding her subconsciously to look at me. _Look at me, Dammit. _I need to see those blue eyes just one more time. _Please. _Just when I am a foot away from her she seems to remember that she is blocking my way and pushes herself of the door and walk past me. Our clothed arms brush together and fuck, there is electricity going even though all the clothing. Imagine how it will feel like if we will both bare and naked. And hot and sweaty…

_Elliot, Elliot..Elliot…_

I dare another glance at her before I enter to Flynn but I catch no more than the flowy tail of her white dress. So soft and angel-like….

_Elliot, Elliot..Elliot's ass…Elliot…_

"Christian" John's voice snaps my attention to him. "I thought you got bored and left or something. Come on in, I am all yours now"

"Who is she, Flynn?" the words leave my mouth before I think better of it. I need to know who she is. Why was she so upset? What happened to her hand? Who dared to hurt her? why was she with a shrink? Is she open to BDSM? What are her hard and soft limits? So many questions unanswered.

"Who is who?" John asks calmly but his tone suggests her know exactly what I am talking about!

"Don't play games with me, Flynn. You know who I am talking about"

"Honestly, Christian. I have no idea" Fucking Flynn.

"The brunette who just walked out of your office?" I am not seeing things, am i? have I gone crazy or something?

"If she has just got out of my office then she must be a patient of mine which means the same thing 'I have no idea who you are talking about'" Fuck, I forgot the whole patient-doctor privacy crap. "Christian, you came here with no previous reservation which means you have something urgent to talk about, am I right?" Shit, I totally forgot about Rose's drama. _What has this girl done to me? _Now that I think about it. GEH is mine. I built it. I take full credit for it. When Rose first came to me she was highly qualified, yes, but what made her Rose Stinson is working at GEH. I can make a new Rose, hell, I can make a better Rose!

"Rose is leaving, but she will provide a replacement so it is all good and well" I say rapidly.

"That is it? how do you feel about this then?" The 'How do you feel about that?' nonsense is always unnerving to me. I don't do feelings, at least I don't do it well.

"There is nothing I can do about it so I think yeah, that is it" I turn and am about to leave.

"You are just leaving? You haven't even sat down yet?" John points in all calmness but I sense a hint of shock under his tone.

"You are not going to tell me who is she, are you?" I ask one more time. I am not going to beg, dammit!

"Who is who?" The fucker doesn't even bother to hide his amusement.

"Then, yeah, I am leaving" I snitch the door open and close it tightly behind me. I can't let myself be with him one more second I was close to begging. Fuck, I slam my head back against the wooden door and I realized I am standing in the same spot she was a few minutes ago. I am half-thinking I could charm the identity of the mysterious girl out of the secretary but I don't want her to lose her job and she will if John knew that she told me.

I hate shrinks!

**Blue balls, wasted hard-ons, unbearable sexual tension. I live for this shit!**

**This a slow-burn storyline so poor Christian will suffer long before he gets some action **** *I am that evil, yeah***

**And I am just really aching to know your thoughts about that one! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the following and the lovely reviews, guys, I can't even believe that you are reading my crap! I just life is full of surprises ;)**

**charhamblin****: So it looks like I have got her name all wrong, doesn't it? Well, I know that her name is Ros Baily in the books but I honestly hate the name and she wasn't mentioned much in the books anyway but she will be more present in my story so I decided to change her name. Can I do that? Yep, I sure can, she isn't a main character and it is my story, also my own storyline. You may find more characters out of the books and some the same names but with different POV from how Ana saw them in the books. So I think you better buckle up, dear.**

**sweetsub75**** : I absolutely love it when I got a feedback regarding a potential hole in my story! I mean I really believe that the beauty of this site is how feedbacks improves our writing skills. Your question will be answer in the next chapter but I will let you know that I don't really plan on making Christian into a stalker! There is a line between stalker and control freak and I will try not to cross it ;)**

**Christian618****: yep, exactly! And you will see in that chapter that Ana cares for her privacy almost as much as Christian does so it would have been a total deal breaker if he stalked her like that! Grey does background checks on people who either knows he will or people who threatens him. He is not a stalker, guys. He is fucked up alright but he is not that much of a psycho, right?!**

**Hettyblue: I still love you, please keep reading this story and reviewing I am liking your reviews so much!**

**Anyways, here is a longer chapter as requested.**

**APOV:**

"Anastasia Steele. Where the hell have you been?"

"Dammit, Emma. You scared me to death" I gasp out in one ragged breath. I just walked into my apartment where I live supposedly alone to a clearly pissed off Emma sitting at my beloved sofa with a glass of wine in her hand. I glance at Emma for clues but she just glares at me. I roll my eyes and bend to pull off my shoes. She starts rambling but I kinda tuned her out 20 seconds ago. I take off my jacket and walk right to my bedroom only in my white dress. She blocks my way.

"Explain right NOW" She says firmly. I close my eyes and count to ten. Breathe, Ana. Breathe.

_I shouldn't have given her my keys. I should have stuck to the policy where I give no one entrance to my private place._

Well, remember the day you passed out in your _private _place and no one had any idea? Remember when you thought you may actually die and rot in here and no one will have to notice?

I shake my head. I don't need to remember this awful day. There has been enough drama for today.

"Emma, why did I gave you my keys?" I ask calmly like I am talking to a five-year old child. For her credit she seems shocked that I would ask that.

"For emergencies" she frowns. I give her my infamous 'exactly, you stupid. How come the thought never occurred to your tiny set of brains' smile. You know the kind of smile you give someone when you think they have been so frustratingly stupid? Yeah, I do that a lot. You just called me a bitch. I can hear it. Well, I think Emma agrees with you. She totally hates that smile too. "You weren't answering your phone! I'd call that an emergency alright, Steele. And what the hell happened to your hands? "Shit, I almost forgot about the bandages!

"Kitchen accident" I wave my hands in the air.

"And the phone?" I wasn't answering my phone? I frown and feel up my jacket, nope no phone. I didn't grab a purse when I stormed out.

"I guess that would be because I don't have it on me" I shrug and move past her. Here it is, on my bed sitting innocently. That is disturbing; I am rarely separated from my phone. I open the screen lock. Whoa, twenty missed calls and five voice mails! Man, Emma must have been really worried and I have been a bitch all over again. All I cared about was my stupid privacy!

"I have been worried sick" She explains. I walk over to her and pull her into an Ana-lock bear hug. I was told that I tend to squeeze people a little too tight when I hug them. 'You are too strong for a tiny thing' Kevin, one of friends, said once.

"I know. I am so sorry" I say squeezing her tighter. "Please, please forgive me. I was being a bitch but that is no news, right? Are we okay?" it is my turn to ramble, I guess. She chuckles because that is my friend Emma for you, guys. She can't stay mad at someone for more than two minutes.

"Alright, Steele. Forgiven, now let me go so I can breathe like a normal person and not like I am giving birth" I pull away giggling. "You are not getting away this easily, though. Tell me what happen?"

"Whatever makes you think that something happened?" I raise my eyebrows.

"Because you don't have the ability of de-attaching your phone from your skin, that is why, smart-ass"

"Aha, Sarcasm. Now where have you learnt that?"

"I have been spending an awful lot of time with a snarky as hell person, you to be specific. Quit stalling, Anastasia" I narrow my eyes at her. She knows I hate it when people call me Anastasia.

"I had a fight with Jose" I say eventually rolling my eyes. Why do I have to do this? I don't want to talk about it. Emma sounds shocked for a second, well she ought to be. We are not the fluffy couple me and Jose but we rarely ever fight.

"Now, what did you do to the poor guy?" Emma says and I have to smirk at this. Jose is the kind of guy who wouldn't hurt anyone, not even if he tried. He gives you that kind of vibe, you know. it is like he has 'Good Dude' painted on his forehead or something.

"Nothing" I shrug innocently. Emma tilts her head. "I don't know, okay? I got a little mad and he got a little sick of me. That is all" I leave her and head to the bathroom, she follows.

"So, did he actually raise his voice? Yelled?" she leans against the doorframe while I wash my face. Thank god i wasn't wearing any make-up today. I would have had a total panda case by now after all the crying and drama.

"I think his voice was a tone or two higher when he muttered 'Call me when you are done being crazy'"

"I am telling you. This guy is too good for you, Ana" She says shaking her head.

"Don't I know that" I give her my best devil smile with eyebrow wiggling and all.

"So are you done?" she asks. "Being crazy, Are you done?"

"I know I am done talking about it" I sigh and she opens her mouth but I cut her off. "Emma, please, can we talk about something else?" she clamps her lips shut. Her eyes brighten and widen suddenly like she just remembered something. Oh, man, that doesn't sound good.

"We can talk about something, yeah" She looks like she can't contain the grin on her face. Yeah, doesn't sound good at all. "Guess what?"

"What?" I play along.

"Rose Stinson called. You got an interview in GEH!" Okay, now she is actually squeaking! No idea what she talking about so I gave her a questioning stare. "Oh, come on, you don't remember? Remember when I practically twisted your arm to apply to this job? We had to write my number as a back-up contact so I guess when you didn't pick up they called me" Now that rings a bell!

"You mean the internship?" a month ago I was SIP's CEO's PA for god's sake! I thought being an intern all over again would be a little stepping back.

"At GEH!" And she is back to squeaking again!

"So?"

"So this is like the one of the biggest empires in the history of America's business" My friend tends to exaggerate alright.

"It is still an internship, Emma. Don't you think it is a little walking backward?"

"Not if you actually win after the month is over and you become Grey's second in command" The name Grey rings a bell but I can't put my finger on it.

"A, that is a big _IF. _B, I don't even know what this company is into! I am done going for jobs that has no clear future" I took the job at SIP even though my goal isn't publishing. My other major beside business was English Literature. My unlimited goal was always to go into business, gaining some experience then hopefully eventually going on my own. When James, my boss, decided that I should be 'promoted' and become an editor, I told him that I was leaving. Just because I am really into books, doesn't mean I want to make it my job. Notice to self guys; don't make your hoppy into your job, ever! You will lose it as hoppy and having no hoppy is the worst thing I can imagine. Not that I am saying don't work a career where you love what you are doing. Nope, you should love what you are doing or you will never be awesome at it.

"Well, for A, it is totally worth the risk. B, look them up"

"Fine" I say mainly to get her off my back. "I will look them up and then think about it" I wave her off and practically push her off my apartment's door. I need some rest and silence. It has been a long day and it is still only 3 PM!

"Deal" she grins. "Take your time, you have the whole day. The interview is tomorrow 10 AM at Grey house. Wear something hot, I hear Rose is a lesbian" she winks and almost run off to her car. I am left alone in my doorway my mouth hanged open. She didn't just say tomorrow, did she?

_Fuck me!_

Eventually, I gather my dropping jaw and my raising temper and go inside shutting the door behind me and trying not to slam it.

Six hours later, I have had a two hours nap, fed myself a supper, consumed two cups of my beloved English tea, researched GEH for two hours. I took the bandages off my hands and they don't look that bad. I just wish that doesn't leave marks. Now I am sitting in my shorts and large shirt biting my nails and waiting for the image before me to appear. _Please, don't be him. Please, don't be him…_

No such luck. It is him! That beautiful creature I was drooling over this afternoon may be my future boss! He might as well be my ideal! Seriously the guy is a genius. After only seven years on the business world he has build quite the name. I knew the name rang a bell when Emma said it. I just thought –hoped- it to be a coincidence. But then I thought maybe it is his father because he is just so fucking young to have built such an empire! I feel..awed. And maybe a little jealous.

I stare at the gorgeous man on my screen. He looks much hotter in person, though. I think it is the vibe he gives, the air around him, the way he carries himself around like he owns the fucking world. So arrogant, So powerful, So sexy… _What just happened? _I shake my head and scold myself internally. It is one thing drooling over hot guys when I am actually seeing them, it is hormonal and stuff but fantasizing about them is a whole other thing. I have a boyfriend, Dammit. We are in a fight, yeah, be he is there nonetheless. I am kinda grateful for the door bell I hear right now. I jump of my bed and run to open the door and I am met with a sympathetic Kevin and behind him a smoldering David.

"We are here for emotional support" David says in a way of explanation waving a bottle of wine over his head.

"We heard about the fight. Are you okay? We brought ice-cream" Kevin adds and I feel like melting. They are so sweet.

"Emma?"

"Emma knows and she hasn't told me?" Kevin narrows his eyes. If it is not Emma then who told them?

"It is Jose" David answers my unspoken question. "Met him at the bar. Looked so broken, poor guy" Jose is drinking? Well, that is new! I realize I haven't let them in so I step aside and let them pass closing the door behind them. Kevin places the ice cream can on the breakfast bar and turn to me pulling me into a hug.

"Seriously guys, I am okay. Thank you. I am really fine" I say but he squeezes me one more time before letting go.

"Nuh, no. None of this 'hiding my feelings cuz I am one tough chick' bullshit. You are gonna sit down, drink your wine and eat your ice cream while we talk about our feelings like teenagers" Kevin proclaims in his most gay voice. Most of the time you can't really tell that he is gay but there is these moment when he is so stereotype gay, it is so fun to watch.

"Sir, yes, Sir" I say trying to contain my grin. He shakes his head at me and goes to grab glasses. David comes into my view and he is opening his arms for me with a sly devious grin on his face.

"Don't touch me, David" I narrow my eyes but I am half-joking. David is the unlimited player. Considering my past I wasn't comfortable befriending him at first but he has such a big pure heart. It is funny how he reminds me of 'Joey' from the TV show 'Friends'.

"Come on" he groans out throwing his arms in the air. "I am trying to be supportive here. I was even about to over comfort sex!"

"Seriously, you think I will have sex with you for comfort? It is called taking advantage, buddy"

"Do you really think I am that bad of a person?" I raise my eyebrows and can't help my smile. "I was offering oral sex, alright? All for you. I just want you to be happy. I am not doing this for me, Ana" his face is almost...almost serious. But eventually he grins.

"Stop harassing my Ana, you pig" Kevin god bless him smashes David on the back of his head.

"Ouch" He exaggerates rubbing his head. "If you like it rough, you could just ask, you know" Yep! That is David. He can't form a decent sentence without putting a sexual innuendo somewhere in it. That is of course when he is not in court. Did I forget to mention that our loved playboy is a dead serious bad-ass lawyer? You really don't want to piss him off. However I don't hesitate to kick his skinny ass whenever he harasses Kevin about his homosexuality. He used to do it a lot more when we first met but now it is just light teasing that Kevin tolerates, which is good because if he doesn't like it, I would have kept kicking David ass.

"Come on in" Kevin calls for us while pouring three glasses of what I am sure is a very expensive bottle of wine. We drop on the couch with me in the middle and the ice cream can on my lap. I take a full spoon, tasty!

"Now fess up, Steele" Kevin says sipping on his wine glass. We had the same conversation I had with Emma, ending with me deciding that I don't really want to talk. I have had enough talking with my shrink. Somehow I managed to redirect the conversation and now we are talking about the interview I have tomorrow morning.

"So you are going to meet him? Grey? Like face to face?" Kevin sounds more excited than Emma. David doubles off laughing his heart out.

"Looks like someone has a crash" David wiggles his eyebrows playfully.

"You have a crash on Grey?" I don't know why the idea bothers me. _Don't even go there!_

"What? No" Kevin actually blushes. "I mean he is hot obviously and there are some rumors that he is gay" I think I just lost my shit for a moment there. _Say what?_

"He is gay?" i say in the most neutral voice I can manage trying to hide my shock.

"Nothing is confirmed. It is just rumors" David waves it off. Well, they must not be true then. "They just assume that because he was never seen with any dates at events and galas" I try to recall the photos I saw on the internet for him, not that I could focus on anything else when his demanding highness is present but yeah he is right. No dates? Maybe he just doesn't do relationship. I wince at the thought of him being a player. I don't know how I would feel about working for him if he is a player. _Especially because you find him so attractive. _

"I don't even know if I should go yet"

"Of course you should go!" "Is there even a question?"my two guy friends proclaim in the same time.

"Guys, it is still an internship. There is a risk. And I don't like risks"

"Ana, look! You are one smart cookie" Whoa, David is putting on his court face. "In fact, you maybe the smartest woman I have ever met" Now that is sweet and a little sexist maybe? "Think about it. Grey is a big name even if you didn't land the job you will go out with a good reference that you can use later. It will raise your CV a notch or two higher and it is only for one month"

"Or I could totally screw up and end up with Grey blacklisting me in the whole state" Why no one thought of that possibility?

"Oh come on" Kevin gives me his 'are you fucking kidding me?' look. "You will charm the pants out or Grey. Gay or straight. You are a brilliant girl and you know it. James was almost one step away from retiring for good and giving you his place!"

I feel so overwhelmed and loved that suddenly I have the need to run out of the door. I stay still however and remember John's words 'Your friends love you, Ana. You have to learn to accept that'. I let out a deep breath and relax. That is the result of years of therapy.

"It is settled then. I will give it a shot" I sigh.

"That is my Annie" Kevin squeaks placing his hand on my shoulder and pulling me up and to my bedroom. "Let's see what you are gonna wear" We enter the bedroom followed by a grinning David.

This isn't gonna be easy.

**Here it goes, liked it, hated it? No CG I know but at least we got to meet Ana's new set of buddies! What do you think of them?**

**PS: Emma is NOT Kate, guys! Kate may or may not appear later but Emma is a totally different person, you will see for yourself!**

**Next Chapter Shit will truly hit the fan for Christian. I get sad even thinking about! Brace yourselves, guys!**


	5. Chapter 5

**So I was told that I need a beta 'badly'! I am really sorry, guys. English's not my first language so I try to my best and I read and edit the chapter when I finish it but I still miss some stuff, so sorry! I will try and do better and if there is anyone who can beta me, just PM me, alright? Alright!**

**Hettyblue, thanks again!**

**Here is goes, this one is dramatic, guys. Sorry…**

**CPOV: **

_Name: Adam Parker._

_Age: Twenty-six._

I let my eyes scan the CV before me. It looks good I must say. Rose sent it to me two minutes ago. This is supposed to be the first potential, the intern. The kid seems to be brilliant. It is funny how I refer to him as kid when he is only two years younger than me! I let the file drop on my desk and pinch the bridge between my eyes. I am out of focus today. Understandable, since I didn't have much sleep last night. I spent most of the night on the piano because I couldn't catch any sleep. And when I did sleep, I was haunted by piercing blue eyes and lollipops! Well, that is new. I have never actually had a 'dream'. My subconscious has a liking to nightmares instead. So the only flashes I got in my sleep were either old memories or some creative new version of my past life as the neglected son of a crack whore.

Nightmares are the sneakiest monsters. You think you have killed them for good but they are still always there, waiting for you to let your guards down. They creep their way back into your subconscious in your weakest moment. So imagine my confusion when all I saw in my sleep last night were flashes of blue eyes and white dresses. There was nothing clear about them, merely flashes and it is driving me crazy. I don't even know the girl's name. And I can't even understand my weird and alien fascination of her. My only relationships with females are through a written agreement where both parties get what they need. They come and they go. I have never pinned over any of them. I am twenty-eight years and I have never actually pursued a girl. My submissives are always chosen and interviewed by Elena before I even get to meet them. Needless to say, I am completely out of my element here. I am still kicking myself for not making Taylor follow her when she came out of John's office. She really did blow my mind away when I saw her. And I have been entertaining the thought of making Barney hack Flynn's files and get me the information I need about her. But I know Flynn will kill me for it and honestly I don't feel like being a stalker today.

Even though I value my privacy, I couldn't care less about other people's privacy! Hypocrite? Maybe! But being Christian Grey has its perks, people are always after me so I have to be careful with the ones I make contact with which means I have to know all there is to be known about them so that I can protect myself from them if needed. I do background checks but that doesn't make me a stalker because these people _know _that they are being researched. This girl however didn't by any mean give me permission or even an excuse to invade her privacy that way. _And yes, the fact that you want to fuck her brains out isn't an excuse!_ If I even happened to meet that girl again, I wouldn't know what I want from her. Will she agree to be my submissive? Do _I _want her to be my submissive?

_Of course you do! You obviously want to fuck her so what other kind of relationship you could see yourself having with her? This is the only way you can have her and you know it!_

Maybe If I see her again I will be able to get her to sign a NDA and then tell her what I have to offer, see if she interested in it?! And what if she isn't? _Wake up! You don't know anything about that girl! You have needs and any pretty brown-haired girl will fulfill them, always have, always will! Get her out of your head!_

I sigh, stand up and leave my office heading to the conference room for my 11 AM meeting. I step into the elevator and I swear I see a glimpse of the girl in my dream before the door closes on me! I don't even know what I saw. I just felt this strange pull again, the one I felt before in Flynn's office yesterday. _Girl in your dream? Felt the pull?! _Get a grip, Grey. This isn't you! You are a fucking Dom, you aren't a hearts and flowers guy. You will only make a fool of yourself if you ever tried! _You are making a fool of yourself right now! _I make a decision that I will contact Elena right after the meeting and ask her to get me a Sub ASAP.

Three hours later, I am ready to pull my hair of my head. I can't count the times I have run my hand through my hair. Stupid Fuckers think they can sit and rest their sorry asses and everything will go smoothly. Well, that is just not true. You can't expect everyone to do their jobs flawlessly and that is what the head-manager position is for, you genius. If an employee makes a mistake, you are supposed to see it and fix it! So yeah, it is your fault also, don't try and put all the blame on the fucker who works under you! My eyes throw daggers to the backs of the twelve suits leaving the conference room with their tails between their legs. I don't tolerant mistakes. I pay them enough to not do such stupid mistakes so I don't have to deal with their shit. Does that make me an asshole? Maybe but I don't care. Do you think you can build and manage such an empire by being nice and cuddly? Welcome to the business world, fucker, we will chew you up and spit you out like gum!

Once they are out of my sight, I pull out my phone and dial Elena. It goes straight to voice mail. Dammit! I dial the salon and they tell me she didn't show up today. That is not her habit. She tends to be always there when I need her. Where the fuck is she?

"I found her" My head snaps up to Rose as she almost _bounces _to me. She looks awfully excited which is also out of character for Rose. Have I entered the twilight zone today?

"Who?"

"Our second intern" She places a file in front of me with the name _Anastasia Steele' _written on it. "Her name is Anastasia Steele" Rose looks like she can't contain her excitement. "She is amazing, twenty-four years old, Graduated from WSU with two majors, fluent in French, German, Russian and…" I cut her off. I don't have the energy for that now.

"That is all well and great, Rose. Get them to sign NDA and Send their information to Welch for the background check. Tell Andrea to fit a meeting with each one for them in my tomorrow schedule so I can confirm their internship and get this over with. I have things to take care of now" with that I leave her without waiting for her reply. I need to see Elena NOW.

"Sir?" Taylor questions once I get into the car. This isn't scheduled.

"Mrs. Lincoln's house, Taylor" I see a hint of hesitation in his eyes at the reviewing mirror and he looks like he wants to say something but he doesn't. And I am grateful for that, I pay him enough to not question me. I try to relax but the whole drive I have this awful feeling in my stomach that something bad is about to happen. I shrug the depressing thought away. I can't afford extra stress.

"We are here, Sir" Taylor voice's cuts through my thought and the car stops.

"Wait for me here" I say before I step out of the car. I don't intent to stay long. I will just tell her what I want and to contact me when she finds me a new submissive. I pass the threshold of her always open gate. I don't get how she doesn't give her personal protection more care but it is her choice I guess. I look up and I see something that stops me right in my tracks. A kid who can't be older than sixteen walking out of the front door, his head is down, his dirty blond hair is messy and not in the good way, his sweat shirt's sleeves are rolled to just below his elbows showing the clear marks of bondage on his wrists. He shoves his hands on his pocket and starts walking toward me. I think he senses my fixed gaze on him because he looks up startled and that is when I see it. I know that defeated look on his young but tired face, the emptiness and confusion in his eyes. I used to see that face every day in the mirror for years. He quickly tries to roll down his sleeves to cover his wrists and that is when I realized that I actually know the boy. Colin Fells. I mean I know his father. He never shuts up about his son, his joy and pride. I still remember the photo he showed me of his son with a date on their first prom party in high school. Fucking prom! I am suddenly seeing red. I think I am moving but the next thing I know I am standing face to face with her, Elena just getting out of her dungeon still wearing her full Domme gear. I stop just inches from her painted face.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" I scream right to her confused face and let all the anger, the fear, the resentment I feel show in my tone.

"Christian, what is wrong?" She looks a little scared. But her pretended innocence is so fake that it almost pushed me over the edge. I have to step away from her before I lose my barely there control and start chocking her.

"He is a good kid. His father always talks about him. He was in the prom party a few months ago with a date. I think it is his girlfriend because he was kissing her and they looked so happy" I am not sure who I am talking to right now. I am pacing the hallway with my fingers running through my hair every 20 seconds. I can't believe this shit. He looked so happy and innocent in that photo, not like the broken boy I just saw minutes ago. I stop dead and glance at her. She did this! She broke him!

"Christian please calm down and start making sense. Who are you talking about?" She talks slowly like she is talking to a young boy. Oh, fuck! I can't take it anymore. I did the only thing I can and put myself in my Dom mood to maintain some control.

"Why did you take Colin Fells as your submissive, Elena?" I ask her. My voice calm and controlled, my feet planted on the floor and my hands are folded in front of me. She recognizes the voice and the stance immediately from her old days when she subbed for me. Her face drops and her tone softens.

"Christian…"

"Answer the question, Elena" I repeat in a sterner tone. She looks up at me. Her eyes harden a little.

"He wants it, Christian. He needs it. Just like you did" is her only answer.

"He is a good kid. A straight A+ student, he has a fucking girlfriend. He doesn't need your fucking help. His parents are going through a divorce but they love him. And you know that. You are not helping him, you are just using his troubles against him. Just like…" I stop my yelling fit and my voice ends in a whisper, my eyes widens painfully as the realization hit me.

_Just like she just my troubles against me._

She must know what I was going to say because her eyes widen as well and she looks really scared now.

"Christian…" She puts her hand on my arm.

"Don't touch me" the voice comes from me but it is not my voice. I don't recognize it as any tone of mine. It is the voice of a broken child and it mirrors exactly how I feel right now. I do the first and only thing a scared child does.

I run.

I run out the house where I was victimized for the second time in my life. I run and I don't look back. I can hear Taylor calling "Sir. Sir. Sir" but I don't really hear him. I am running for my life and I don't seem like I am running fast enough. I press my feet harder to the ground and run faster.

_He wants it. He needs it. just like you did"."_

It is getting harder to breath so I snitch my tie and throw it somewhere but I never slow down.

_"You will take your punishment, Christian. You know you deserve it_. _You love it"_

Her voice in my head haunting me, urging me to run faster and faster.

_"This is the only lifestyle that fits our needs. Other people don't understand it because they are not like us"_

_It is your only option_. _You can't have a normal life because you not normal. You are fifty shades of fucked-up._

_"I am helping you. You need this"_

_"You were set to a path of self-destruction I did the only thing I can to save you"_

Colin's photo flashes through my mind followed by the boy I saw today.

She is poisoning him.

_Just like she poisoned me._

The wind hits my face as I run, cooling the wetness on my face. I now realize that I have been crying. I can't remember the last time I have ever cried. I run faster.

_She used my problems against me. Made me believe for years that she helped me, that she was doing it for me. Just me._

God, how many boys has she fucked?

My lungs feel like they are on fire and I trip and fall on all four. I close my eyes and try to catch my breath. In and out. In and out. I feel the hard concrete under my knees and my palms but I couldn't care less. I don't even know where I am right now. Eventually when I manage to breathe more regularly, I look up and realize that I am almost fifty feet away from Flynn's. _How convenient! _I almost want to laugh. Almost. I don't know if I came here for Flynn or was I drawn here because it was the last place I saw _her. _For some reason I feel like I need to see her, to touch her. I need her to tell me how to understand what's happening to me. Weird! I guess Flynn will have to do then.

"I need to see John. Now" I order once I enter his office. The blond secretary is startled when she sees me._ I must look like shit._

She picks her phone and starts talking in whispers, her wide eyes not leaving me. I close my eyes and drop my head shaking it slightly. I walk to the sofa and drop my dead weight on it. I have never felt so tired. I am startled by John's voice.

"Christian" I look up and I must look like a lost puppy because he doesn't ask any of his normal questions he just says a quiet "Come on in" and I follow him to his office.

"She is a pedophile" I say calmly after a few moment of silence. I wait for him to comment be he just remains silence. I am not meeting his eyes instead I am staring at the floor trying to memorize every detail of his carpet. I suddenly figure that he may need clarification. "Elena" her name falls from my mouth like a curse. "She is a pedophile" I hear his breath coming out in what seems like relief.

"That is what I have been telling you" Seriously? Is he playing the 'I told you so' game. Now? "Tell me. How did you figure this out?" His voice is void of any humor.

"I saw a sixteen year-old kid coming out of her house when I went to see her today"

"How did you know that the boy has the same relationship with her that she had with you?"

"There were…" I swallow the lump in my throat. And I realize my hands are shaking. "…marks on his wrists. I recognized the marks. And his face…his eyes…" I can't explain it but even if I didn't see the marks I would have known that he is a new training submissive. I would have known because one day I was him. "He is a good kid. His parents are going through divorce but they love him. He is not fucked-up, John. Not like me. Why would she do this?" I put my head in my hands and realize that my whole body is shaking right now. I try to stop the shaking but I can't.

"You said it yourself, Christian" John replies in a calm tone. "She is a pedophile. A predator. She used the boy's problem to trap him into her world. Just like she did to you"

"No. this is different. I was troubled. I needed to be set right. But he is just going through rough time that will pass eventually"

"Just like your troubled time would have passed" I shake my head no. I was a mess. The fights, the drinking, the rage, I couldn't bear to be touched. There is no way this time of my life would have just 'passed' harmlessly. "You needed help, yes. But not the kind of help she offered you. She snitched you from a path of self-destruction to place you in a parallel path that was just as destructive. She wrecked your emotional, social and romantic life. They were damaged before she came but they weren't beyond repair. She didn't repair them, she destroyed them instead" It is not the first time I hear this words from him but they leave a different ring this time for some reason.

"He doesn't deserve this" But I did. It was the only way for me. I was poisoned. I was beyond repair. John just doesn't get it.

"Neither did you" I shake my head. He sighs. "How could you see the crime she is doing to this kid but still think that what she did to you was justified?"

"It is not about being justified or not, Flynn. It is about what was best for me back then. You didn't see how I was. I told you but you didn't see it"

"Tell me, Christian. What are the problems she managed to solve?" He titles his head. Well that is a new question. "You still can't be touched. You still have bad social skills and trust issues. The nightmares are still there" Well, not exactly. I consider telling him about my dreams but thought better of it. I don't even know how to explain them myself. "You still can't have a relationship without a written contract. Tell me where is the repair she did? All I see is old problems turning into new and bigger forms" I don't say anything to that. "Think about this, Christian. You have had enough for the day" That is mostly his way to tell me that he reached a dead end with my dickhead of a person. I stand up and leave without muttering a word. Just when I am out of the building I spot Taylor standing beside my car. He must have followed me. This man is worth his weight of gold. He opens the backseat door when I reach him.

"Thank you, Taylor" He looks shocked but he hides it well. I can't help my smile. I realize that I never thanked him before. "Mrs. Lincoln is banned to come near me from now on. She is banned from the house and Grey House. Make sure to alert me if she comes hundred feet close to anything that belongs to me" I say to Taylor once I settle at the backseat of my car.

"Yes, Sir. Are you going back to Grey House, Sir?"

"Just take me home, Taylor" I mutter as I close my eyes and drop my head back. I take a mental note to change the codes of my house because she knows them and I know she will try to communicate with me even though I never what see her fucking face again.

This isn't going to be easy.

**Ah, so that was tough! What do you think?**

**Come on, guys! 18 reviews for 4 chapter? You can do better than that ;)**

**PS: Ana was really in Grey House when Christian saw her. Her interview was with Rose but she will meet up with Christian in the next day.**


	6. Chapter 6

**DonKosak: Don't underestimate our Christian. He is quite athletic. And rage can truly fuel you more than anything! About the faces, I was thinking of making a Pinterest for this story but I am not sure.**

**Hettyblue: I wanted Christian to have a character growth of his own away from his relationship with Ana. But somewhere across the way she will sure help him to overcome his demons.**

**And guys I am sooo happy right now! You are all so sweet and big hugs and thanks for everyone. Your reviews are my fuel ;)**

**And as for the guest who decided to tell me before she clicks unfollow: darling you could have saved your breath and your manicured fingers. I was considering replying to you even though you didn't even write a name but then I asked the sweet reader who you said I was 'very rude' to and she said that I was and I quote "**** in no way, shape or form rude" so I decided that this means your words were total bullshit. I will answer your last question anyway, Yes, the gay friend 'cliché' is necessary for the story, too bad you won't be around to know how! Bye bye! **

***Deep breath* Sorry about that!**

**APOV:**

I check my hair and make-up one more time in the elevator's mirror. Truth is, I hate wearing make-up. It could be because I am not really good at it, or at least not as good as Emma. She is a total wizard. I really believe she could have rocked this career if she wasn't a kick-ass wedding planner. The story of my friend Emma, she has always been so obsessed with weddings since she was a little girl which makes her also obsessed with anything wedding related, like cakes, decorations , flowers and of course how to dress up perfectly. In any other similar situation, I would have called for her help to doll me up but I am still a little mad at her for putting me in that situation in the first place. I hate deadlines! I hardly slept last night because there was so much research to be covered before I walk into this interview. You see, walking into an interview unprepared is a total no-no for me. The bang announcing the elevator's arrival cuts through my train of thoughts.

"Well, here goes nothing" I mutter to myself before stepping out of the elevator. I am greeted by a pretty polished blonde perfectly dressed. I am suddenly thankful for the classic light gray dress which stops just above my knees with the white blazer that Kevin helped me choose from my closet last night. The guy has such a good taste in fashion for a gynecologist. Yep, you heard that right. My gay friend is a gynecologist. You would think that dealing with so much vagina is the reason he was totally put off of it but he already knew he was gay since high school so that is totally unrelated. And no, he doesn't think it is weird.

"Hello, Ms. Steele. I was instructed to meet you here and guide you to Ms. Stinson's office for your interview" Her tone and smile is so sweet I feel like brushing my teeth. "Will you come with me?"

"Yes, please" I follow her into a maze of hallways until we reach a waiting area that is bigger than my whole apartment.

"Please take a seat, Ms. Steele. I will inform Ms. Stinson of your arrival" I nod and sit on the nearest sofa in the most lady-like fashion I can manage. Man, this place is formal. There is no hint of warmness in it. I look around observing the decorations. All black and white, how stereotype moderny of you, Mr. Grey. I feel a smile tugging my lips as I recall the dark gray suit he had on when I saw him at John's office. I wonder if I will see him today. I mean, I know that my interview is with Rose but he must be somewhere here, probably near.

"Ms. Stinson will see you in a minute" Ms. Blondie announces. I am again taken back by the overdo formality of this place. I don't know if I will be comfortable working in such a cold environment. _Wake up, Steele. You don't even know if you are going to work here! _True, but it is still a possibility.

"Ms. Anastasia Steele" My head snaps to find a beautiful redhead who I am guessing is Rose. She is such a stunning woman and dress like a true professional. A theory classic black pant suit and a white satin blouse with her red hair pulled up tight in a pin, she looks every bit of an unbreakable businesswoman. If it wasn't for the friendly smile she has on her face I would be royally scared right now. "Rose Stinson" She extends her hand and I give her a firm handshake and try to fine my voice. "I am sorry to keep you up"

"It is alright" Nailed it, Steele. Keep it cool.

"Excellent! Please follow me so we can get started on this" I follow her back to her office. I would have taken my time admiring the decoration if I wasn't so damn nervous! Dammit, the last time I had an interview was two years ago. I forgot how much of bitch this can be. "Please have a seat" I do as I am told and she sits behind her desk across from me. She picks up a file and opens it, I am guessing it is my CV which I left earlier for her assistant.

"So it seems like you had two majors, Ms. Steele?" She asks after finally closing the file and addressing me with an encouraging smile.

"Ana. Please call me Ana"

"Ana, it is" She nods and waits for me to…answer her damn question, Steele.

"Business and English literature, Yes"

"And how did you managed to make room for two not-so easy majors?" I can tell that she is actually curious and not just trying to be a bitch. How do you answer that without sounding cocky or nerdy? Tricky one!

"I guess I have always had a passion for books and poetry so studying English literature was like attending to a hobby of mine. On the other hand, Business has always been the career I wanted to pursue" Here, that wasn't so bad.

"May I ask why did you choose Business?" Boy, she is so polite!

"I know a good bargain when I see it" Now, that may have come out a little cocky. She doesn't seem to notice, though.

"Alright! Now, I understand that you are actually fluent in French, German, Russian and Italian, am I right?"I nod. "How did you learn this many languages at such a young age? Have you been abroad?"

"I made a vow to myself to learn a new language every year since I was a junior in college. And no, I have never been abroad. In fact I have never left the States but traveling has always been one of my dreams" I have always wanted to go to Rome but I never really had the chance and I always thought going alone will be boring.

"Well, I can assure you that you will be traveling a lot if you won this internship" Don't I know that? Actually it is one of the most appealing things in this job. GEH has so many overseas connections which mean lots and lots of business trips! "Just out of curiosity, what language are you learning this year?"

"I haven't chosen one yet"

"Well I would go for Chinese if I were you. We are about to go into a lot of projects with them and your fluent tongue could come in handy" She is talking like it is a done deal that I am not only getting the internship but also getting the actual job. I really don't wanna get my hopes up! "Also it is a hard language, could be a bit of a challenge"

"I love a challenge, Ms. Stinson"

"I can see that. And If I am gonna call you Ana, you are calling me Rose"

"Deal" I can't help my grin.

"Good, because we will be spending a lot of time together in the next month" Is she saying what I think she is saying? "Yes, Ana. Congrats, you got the internship" Get the mind-reader a lollipop! "Welcome aboard" I spring up and take her extended hand in mine.

"That is it?" I whisper when I finally find my voice. As she leads me out of her office.

"Yes. But you will still need Mr. Grey confirmation so you have a meeting with him tomorrow. Be sure to arrive at 9 AM sharp"

"Sure…Thank you, Ms.S…Rose" Fuck, now I am stumbling!

"You are welcome" She gives me one last smile before disappearing back in her office.

I am in a cab on my way back home when my phone rings an upcoming text. It is from Jose. I sigh, we haven't talked since our fight yesterday. I open the text. It is just three simple words.

**I am sorry* *******

_This guy is too good for you._

***I am sorry, too* **I type back. His reply comes a few seconds later.

***Are we okay?* **I hold my breath, my finger hovering over the different letters blurring before my eyes. Eventually I let my breath out.

***Yes. We are okay***

I lock the phone quickly and throw it back in my purse.

I wonder if lying in text is considered lying.

The truth is, I don't really know if we are okay or not. I have no fucking clue. But If I say we aren't, I don't have any kind of explanation to why we aren't. And whose fault is that? And whether it is fixable or beyond repair. And I can't for the ever loving life of me bring myself to blame him for any of this mess. His only fault is getting involved with someone as fuck up as me.

"Ma'am" The cabbie's voice startles me. We arrived and I haven't even realized. Great! I am out of focus again. I pay the driver and decide to change and hit the gym this afternoon. The second I walk out of the elevator I am hit by the soft music of 'Lego house' by Ed Sheeran and an overwhelming amount of red roses with Jose standing between them holding a single red rose. He sees me. He smiles and walks over to me. I am frozen in place.

"Since I was never good at expressing my emotions, you know and I know you love this song. Please tell me this isn't too clich…" He doesn't get to finish the sentence as I pull him by his shirt and kiss him with fever. He is surprised for a moment then he kisses me back. His arms wraps around my waist. I put my arms around his neck and bury my fingers on his hair. He groans and thrusts his tongue in my mouth, his right hand slips to cup my backside. I pull away.

"I am sorry…I get carried away…" He pants out then a smile spreads across his face. I shake my head at him with a smile of my own.

"I stopped because we have company" He frowns so I slide from his arms and turn to the two heads popping from the door opposite to mine.

"Get in your own apartment, you creeps" I scold with my hands on my hips feeling like a kinder garden teacher. Being neighbors with these two could be a pain in the ass.

"But it is just so romantic!" David protests. "Ana, I think Kevin even shed a tear or two"

"I am not crying! You are crying" I think Kevin kicks David's shin because he lets out a groan and double over him sending them both face fast on the floor.

"I think…." I say between my laughter. "You are both crying now" I laugh so hard that I feel wetness at the corners of my eyes. Jose is in no better state as well, he is trying to catch his breath as waves of laughter rocks him. The guy has such a sexy laugh, I must say. We enter my apartment while still laughing. I lock the door and turn to find Jose unbuttoning his shirt and walking toward me with a devious smile.

"Now, where were we?"

"Easy, tiger" I place my hands on his chest stopping him from getting any closer. "I am hungry. I didn't have breakfast because I was so nervous about the interview" I wiggle myself away from him and head for the kitchen.

"You had an interview today?" He follows me to the kitchen re-buttoning his shirt.

"Yeah, at GEH. It is an internship actually"

"Oh, how did it go?"

"Good, I guess" I open my fridge looking for something to throw together to make something edible.

"Great, then let's go have lunch out. I heard about a new place they make the best Chinese food" He comes behind me, puts his arms around my waist and nuzzles my neck.

"I hate Chinese food. You don't know that?" Why does that annoy me? It is not like I am super chatty and open with him. Here we go again.

"You don't? Well then, we can go wherever you want" I accept his peace offer.

"Alright but then I have to hit the gym" I turn around to face him.

"How about we have lunch and then head back here and I give you a different kind of work-out" He winks.

"I'd love to, baby. But I haven't been there for a month now. Kenji is gonna kill me if I don't go" He pouts. "But how about" I run my thumb over his pouty lip and watch his eyes darkening. "We hit the gym together then we head back here for an extra work-out"

So it is settled.

The second Kenji spots me walking in he barks at me to go warm my ass up. I shrug and comply. He has every right to be grumpy. He has been my Krav Maga trainer for six years. When I first came to him I was still this scared little girl but with a titanium determination to never be overpowered ever again. He saw that in me and used it in every possible way to help me. Now I am at the place where I can beat three men double my size without ruining my manicure.

After my session with Kenji is over, I am more than ready to head home. I look for Jose and spot him working the treadmill to a sweat. I see a few women drooling over him and thank god I am not the jealous type because those bitches couldn't be more obvious. I glance at him. I can see what got them so memorized though. The guy is hot alright. His patch black hair is now falling over his face making him even more handsome. Well, now I am ready to leave so I can fuck his brains out.

_I am trapped._

_I try to move my arms but my wrists are tied together so tight that I feel the ropes digging in my sore skin. The same goes for my legs. I struggle but it is no use. Screaming is also not an option due to the cloth muffing my mouth. I try to scream around it, no sound comes out. Just when I feel the desperate tears burning behind my closed eyes, I hear a teasing sound._

_"What is the matter, little bitch? You gonna cry now?" the humor, the coolness in the voice is more terrifying than a growl of a wild animal. Whoever put me in the position is enjoying this immensely. I open my eyes finally willing to face my surroundings. And he is there. His face so familiar even in the darkness of the small room, the sick joy in his blue eyes, the wide grin on his face that is supposed to be charming but now is nothing more than scary. I feel the weight of his body covering my own and for the first time I realize that I am stripped down to my underwear. Feeling even more afraid and vulnerable, tears flow from my eyes._

_"Oh, come on. Don't cry on me now" He fakes a pout and presses his body closer to mine, more intimate. "We are gonna have so much fun" He groans clearly enjoying himself and the sound makes me want to vomit all over him. "At least, I know I will" he winks._

_Get off me._

_Leave me alone, you sick bastard._

_A slap, so loud it echoes in the room, so hard I feel my brain hitting the inside of my skull by the force of it, leaving a burning sensation on the left side of my face._

_"Shut up, you slut" his voice is angry now for some reason. I try to remember what I have done to anger him, I come up with nothing. He grasps my face in his hand tightly my teeth digs into the inside of my cheeks. I bite back the pain as he shakes my head like a doll. "You brought that to yourself, didn't you? Why did you have to be such a fucking tease!" I whimper something inaudible and I am rewarded by another slap. He then bends down and bite my lower lip, his hands roaming my body I tag harder on my restrains with no hope but no other way, a groan of frustration escapes my throat._

_"You like that, don't you?" he whispers darkly. No, no, you idiot, I hate it, every bit of it. I shake my head furiously. "Yes, you do" He takes hold of my face again, stopping my movement and making me meet his sick eyes dead on. "You do" he says again and I am not sure if he is telling me or himself. "Because you are a little whore who likes it rough and tonight you are gonna take all I give you like a good little whore and you are gonna fucking like it"_

A sob, a scream, a final cry, a combination of all leaves my throat and this time I hear it echoing through the walls around me. I rouse violently and realize I am finally free except I am not there anymore, I am home, on my own bed.

Another freaking dream!

"Ana" My head snaps so violently to the source of the voice. I find Jose standing at the doorway shirtless and holding a glass of water. I breathe in relief and he walks over to me. "Are you alright, baby?" I can only nod as I try to gather my nerves. Damn it, why did he have to be here when this happens?! I always tried to avoid sleepovers for this exact reason. I don't want him starting to ask questions I am not eager to answer. But we were dead tired after the gym and the sex after so we just dropped asleep.

"I went to grape a glass of water and heard you screaming. You freaked me out" He says softly as he sits beside me. I don't want to talk and I sure don't want him to touch me right now. I take the water he offers me mostly to buy myself some time. "Are you alright?" He asks again and I nod. "Bad dream?" I nod. "Wanna talk about it?" I shake my head and pray that he just drops it. Thankfully he does. He stands up and places a light kiss on my forehead and I bite my tongue so as not to wince on the simple touch. He goes back to sleep immediately and I bury my shaking form under the covers knowing I wouldn't be able to catch any sleep again.

At 6:30 AM, I close the alarm before it even rings and glance at the sleeping form of Jose. I jump of the bed and go through my morning routine. Forty-five minutes later I am ready to leave and Jose is still asleep. In any other day I would wake him up because I am not comfortable with leaving him alone in my apartment. Yep, privacy again! But after last night I am not eager to meet his questioning and maybe even pitying eyes. I need to forget about last night completely. I need to be at my peck today for my meeting with Grey. I can't help wondering, though.

Does he remember me?

**CPOV:**

Ten rounds with Claude from which I won four.

Two hours working the punching bag.

Three hours on the treadmill.

Half a bottle of scotch.

And I still can't sleep. I find myself on my piano again. I play and I play until I can't feel fingers anymore. I glance at the clock and it is still 11 PM. I decide to get some work done so I head for my study. I eye the files of the two chosen interns Rose sent to my house when I left early. I guess it is better to take a look at this before meeting them tomorrow. I pick the file of Ms. Anastasia Steele and open it. My eyes widen as I see the photo inside the file of no one but the girl who hasn't left my mind for two days. I blink a few times out of fear that the scotch has got into my head but no, it is still her. I hold the file on my hands like a valuable historical document. I can't believe it has been with me all along, right in front of me! Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuckery!

I am still collecting my thought and trying to wrap my head around the situation. So many thought flying through my brain.

Her name is Anastasia. Such a beautiful name. I can't imagine a name more suited for her. So soft and sensual…

So it was actually her I saw today! I haven't completely lost my mind!

I start reading her C.V but my mind is bouncing with one and only idea that is obsessing me whole. I try to focus back, tell myself that I need to know more about her but I can't bring myself to care about anything but this one thing.

I will see her again tomorrow.

Does she remember me?

**Another dark chapter! Sorry, things have to get dark before it gets light, I guess. So now you got a look at Ana with Jose, what do you think of it?**

**I am sure you can now guess what happened to poor Ana but let me tell you, this isn't all! There is a reason behind her being so closed up and behind her self-loathing and anger issues. All will be explained later.**

**Thanks again for the reviews. That was more than I have ever wished!**


	7. Chapter 7

**stace1971****: Yeah, that would have been awkward! Just know whatever those two did is nothing compared to those two other freaks will do when they do get together!**

**Hettyblue and LylyNg: I am really sorry if last chapter was disturbing but it had to be, Sorry! And Hettyblue, You cracked me up with the coiled cobra thing, I had to put 'cobra' in this chapter!**

**Here is the meeting we have been waiting for, hope it is not disappointing!**

**APOV:**

At 8:50 AM, I am getting out of the taxi as I reach Grey House. It is the second day on a row for me to be here but I still find it…intimidating. Yes, it is still cold and too formal for my taste but also intimidating as hell. I wonder if the building reflects Mr. Grey's persona. Is he cold? I remember the way his eyes burnt into me two days ago and a shiver run through my spin. Nope, not cold, anything but cold indeed. Dominating, of course, you don't have to talk to him to know that this man makes sure to be in total control of everything he comes in contact with. I chase away the confusing but exciting haze of trying to figure out Christian Grey. I don't need to figure him out, at least not today. Today is all about knocking him off his feet. And I am dressed to kill. My hair is pulled in a high ponytail. My pressed blue skirt high wait reaching my knees and giving me a perfect hourglass figure, complete with a creamy blouse that maybe a little see through so I made sure to wear a good bra of the same color and finally my killer nude high heels and bag. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to use my body to impress my boss. I just feel much more confident when dressed good and sexy. It has a magic effect on me to be in a good shape. At the end I am a professional, I am not some sluty secretary trying to sex her boss.

I let out a nervous sigh when the receptionist tells me that I am to go to the security room to receive my badge, ID and some other work codes. Fuck, I came 10 minutes early because I didn't wanna be late! Being late makes you lose points even before you walk in.

Thirty minutes later, I am finally in the elevator and on my way up. Shit, I am fifteen minutes late! They have such a complicated security system here. Makes Mr. Grey a little too paranoid in my opinion.

"Ana, where the hell have you been?" Is Rose's hello for me in my first day at work. Well, that is just dandy! She doesn't look mad, though. She looks kinda anxious.

"I am really sorry but it is your security system fault, I was held up there for thirty minutes" I say while following her through the maze that is this company. Man, how am I gonna find my way through this place?

"Fine. But just so you know. Grey isn't in a good mood today. I don't know who pissed him off but it doesn't sound good" That is a good sign! It takes everything in me to keep walking and not run back in other direction. Rose looks super tense as well, gone the relaxed and friendly woman from yesterday. It is the Grey effect! I am beginning to re-think my opinion of him, he sounds like the kind of boss who likes his employees to fear him. I never liked this kind of boss.

We reach the same waiting area I was in yesterday. I glance at the blond who greeted me yesterday. She is in no better state than Rose. What is this man doing to them?

"Ana, wait here please" She points me to a seat and I spot a man sitting there in the same place I was yesterday. I study him, he looks nervous, too nervous, I mean biting-on-his-nails kind of nervous. He doesn't look much older than me.

"Hey" I mutter while taking a seat on the other end of the couch he is sitting on.

"Huh?" His head snaps up at me and he looks startled. For some reason I want to assure him. Even though I am not any better myself. But that is what I do, I busy myself with people's troubles to forget my own, not healthy, don't try it.

"Are you here for the internship, too?"

"Ah…Yes" He stumbles a little then he looks down in embarrassment. gotta say, the boy is kinda cute.

"Me too" I give him a reassuring smile which he seems to accept. He beams at me for a second.

"You are Anastasia Steele?" Alright, how does he know me? Maybe Rose told him.

"Just call me Ana"

"Adam Parker" He extends his hand and put on a charming smile. He seems to have gained some of his nerves now, which I am glad for.

"Nice to meet you" I shake his hand lightly.

"Likewise" He grins completely relaxed now and I couldn't be prouder of myself. "So…How do you think he is like?" I give him a questioning stare. "Grey" He says it like it is so obvious. "How do you think he is like?" _Beautiful, sexy, powerful…._

"Intimidating, I guess. I mean you gotta be if you can cause this kind of tension" I try hard to hide the fact that I met Grey before. I don't want Adam to think I have kind of advantage over him.

"Well, that sounds just peachy" He chuckles and I found myself chuckling with him. He is a lied-back nice dude, the kind of dude I would be friends with. Heck, maybe this internship wouldn't be so bad after all. Our light mood is shifted when another blonde comes out of a wooden door and she looks like she is about to cry.

"Olivia?" Blonde on the desk addresses the new blonde with caution. Her kindness seems to trigger the tears of 'Olivia' who breaks into a fit of sobs. The blonde rashes to pull Olivia into a hug.

"Shush…it is alright. It is not the first time, is it? Mr. Grey isn't a softie and you know that well" Olivia sobs begins to vanish as the kind blonde keeps on smoothing her. So not only is he making his employee nervous and tense because he is in a foul mood, he actually made that sweet girl cry?! He sounds like an asshole to me honestly.

"This…is…" Olivia hiccups. "This is the third coffee I make for him this morning and he still tells me it is tastes like shit. He always liked my coffee. I don't know what I am doing wrong, Andrea!" Coffee? Fucking Coffee? He made her cry because he didn't like the taste of the fucking coffee. This man is a fucking asshole alright!

"Andrea" A yell comes from the intercom on Andrea's desk causing all of us to jump in place. Even Adam made a little jump of his own. "Tell Ms. Lavon that if she doesn't quit the waterworks immediately she better quits her job before she gets fired. And send Mr. Parker in. Let's see if he has some tears to shed as well" Grey parks through the intercom. Man, I feel like I am gonna be sick. Monster boss alarm! Monster boss, run for your life! I hold my ground anyway because Ana Steele is no quitter. He would fire her because he doesn't like her coffee?! What a douche! Olivia whips her face quickly and breathes deeply to stop the tears. She looks terrified! Andrea glances nervously at Adam who now looks like he wants to run as well.

"Mr. Parker?" He seems frozen in place so I take his hand.

"Hey. It is gonna be okay. Bullies feed on fear but they are just cowards" I tell him the phase Ray used to tell me when I was being bullied in fourth grade. Adam chuckles at me and I feel some of my anxiety leave my body as he does.

"Here goes everything" He mutters before he stands up and walks to the wooden door looking like a man walking into the chamber of torture.

It is official, Grey is an asshole.

_Don't you dare run now, Steele!_

Instead, I ask where to find the nearest ladies room and pray to god I don't get lost. After a small but effective self-pip talk. I am a little calmer and ready to face the beast when I go back to the purgatory…AKA the waiting area. I see Rose talking to Andrea and she turns to me once I walk in.

"Ana. Thank god you are here. I thought you left or something" She looks relieved.

"No, I didn't leave" Although I wanted to. "Just went to the bathroom. Is Adam done yet?" Is it my turn to cry?

"Yes, I sent him with Olivia to show him his desk" I stare at her expectantly. "Grey is off somewhere. Probably wanted a little breather" Yeah because he is the one being bullied and not the other way around. "Will you wait for him in his office, please?" Having no other choice, I nod and let Olivia lead me to the gates of hell. What is inside of course is anything but hell.

If I thought Grey House is cold and intimidating, it has got nothing on the den of the Great Grey itself. Intimidating doesn't seem an enough word to describe the wide space before me, probably twice the size of my apartment. Why would just one person need so much space? Well, let me tell you. If Grey was here, probably sitting behind his big-ass desk, it would take me at least fifteen feet to reach within hearing and talking distance for him, Which gives him more than enough time to study every little detail about me even before I open my big mouth but most of all my anxiety would have been doubled with every step I take while he fixes me with this knowing stare of him. Smart of him, of course, but he is still a bully. And man, do I just _hate _bullies. I decide that my little crash on Christian Grey is over before it even begins.

Taking a seat beside his desk, I feel my anxiety building up again. If his highness is going to be late, I am going to need a distraction. I pull my phone out of my bag and dig back in the book I started two days ago. God bless whoever invented e-books. A chapter and a half later, the phone on the desk rings cutting the silence, startling me and causing me to jump in my seat and my phone to drop of my hand to a place unknown. I roll my eyes. This day just keeps getting better and better.

**CVOP:**

To say the day turned much worse than I expected is an understatement. I woke up in a good mood, nervous like a school-boy yeah, but still a better mood than I can ever remember being in. My mind was racing with excitement and confusion. The day took a turn in hell when I stepped out of the elevator in the garage to find no one but Elena Lincoln leaning on my car and obviously waiting for me. I made Taylor deal with her, AKA remove her away from my fucking face, without having to talk to her. But I did hear every word she said.

_We need to talk, Christian. It is just a misunderstanding! _Yeah!

_You can't shut me out like this. We are a team. Always have, always will._

_You will come back to me when you realize how foolish and childish your behavior has been._

_I look forward to us making up._

That was the last I heard before I packed myself into my car fighting the need to throw up my whole breakfast. I then realized I was so caught up in my drama to think about the fact that she is still out there. God, how long have she been fucking up kids? This has to stop but how.

I have been pacing and squeezing my mind for a way to put that beast behind bars. I know from previous experience that no one of her current or recent victims will talk. Hell, they probably don't realize that they are victims! The only lead we got is if we have a clear proof of her criminal activities, which won't be easy because I am sure she is being careful but I made Welch put two men on her anyway.

Even if I decided to throw my reputation in the garbage can and come publicly clean with my history with her, I still can't put her in jail. I did my research on that and it turned out I can only report her three years after I turned eighteen. And since I have turned eighteen ten years ago, I can't do a damn thing. I am madder at myself than anything. If I wasn't so stupid, so blind, so brainwashed! If I have seen her true colors earlier, how many kids would have been spared? How many kids have gotten caught in her claws all because of my stupidity and my silence?!

I yell at Olivia to bring me another cup of coffee because that one tastes like crap. Or maybe everything tastes _bitter _today. She looks like she is going to cry before she practically run out of my office. Fresh meat! So fast to cry. I make it my hobby to toughen those easy preys up. If they don't learn to be tougher, they aren't going to last long in this wicked world.

"Andrea, Tell Ms. Lavon that if she doesn't quit the waterworks immediately she better quits her job before she gets fired" This is the third time she breaks into tears in a two months period of work. I don't work with wusses. "And send Mr. Parker in. Let's see if he has some tears to shed as well" Since the great Ms. Steele haven't arrived yet. Yes, I am mad at her too. I feel ridiculous and ashamed by how many times I asked Andrea or Rose if Ms. Steele is here yet. My palm twitches and I feel like bending her over and spanking the living shit out of her sweet ass for being late. _Now, where did that come from?_

My meeting with Mr. Parker does nothing to calm my temper. The boy clearly needs some sharpening up. He was shaking in his boots even before I opened my mouth. After pushing and squeezing him a little I let him go. He is a good potential, yes, but first, he still needs so much work to be fit into the business world, second, I don't see myself working with someone who can't stand up for himself. Rose was the perfect person to work with. But I guess we will see what Ms. Steele got up her sleeves.

"Is Ms. Steele here yet?" I ask Andrea in the intercom.

"uhmm…She was here" Shit, did she leave? Did I scare her? No, please tell me she didn't leave. "She asked were the ladies room where and said she will be back in a minute" I release a breath I didn't realize I was holding. I let my head drop back and close my eyes. I need every bit of control for this meeting. If I go nuclear on her, she may run away. If I go crazy on her and bend her over my desk for a spank and a fuck, she will knee me in the nuts and then she will run away. I see myself screwed either way. I do something I never thought I will. I get up and open the upper drawer of the wooden chest beside my desk. I pull a cigar from the ones I keep for If my dad or another smoker businessman comes to my office. I don't smoke, I personally believe it is a nasty habit but…well, desperate times and all that crap.

I storm out of my office and notice that Ms. Steele is still nowhere in sight. Even after I come back from my smoke she is not here. I walk straight back to my office before Andrea can stop me. I think I hear her saying something but I am not in the mood. I hear voices when I enter my office, coming from behind my desk. _What the hell… _ I walk around my desk in caution to find nothing but one fantastic ass in a blue skirt. _What… _I watch stunned as the owner of that ass crawl from under my desk and it is no one but the infamous Ms. Anastasia Steele. She freezes when she sees me, sitting on her heels. _Fuck me! She is in the perfect submissive stance! _My dick twitches. She finally looks up at me slowly her big blue eyes comes in view and I am like a cobra under its master's spell. I can't look away from her. She does look away, thank god for that.

"Ms. Steele" I say finally finding my voice and extending my hand to help her up. I don't know if I can control myself if she stays one more second in this position. She doesn't take my hand. Instead, she uses the desk to support herself to her feet. Making a point already, Little Miss Independent! The sudden move brings her closer to me, so close I can smell her. She smells like wild roses and orchids. I have the sudden desire to burry nose in her hair and…_what…_

"I dropped my cell, can't find it" She screws up her nose in what looks like disgust and she takes a step back from me. Do I stink or something? I remember the cigar I just had…oh, yeah about that…I suddenly feel the need to explain myself to her. To tell her that I don't smoke and today was an exception. _Get a grip, Grey. Since when do you have to explain your actions to people?! _I don't like the effect this girl is having on me, not one bit.

"Oh, have you tried to, you know, pick up that phone and dial it? You will hear or feel the vibration for sure" I am being a snarky bastard and I know it. But my previous frustration combined with my frustration by the weird _feelings _she seems to provoke in me, caused me to somehow develop a new defense mechanism built mainly on sarcasm and being dick. I do my best to turn it off as I watch her pick up the phone and dial her number. She sounds kinda of pissed and it looks good on her I must say. A minute later the shocking beat of the infamous song SexyBack by some singer named Justin something I think. My eyes widen at the daring song as the guy sings about shackles and whips. _How convenient! _I see her checks turn a lovely shade of pink and I wonder about all the spots I can turn pink of her delectable skin._ Focus, Grey! _I feel the vibration of the phone near my feet and look down to see it just beside me. She quickly realizes the situation she just put herself in and slams the phone down making her cell go silent again. I bend down to pick up the phone and I can hear her heels hitting the floor as she races to me. "First rule about being a professional, Ms. Steele. Make sure your phone is silent or turned off" I turns the phone into silence mood before I look up at her. She looks truly pissed right now, I mean like red-face-daggers-flying-of-her-blue-eyes kind of pissed. In short, she looks magnificent!

"A, it is even more unprofessional to go through people's private things without permission. I consider that a great invasion of privacy which I can't tolerant" She snitches the phone from my hand. Boy, she is fast. I jump back on my feet not liking the disadvantage of being the one on his knees this time. _Or maybe I do…just a little…Grey! _"B, the meeting didn't start yet" She spits out.

"The meeting started the moment I walked into the room, Ms. Steele" I reply placing my hand on my pocket looking cool and collected like I prefer to be. I can practically hear her screaming telepathically at me _'arrogant son of a bitch'. _Oh, baby you have seen nothing.

"Unannounced and may I say fashionably late as well, Mr. Grey" She shoots back. A tough cookie she is, isn't she? Oh, how I would love to test your limits, Ms. Steele. She has a smart mouth on her that I would like to fuck but right now I just need to put her in her place.

"Last time checked that is my own office. Hell, it is my own damn company I can arrive whenever and wherever I well damn please. Seriously, Ms. Steele. Do you have any experience in work field or did you charm Rose into choosing a fresh college kid over more qualified people?" I am being an asshole and I know it but she does look like a fresh college kid. She can't be older than twenty-two. "Whoever let you in my office anyway?" I step closer to her, mainly to intimidate her a little. She is a good half foot shorter than me, even in her high heels. She doesn't seem that affected by this though. She looks insulted and I realize that I did just insult her. Sounds fair. She keeps staring up at me, her blue eyes stormy and fascinating. I don't back down from her gaze. Our little stare contest is interrupted by Rose.

"Easy on the poor girl, Grey" What is it with people entering my office without permission today? "I let her in and told her to wait for you" Anastasia gives her what looks like a reassuring 'thanks but I got this' smile. Well, show me what you have got, Ms. Steele.

"Yes, Mr. grey I happened to have experience as I was working a month ago as the PA of the CEO of SIP, Mr. James. You may have heard of him. It is all in my CV which of course being the professional you are, you must have read it before meeting me" Fuck, I was so busy fantasizing about her last night and forgot to read her actual CV. _This isn't me! Since when is my head not the game like this?_

"It's a golden recommendation, Grey" Roses pops up giving me another copy of Ms. Steele's CV and I resist the need to tell her to shut up. I open the file trying to look as bored as I can.

"Interesting" I play it off. "Also I am more interested on why you would leave such a decent position for a risky internship" If James liked her, he wouldn't let her go. He doesn't believe in the 'Fresh blood' theory some CEO believes in.

"I quit because I got promoted" I am sure she reads the shock on our faces because she sighs. "Can we sit down or is this some sort of stain test?" Oh, the smart mouth. What I would like to do that smart mouth. The three of us take seats. So apparently, Rose is staying. I don't know if she feels the need to protect Ms. Steele from me or the other way around. Anastasia starts explaining how she doesn't want to keep working in publishing even though her other major beside business is English Literature. I keep my face impassive, running my fingers over my lips, studying her closer. Even though I am amazed by her intelligence, my eyes keeps drafting to her chest. Her creamy blouse I almost a see-though. Fuck, I can see her bra from where I am sitting! If she was mine, she wouldn't have been able to sit for a week for wearing something like this! _But she is not yours, remember?_ I shake off my not so appropriate thoughts about my new intern and keep listening to her talking about her plans for her future. I am impressed and a little..awed by her but I don't show any of it. Although there is something nagging me in her whole plan to climb the dangerous cliff of the business world.

"So my understanding is that you don't plan on staying here for long?" She gives me the 'What are you playing at?' eye narrowing, I just smirk at her.

"Yes" Is her straight answer. That is what I thought.

"That is quiet disappointing, Ms. Steele. Commitment is a very important thing in GEH" I can't have her growing into something bigger and more brilliant just to lose her in the end like what happened with Rose.

"Well, I didn't say I am leaving after a month or something, did i?" She smiles but it is not a nice smile. It is a 'are you being stupid or what?' smile and I feel my palm twitching. Beautiful brilliant smart-ass! "My understanding is that _IF_ I was offered the job after the monthy internship, it will be a time limited contract for a period agreed upon from both parties, or do you expect your employees to work for you till 'death do you apart'?" She makes air quotes motions. Sassy little thing she is. "I must say if that is the case, it is quite unrealistic" Calm the fuck down, Grey. Don't let her win this! _Wait a second, when did this become a competition?! She is no match to me, she is just a fucking intern, Dammit!_

"I admire and understand your ambition. But don't you think you are a little too young for that?"

"On the country, Mr. grey. I am twenty-four. I have been in the business for more than three years. It is all written in my VC with official documents" Boy, this woman is good. She recognizes my error immediately and doesn't hesitate to use it to twist my arm. "I'd like you to know that I have done my homework" Her tone suggests a 'unlike you' even without saying the exact words and I feel my recently gained control slipping again. "You are twenty-eight yourself. You started GEH at the young age of twenty-one after dropping off Harvard" Fuck, Yes people know that about me but no one has ever dared to rub in my face that I am a drop off from Harvard. Oh, Ms. Steele, you are either very stupid or very brave, probably both. She doesn't stop at that."And yet you managed to achieve such an impressive success at a young age. You don't think I may have at least half your luck?" Oh, baby. I don't do 'luck'.

"I don't need luck, Ms. Steele" My voice is cold and distant. "Only losers wait for luck to knock on their door. I take what I want. I work hard to get it if needed" Is it a flash of respect I see in her eyes or am I seeing things?

"Well, I will have you know that I intend to put as much of hard work in my career" Her smile is genuine this time. She is so painfully beautiful. It almost hurt to be a few feet away from her and not being able to touch her. This is getting out of hand. I need to get over my little crash on her. She is brilliant, which is another attractive trait I have never bothered to appreciate in women, at least not in that way, not the sexy-brains way. Aside from that, she could be the perfect replacement for Rose, mainly because she doesn't seem to put up with my shit. I can find a sub anywhere who can meet my needs but I can't find a replacement for Rose's position that easily. So if I have to choose, I will certainly choose the later, Even though it will put my self-control in test.

"We will see about that" I stand up buttoning my jacket. "I am done here. That took much of my time than it requires. The internship of both is confirmed, Rose. Also I am not so sure now that a mouth will be enough to get them ready, if ever" I throw some bullshit before I turn to leave. That Parker kid may need sharpening up but Ms. Steele needs to stop testing my temper. She must learn that it can't end well for her.

"Whoever pissed in his cookies jar?" I almost fucking stumble when I hear her whisper followed by Rose's chuckle. She thinks I didn't hear her but I did.

I hope you are fast learner, Ms. Steele. There is so much I can take before I bend you over this desk and fuck you until you can't see straight.

**Keep dreaming, buddy!**

**Long chapter, huh? I just couldn't cut their meeting before it is over. How was it? I am shaking in my boots more than Adam did!**

**So Christian decided to end his crash, let's see how long this is going to last for him, huh?**

**Reviews are love ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

**WE PASSED ONE HUNDERD FOLLOWERS!**

**That is just fucking awesome, guys! Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**A/N: Christian isn't dropping the Elena thing, he wants her behind bars too. But he simply can do nothing about it even if he consider exposing their history *As explained in last chapter* But he didn't give up, though. Welch is on it!**

**APOV:**

This is day three at GEH and I think I am just beginning to grasp the true nature of this company. It may seem like a multi-podia company with different investments and connections and in some way it is. But it isn't just that. Techno-Industries are the main and most obvious projects and it is quiet smart since it is the industry of the future, the backyard that can never be sterile. But they don't stop at that. GEH builds…building, markets, boats, you name it. Grey seems to have a passion for creation _Maybe he thinks he is a god or something_. Put all that crap aside, let me tell you the real player here, the mommy that breeds the green shiny kids, the real stuff is all about cut-throat business. They spot the sinking business no matter what it may be, and snitch it right before it disappears in the bottom of the ocean and buy it by half its worth. Heartless? Maybe. But it makes Grey the proud owner of all different kinds of investments all over the state, security companies, night clubs, publishing houses…etc.

I see Grey as a guy who has the talent to see the potential in things people already gave up on. But it is just one factor of who he is. He also knows his people. He must be a great judge of the character to be able to select and place the right people in the right places. The last and most difficult factor is being in total and constant control of all this beautiful organized mess.

He is such a brilliant control-freak who happens to be a fucking asshole.

So we get, A, Seeing the hidden potential in business. B, seeing the hidden potential in people and use it to the absolute maximum capacity. C, Being an obsessive control freak.

That shouldn't be hard steps to follow. You must know by now that I am not here to stay. After my little encounter with Mr. Grey in my first day at work, I have absolutely no desire to work under the mercy of this man. I refuse by any mean to be one of his puppies he can have shaking in their boots upon his tiniest request. I have a great and long lived rule, It is a Good boss or a No boss, No boss is better than An Asshole of a boss. So much better.

It is not like I am desperate for a paycheck. My inheritances from my dead birth dad's family has me all covered and good, Which means if I decided to stay home and read books for a year it won't be that big of a problem. So I think it is safe to say I work mainly to gain more experience before starting my own business. The thing is, I still don't know exactly what I want, where to start. What I do know is that I want this world. I want the rush that comes with it, the control, the power and the ability to actually create a difference in people's life, to create a fair work environment where people are only valued by their hard work, to give those who want to work a chance. That is a part selfish, part noble dream to have but I have learned to live with it.

Which brings me back to the enigma of Grey.

"Ana, Here is your tea" Olivia cuts through my deep subconscious placing a hot cup of my special English tea. I have given her a packet from it yesterday because I couldn't go on a day at work without it.

"Thank you, Olivia. You are an angel" I take the cup with a grateful smile and she blushes and walks away. Olivia is a sweet girl just like I thought she was when I first met her, when Grey Dick made her cry because of a freaking cup of coffee. My blood boils with hate every time I remember his lack of mercy. Don't get me wrong, he is a brilliant businessman but his persona is the opposite of nice. And I can totally separate my admiration of his achievements from my loathing of his poor people skills. I haven't had a close encounter with him for those last three days but I have been watching him closely. He proves that a person could be polite but nowhere near nice. He didn't lose his temper again like my first day at her but he wasn't a cuddly teddy bear either. Let's just say that the words 'Please' and 'Thank you' and of course 'Sorry' don't exist in the Grey dictionary.

"Hey, Ana. Are you done with this paperwork yet? The meeting starts in an hour" Rose says coming out of her office.

"Just a few minutes" I say with my fingers still flying through my keyboard. She had me reviewing and re-phrasing some paperwork. It is a secretary work and I know it. But it is still work and I am not putting it beneath me. I agreed to an internship so I need to be more flexible to fit in, more humble as well.

"Good. Bring it in when you are done" and she walks right into Grey's office. My hands freeze for a moment. Shit! Does that mean I will have to actually talk to him again? _Don't be a chicken!_

I shake it off and continue to do my work. Just when I am done, fifteen minutes later, Adam pops up from his desk when he sees me standing up.

"You are going in?" He raises his eyebrows.

"I told you. I am not afraid of bullies, As long as I can punch them in the face" The sweaty palms I am rubbing against my skirt is actually sweaty due to an hour of writing on computer. Trust me, pinky swear! I hear my phone vibrate with an upcoming text but decide to check it after delivering the papers to Rose.

"You better stop saying stuff like that if you don't want him to hear you" He smirks.

"Maybe he should. It would serve him right" I gather the paperwork and start heading to Grey's office.

"Ms. Steele. Do you fear death?" Adam says in his best 'Davy Jones' voice. I can't help the laughter escaping me and as I pass Andrea I see her laughing as well. I think she has a little crush on Adam but I am not sure. Can't blame her, though. The boy is cute. I mean Dylan O'Brien kind of cute. He also managed to make more connections in those past three days than I did. Because while Adam is focused on fitting and blending in GEH, my focus is at the head of the snake AKA The gray eyed asshole whose head snaps up when I knock and enter his office. He is sitting on a leather chair looking like a king on his throne while Rose is on the leather coach beside it and lots of paper on the coffee table between them which they seem to have been focused on before I came in. I ignore Grey's gaze on me and focus on Rose instead. _I am here for Rose._

"The papers are ready" I handle them to her.

"Thanks, Ana" She gives me a sweet smile which I return. Grey snitches the paper angrily from her hands clearly annoyed by not being the centre of attention. Men! I snore mentally. All men are children, they never grow up. No matter how powerful and successful they become, they just remains children inside.

"You have her doing secretary work?" He mocks and even though I know that fact I still feel insulted by it. I turn to him and try not to glare or narrow my eyes.

"I am letting her learn more about our connections, our course of work and the fields we invest in" Rose offers a good save. Grey just snores and turns to meet my eyes.

"Come to me if you want to learn a thing or two about this place" surprisingly he sounds sincere.

"Thank you" I say shortly with a small nod and a tiny smile. He doesn't know that I don't need to be in his delightful company to learn things about him. I am a long-distance observer and that is how I prefer to be till this internship is over.

At 7 PM, I am home and curled in my bed with my book when I hear the door ball. Huffing, I pull myself up and go to open the door to find Emma dressed in a sexy dark red dress that goes perfectly with her raven black hair. She eyes me up and down with her mouth hanging open. I look down at myself. I am wearing my favorite blue PJs. I don't see anything wrong with what I am wearing but the look in Emma's face begs to differ.

"Are freaking kidding me?" She finally says.

"What is wrong, Emma?" I roll my eyes.

"You didn't see my text?"

"What text?" I frown but she just walks past me and into my apartment. Well, please do come in.

"I sent you a text in the morning, you didn't see it?" I grape my phone and check it for unread message and actually find one from Emma.

***Just got a five invites for Glee's reopening. Get dolled up by seven we are going clubbing! PS: I already told Jose and he is in***

"Fuck, I didn't see that"

"Fine" Emma sighs. "I forgive you" She starts pulling me to my bedroom. "Now we got fifteen minutes to doll you up before the guys are here" She opens my closet already looking through my dresses. With a sigh I give up, you can't stop Emma when she is up for a challenge and getting me ready in fifteen minutes is a challenge.

Before I know it, I am dressed in my navy lace dress and being dragged to a limo. My jaw drops when the backseat door open and I see Jose, Kevin and David inside.

"Guys, what the…" My question is cut by the sound of the bottle of champagne Jose pops open.

"Congrats on your new job!" They declare and I am telling you, I spend the whole ride to Glee trying to convince them that it isn't a job, it is just an internship but once these fuckers set their minds on something there is no changing it! So I give and go with it. _Just try to be fucking grateful, Steele!_

"So how did you get those invitations anyway?" I ask ten minutes after we settled in a booth and ordered our drinks. The place is crowded as fuck and even though I am not that much of a 'clubbing' person I can see the appeal. The decoration is stylish yet inviting, the dance floor is magical, and the drinks are the best I have ever had so I am guessing expensive as hell but it is all free tonight because it is the reopening night and all the people here are invited.

"My new client" Emma replies screwing her nose in her universal tell when she is talking about someone she doesn't like. "Surprisingly since we don't really get along" Told ya! "She is the snob of snobs. I swear if she puts her nose any higher she will be suffocated by her fake blond hair" I chock in my gin and tonic laughing my ass off. The guys crack up as well.

"So why do you have to work with her?" Kevin asks.

"The money they are paying me is really too good to pass by and she has put probably more money in this wedding more than Kate and Charles!" We all chuckle.

"Alright, I am off to sniff some new meat" David announces proudly before standing to leave followed by groans and snores from the group.

"So, Ana. Do tell. How is working with Christian Grey?" Emma's eyes get all brighty and excited.

"I am not actually working with Grey. More with his second in command, Rose. She is really nice and friendly" They seem disappointed. Well, I am not!

"Yeah but you sure bump into Grey from now to then, right?" Kevin wiggles his eyebrows at the word 'bump'. No way, buddy.

"Well, I hate to poop on your sandy tower but I don't really like the guy" I say rubbing my hand over my arm.

"What?" and "Are you kidding?" are the words Kevin and Emma manage to say.

"Hey, Easy on my girl here" Jose comes to my defense putting his arm over my shoulder, pulling me closer to him and placing a gentle kiss on my temple. I turn to give him a grateful smile which he returns. "You don't know the guy in personal. Maybe he is really an asshole" True words! Kevin and Emma turn to me for confirmation.

"For starters, he smokes. You know how I feel about smokers" They nod in understanding. Well, they don't really know how I feel about smokers. What they know is that I believe smokers are weak-willed people who rely on a false thing to make them calmer which is true, I really do believe that. But it isn't all. The actual truth is that the first thing I smell in my nightmares is a mix of cigarettes and cheap booze. And even though what Grey must have smoked was a cigar _I know the difference_ it is still close and I nearly vomited when I smelled it. It would have been super comical if I would have vomited all over his designed suit!

"I will go get us some more drinks" Jose announces and I didn't even realize that I have finished my drink. _God, Even thinking about this guy is consuming! _

"Hey Gorgeous. Wanna dance?" A hot blonde guy appears out of nowhere and extends his hand to Emma. She giggles and puts her hand in his letting him drag her to the dance floor without giving us a second glance. _Typical Emma! _

"Hey Gorgeous. Wanna dance?" Kevin stands up imitating Blondie with his hand extended to me and I do my part imitating Emma and letting him take me to the dance floor. Just for my luck the song Whine up by Kat Deluna starts once we get there and Kevin wastes no time pulling me to him as we go all 'sexy' on each other. I giggle as we move and let go, letting the music possess me whole. I will admit that if my friend wasn't actually 'gay' I would have never dared to be that relaxed and free around him. Suddenly and like the son of a bitch hears me, I feel David putting his arms around me from behind. I turn around and push him punching his chest but I am still giggling. By now I am actually used to David's flirty nature and I know that he already gave up on getting into my panties when I blow him off years ago. But harmless flirting is good and harmless so I let him twirl me around the dance floor a little. Truth be told, the man can dance. There is something about black people, it is like dance comes natural to them. In short, I am jealous as fuck. I love dancing and it took me a few classes to be presentable enough to actually dance without making a fool of myself. Finally he places his hands firmly on my waist and pulls me up in the air spinning me around. I throw my head back and laugh as he finally lets me down. We all head back to the booth to find an awkward looking Jose with Emma. What is up with that?

"Hey, Emma, where is Mister Blondie?" I say as I pick my drink feeling thirsty. Jose waves his hand over his throat in the universal motion to 'Cut it' I frown and look down at Emma. Oh, shit. She doesn't look happy.

"Tell me, girl. What did this son of a bitch do? Tell me and I will kick him in his family jewels so hard they will pop back up into his belly" Knowing me, I would do it. They also know I will because you can't miss the look of sympathy on the guys face just because they share the same anatomy as Blondie.

"He didn't actually 'do' anything. His fiancée did" Now that is weird. "She crashed on us while we were dancing and gave me the 'Bitch,He is mine' glare. But you know what is worse?" What could be worse than being the bitch in the situation? "His fiancée is no one but my new lovely client!" She announces in fake enthusiasm throwing her drink down her throat in one gulp.

"This isn't your fault! He should know better than to flirt with you if he is engaged!" I burst out.

"Whatever" She looks down and I look around spotting Blondie with a girl who matches the description Emma said minutes ago. "Now not only am I the 'Bitch'. She will sure cancel the contact and find a new wedding planner"

"Why would she do that?" Jose asks.

"Oh, come on, Jose. Not that me and Mr. Charming will ruun off into the sunset but no bride wants to live 'The wedding planner' movie" Oh, God bless you, Jennifer Lopez. My eyes are still on the not-so golden couple and I watch Blondie groveling to his angry bride. The song Te Amo by Rihanna cuts into my subconscious and suddenly an idea pops into my head and I jump up pulling Emma with me.

"What do you think? Wanna give the Mr and the Mrs something to spin their tiny heads a little?" I ask wiggling my eyebrows deviously.

"Ana, what are you saying?"

"I am saying plan Alt" I wink and she gasps and blushes when she realizes my meaning. It was two years ago when we got stuck in one those parties with too much guys and we both didn't like the attention so we came up with plan Alt. and all guys kept their distance. "Wanna get freaky with me?"

"Hell yeah. Let's go lesbo!"

We giggle deviously and head to the dance floor. We gave it our best shot, dancing, grinding, flirty eyes at each other and sneaky touches. We were a hair shy from going full power and making out right on the dance floor. Once the song comes to an end, I glance at the targets.

Mission accomplished!

"Oh, my. Have you seen their faces?" Emma says between laughter as we head back to our table. Oh, yeah, I have. I look at our guys and they look in no better shape. Their eyes are wide as hell and their jaws are on the floor.

"Have you seen _their _faces?" I point at Kevin, David and Jose. Emma's laughter renews and I join her in.

"Where the hell did that come from?" Kevin, who seems the first to recover, mutters out. I look at Emma as she wipes tears from the corner of her eyes.

Mission accomplished alright!

**CPOV:**

For the past three days I have managed to avoid any close contact with Anastasia. The temptation is always there, though. Since her desk is right down the hall I pass in my way to my office. But avoiding her doesn't mean I didn't sneak some glances at her when I could. I noticed a few things about her, like how she knocks off her heels in the afternoon hours, how she tends to have headphones on like a teenager, how she goes for tea instead of coffee, English tea, bag off. I saw her giving Olivia a packet of English tea and I made a mental note to make sure there is some of it in the coffee room. What?! It is only fair, right? Why do coffee people get to have their coffee paid for by the company and English tea people have to pay for their tea? I am not racist! _Who are fooling, Grey? You are not even making any sense now!_

Anyway! I consider it a great success and a true prove of will-power and I am honestly impressed with my self-control to avoid the temptation of starting any kind of conversation with her. That was until she walked right into my door wearing these sexy librarian glasses. I was surprised by how much I have missed her. I mean what the hell, she is right down the hall. But what I missed is being close to her, within talking distance. So you can imagine my annoyance when she ignored my presence completely focusing on Rose instead. I snitched the papers off Rose's hands and was even more annoyed to see that she was doing secretary stuff. You don't waste someone of degree's time on this shit. I told her to come to me if she wants to learn and I truly meant it. All confusing and arousing thoughts aside, I actually want to help be. First, she stares at me like I have grown an extra head then she gives me a grateful nod, a thank you, and a small smile. For some reason I feel an invisible muscle in my body relax. I swear that is the nicest she has ever been to me in the past three days.

So here I am back in Escala and doing my new hobby, trying to figure out Ms. Steele. My quite thought are interrupted by the annoying tone of my big brother.

"Hey, Bro. You called, I came. I am easy like this" He declares his arrival dropping on the couch across from me and popping his dirty boots on my coffee table with a cocky grin on his smug face.

"Hey, Douche. Feet down!" He groans but thankfully obeys.

"Man, you are even worse than mom. Speaking of, she wants to see. Said she hasn't seen your pretty face for weeks. What the hell, bro?"

"I have been busy. I will drop off soon and make it up to her" Yeah, laugh all you want. I am a mommy boy. She is my angel, always has been. I can't take it if she is upset with me.

"Good" He grins wolfishly. "Now let's go. I bet the club is already crowded" Let's hope so.

I bought Glee a week ago when his previous owner decided to move his investments to Europe. It is not my first club to own but it is the biggest one. So I made sure to see the place myself and order a few changes. Tonight is the reopening and I am only going to make sure they did what I wanted. I am a control freak like this. Okay, I maybe a little nervous about things going as expected. Truth is, I don't really like clubs but it is still one of the best gold mines. So I dragged my brother with me because he's always good at redirected the unwanted female attention my pretty face seems to attract. He is not so sad about it, though.

"How is the wedding plans going?" I ask not because I am interested or anything but mainly to distract myself. My brother announced his engagement to the sweet Ms. Katherine Kavanagh a few days ago . Yeah, you guessed right, we don't really get along. There is just something about her that rubs me the wrong way. Aside from her being a journalist and let me tell you, I just _hate _journalists. They are nosy and annoying and lives for people's drama. Are they even human? _Oh, But you are. Aren't you, Grey?_

So I think it is safe to say I wasn't too thrilled by this engagement. Personally I think my brother is being his impulsive self, I mean they have only been together for less than three week and then boom Elliot pops the question and she of course says yes. It just doesn't set right with me but who am I to judge, right?

"I don't know shit, man. She keeps talking about that stuff but I don't really listen. You know how girls can be about that staff…Oh, wait. No, you don't" He is nagging me again about this 'gay' thing. Yeah, my family and probably half Seattle think I am gay. I don't bother correcting them, mainly because it keeps everyone including my loving family from questioning my love life…or the lack of it.

So I stay silent and let Elliot eats his words. We enter the club and I let out a sigh of relief I didn't know I was holding. The place is stocked, thank fuck for that! Also the crowd is going freaking wild and it is still 8 PM. I glance at Elliot and grin but he is busy checking the crowd for babes. I turn and take a look myself, my eyes pass over the sweaty drunk bodies and I can't for the life of me get what people like about clubs. I look back at Elliot and I have my answer. For people like him, this place is like a candy store for a little kid, pardon me. I turn my gaze to the crowd one last time and my eyes widen at the last fucking thing I have expected to see tonight. Ms. Steele, sitting in a booth with four people laughing her heart out with her head thrown back and her long brown hair dancing over her back. _Fuck me, I am just gonna say it because that is what happens_. For a moment, the whole world seems to slow down, even the load music is the club tunes down and I am staring memorized by the sight before me. I have never seen her like this! She always has her hair up in a ponytail or a messy pin that only women know its secret. But now I finally see her hair in full display, it is silky, thick, shiny and long. It reaches her lower back and I am suddenly haunted by the image of her ridding my cock with her head thrown back, her face is an artwork of passion and ecstasy, the ends of her long locks are slightly brushing her magnificent ass with each thrust. I am pulled from my erotic fantasy by none but the voice of my ass of brother.

"Good eye, bro. Dibs on the black raven and I bet my sweet ass this guy in the blue shirt is gay. Go for it" I almost growl at him and turn my attention back to the subject of my fantasy. When I look back at them, I notice a shift in the air. Anastasia looks a little uncomfortable all of the sudden. The guy beside her puts his arm around her shoulder and pulls her closer to him. Fucker! I feel the dinner I just ate threatening to find its way back up. He runs his hand up and down her bare arm…touching her. My nails dig on my palms as I clinch my fists. I want to pry his hands off her. I want to rip every single finger from its knuckle until he is not touching her anymore. He kisses her head lightly and she turns around to give him a sweet smile which he returns. I seriously want to punch this stupid smile right off his fucking stupid face. She is looking at him like he is some precious creature but I honestly can't share the same fascination. Her smile is so genuine. I don't think I have ever seen her smile like this. I feel sick by the thought that this guy can provoke such a smile from her while all I have ever managed so far is a death glare. I don't know what it is I am feeling and I don't think I want to know.

I shake my head to clear it. Dammit, I am losing it again! Why does she have to be here?! Just my damned luck, I guess. I leave Elliot to roam as he pleases and head up to the VIP room. I need to meet this manager just so I can leave this place before I commit a crime.

Told ya, I hate clubs.

"Mr. Grey. Mrs. Nelson will be shortly with you. Would you like something to drink?" The hostess says with a polished smile.

"Just water will be fine" Alcohol won't help my case. I need to be as sharp as I can to maintain some much needed control over myself. I take a seat. Of course, the VIP room has a great view of the dance floor. I scan the space expecting to see Elliot somewhere making a fool of himself and true to his words, he hooked the black raven. Just before turning my head, my eyes catche a glimpse of pale skin and bright blue eyes. And I see her again. She is dancing her sexy ass like her life depends on it. Her body moves with the music like a creature made especially for the art of seduction, the hum of her navy dress raises with each move exposing more of her creamy thighs. If I wasn't hard before, I am sure hard as fuck right now. I close my eyes and fight my arousal away knowing that I won't get any relief. I open my eyes again and she is still dancing with this fucker. Surprisingly, it is not the man she was making googly eyes with minutes ago, it is the one Elliot thought was gay. Well, I don't know what you may call it, but that doesn't look like gay to me…at all. He has his hands all over her and she doesn't seem to mind. In fact, she looks quiet too comfortable for my taste. _How cozy! _Suddenly another guy grapes her from behind and I almost blot out of my chair to tend to her rescue but she just turns push him away…playfully giggling and actually let him twirl her around.

Fuck, I need to get a fucking grip!

_Yes, a grip of Ms. Steele to pull her out of this place where guys seems to think it is okay to touch her as they fucking please and drag her to my playroom to give her the punishment of her fucking life and fuck her until she doesn't bear any other man's touch, only mine! _

The fucker carries her up by her tiny waist and spins her around. She looks so…happy, so comfortable. She is never like this with me. I want her to be like this with me! Is it what jealousy is like? It better not be! I am Christian fucking Grey, I don't do jealous and especially not over a girl. Also I think it is safe to say that Anastasia is no ordinary girl. No woman has ever managed to make my head spin like the incredible Miss Steele. I can't keep count of all her different sides. Shit, I can't for the ever loving life of me figure this one out. Who the hell are you? The sad broken girl in the white dress passing my life like an angel, the innocent girl who is cheered up by a freaking lollipop no more, the up-tight professional and quiet brilliant woman, the bitch with the smart mouth or the free sex goddess dancing before me with no much as a care in the world. She has managed to surprise the hell out of me at every turn. I don't think I can be surprised by anything she does anymore.

_Wrong! _

My eyes nearly jump out of my skull when I see Ms. Steele and The 'black raven' dance their way into the centre of the dance floor. I watch unblinking as the two put on quiet the show. I think all the guys on the club must have wet their pants and drooled over their shirt. Personally I don't see the men fascination with witnessing a girl on girl action. All I feel during this show is the same sickening feel I got when she was dancing with the other guys. Fuck, is she a lesbian? From the way she was with the guys she is not but I am witnessing with my own fucking eyes as she gives black raven 'Fuck me' eyes and stocks her arms suggestively! I can almost feel my head spinning now. Maybe she is bi? Yeah, because one gender isn't enough?

Fuck I need to know more about her. I have read her CV and her background check but it is still not fucking enough. For once in my life, my interest in knowing someone goes beyond hard and soft limits, beyond anything that could be written in a piece of paper. I want to know her to the point of knowledge I can't explain if asked to describe. I want to know about her things she doesn't even know herself. I want to search her subconscious for her demons and fight every single one of them. I want to find her darkness and own, to find her light and bath in it. I want to lose myself in her, to figure an understanding of the complex and mixed knots inside of me. I want to lose myself until I find who I am.

I know realize that this far distance stalking tactics won't serve me that purpose. I need to talk to her. I make a decision to initiate a conversation with Anastasia tomorrow morning.

Sure talking can't be that hard, right? 

**We will see about that, Grey!**

**Reviews are love ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Olive: I really love and appreciate the fact that you are trying not to offend me. you are so sweet. And I personally don't have a problem with Kate, at all. I don't think she is a bitch and she won't be the bad guy in my story, I can assure you! She simply doesn't fit right in the Ana puzzle I am trying to create. She is strong and stubborn and a protective loyal friend. She also tends to put her 'pussy' on the line when it comes to guys. Emma on the other hand tends to put her 'heart' on the line which gets her in a lot of trouble as the story will show later. I promise there will be drama but not too much drama! Thanks for being so sweet and I hope i answered you right ;)**

**APOV: **

So last night was a blast! David bailed early on us with some chick, no news, and the rest of us ended up drunk as a skunk. The last thing I remember was Jose dragging me to the bed and tucking me in, God bless his self-control. They guy has a three drinks limit rule that he would break his leg before he breaks it. Now it is 10 Am, I am on my desk and there is an army of tiny elves playing basketball in my head. Yeah, hangovers could be a real bitch but you still let yourself get drunk, right? That is what makes us human anyway. We do the same mistake over and over again even though we know the net result. Maybe somewhere in our little brains we think we will get different results. I mean Edison didn't light this blub from his first try, did he? I shouldn't let myself think when I am hanged over, yeah I know.

I have already consumed the allowed amount of Advil a human can take in one hour and now I am in my third coffee for the day and there is a reason why I don't drink coffee very often. They make me super cranky. To top it, I think I am nearing my period as well because If I could draw a circle around me and put a 'Don't come near or it's your funeral' sign on it, I would. Just to save human race from my bad mood.

"Long night?" And here comes the last fucking person in the world I am ready to deal with right now.

"Not today, Mr. Grey" I say without looking up. Please just fuck off now.

"Excuse me?" His tone is surprised, shocked and offended. Oh, did I hurt your little ego, princess? I am sorry! I should have looked up earlier, his expression must have been hilarious but the bastard is always fast to hide his shock.

"I am sorry did I pronounce it wrong?" I title my head to the side. I am sitting on my desk and he is towering over me with his hand in his pocket, looking down at me like a king looking down at one of his peasants. He is pissing me off so here comes the smart mouth. "I said 'Not. Today'" I say it slowly to carve it good into his thick skull. "Is that concept unfamiliar to you?" I can't help rolling my eyes at him. I am fully aware that he is my boss and I shouldn't talk to him like that but there is something about this man that provokes that side of me. He is just so cocky. He thinks the whole world should be at his beck and call. Like he is a master of his universe.

My reaction to his likes is to put them in their place just because it is so fucking irritant. With him, it is different. I actually enjoy going head to head with him, even though I would never admit it. It…thrill me, excites me even. I almost forgot about my hangover.

"I see" He presses his lips in a thin line and seem like he wants to say more but he doesn't. "You seem in quiet the mood" aren't you a smart cookie? "Perhaps you should learn to not have so much to drink on a work night" For a moment I am speechless, how did he know that?

"And how did you figure out that I had much to drink last night?" I eye him suspiciously, is he stalking me or something?

"I recognize a hangover when I see one" Gee, way to tell a girl she looks like shit! _Now why do you care what he thinks you look like?_ I don't! _Obviously…_"Besides, you don't normally go for coffee. English tea, am I right?" I don't even think I want to know how he knows that about me. But a tiny part of me is thrilled that he cared to know.

"So either someone has been watching way too much Sherlock or you are officially stalking me. Great, fan-freaking-tastic" I roll my eyes so much and regret it immediately, Damn hangovers!

"Stop doing that" He orders with a frown. He Fucking orders, I am telling you.

"Doing what?" I roll my eyes, no idea what he means. Stop being a snarky bitch? Could be. Stop acting unprofessional? Perhaps I should.

"The eye rolling" He spits out. I raise my eyebrow, that is the last fucking thing I expected him to say.

"And why is that?" Really I am curious.

"Because it is childish and very rude" His frown deepens as he says it like it is the most obvious thing. So now he is officially scolding me, Great.

"Oh, I can see how such traits would be so alien to you" I nod repeatedly in a mocking understanding. His frown is still in place and he doesn't seem to get what I am saying. Come on, he is supposed to be a brilliant man! "You know the whole glass wall saying…" I stop mid-word because fuck me, this scary as shit. I bet some people wet their pants when they are in the receiving side of this gaze. Man, he looks mad. How many hours do I have left? Daddy, I love you. Mommy, I forgive you. God, forgive me I have sinned. Please I'd like to die quick and fast! _I must not look scared, I must not look scared. _I repeat internally over and over. He _stalks _over to me, slowly, so slowly. Yes, 'stalks' ,that is what he does, like a fucking predator, like one of those black tigers. Lethal and so fucking beautiful. It takes every shred of will-power to hold my ground and not back away. By now I really did wet my panties, and It is not pee. The motherfucker is sexy as hell and he is coming after me. looking like he will either kill me or fuck me, it wouldn't be such a bad death though, dying looking at those intense gray eyes. 

"Careful, Anastasia" My name rolls off his tongue like it is something sinful and forbidden. I have always hated how long my name is but now as I hear him saying it like it is the most erotic word has ever dared to say. If like he shouldn't call me this here, not at work, hell not even in public. His face is a few inches away from my face. I can smell him. He doesn't smell of cigar this time. He smells of aftershave and something else I can't name but it does things to my skin. "I can only be pushed for too far before I snap" his voice is different, seducing as hell but also intimidating. Something in me wants him to snap, wants to see him lose the control he holds so dear to him.

"Snap then, show me what you can do" The challenge leaves my mouth before I stop it. He takes a sharp intake of breath and his eyes turn a much darker shade of gray. I recognize the raw hunger in his gaze and it calls out to me like a siren. He is so close now we are almost touching. _Stay strong, Steele. You are winning this. Don't let him use your hormones against you._ Finally he eyes me up and down like I am some mystery he can't solve.

"Are you a lesbian, Anastasia?" What? Did I hear that right? Did he just…._motherfucker! _I close my eyes and count to ten taking two steps back to resist the temptation to knee him in the nuts, or kiss the hell out him to show him how lesbian I am. Or both. Perhaps both!

"What did you just ask me?" please let me have heard that wrong.

"It is a simple question. Are you a lesbian?" He repeats like he is talking about the weather and not questioning his intern's sexuality. I shake my head furiously not in an answer to his question but in disbelieve that he would ask me that.

"I can't believe you. Are you even for real?" He can't be serious, can he?

"A little homo curious perhaps, or maybe bi?" I can't even believe he is still talking. Why the hell would he ask me that? Is that some sort of sick threesome he wants to include me in? This is so fucking sick. I could sue his ass for this shit!

"That is highly unprofessional, Dammit" Fuck, it is getting worse. Is that what power does to people? Make them forget their boundaries? Forget that there are things that are really none of their fucking business? I need to leave, I need to go before I lose it and go bananas on him. "I told you before, I don't tolerant invasion of privacy, Mr. Grey" I say as calmly as I can manage before I turn to walk away.

"You still haven't answered my question, Ms. Steele" he calls after me making me stop in my tracks. Okay, he asked for it. I storm back to him in determined steps. I stop only when I am merely inches from his face. Even with my five inches heels he is still taller than me but I straighten my shoulders and look him straight in the eyes, bringing my face closer to his. I can't help my gaze drifting down to his lips for a second and I see a smug smirk forming. Huh, that would serve him right. I put on my most provoking face before I speak.

"Don't want to" I roll my eyes as hard as I can. "Don't have to" another hard eyeroll. "Not gonna" I can't hold back one last smug smile as I leave behind a stunned Grey.

**CPOV:**

I was wrong. Talking can be hard as fuck when it comes to Ms. Steele. She is the most frustrating woman I have ever met. No, scratch that. She is the most frustrating person I have even met and let me tell you I have met _a lot!_

She is defiant as hell! I can't even believe I once thought she could be a submissive. She is anything but a fucking submissive, that is for sure. She would die before she learns to do what she is told. Someone needs to tell her to tone down that smart mouth and the eye rolling of her or it is not going to end well for neither her nor her lovely behind. But most of all, She can't answer a fucking question. I mean how hard can it be to give a man a straight answer? Come on!

Fuck, and what the hell just happened? I was so ready to fuck her when she said _"Snap" _It is like she is playing guitar on the strings holding my control together. Hell, I could practically _smell _how much she wanted me to do just that. The scent of her anger mixed with her arousal is the most erotic scent I have ever smelled. I just needed to be sure. Why couldn't she answer the fucking question!

_"Not Today, Mr. Grey"_

My submissives are contacted to be at my beck and call, my employees know they can be called for work anytime even in holidays. So, yeah. No one ever dares to dismiss me like she almost did!

_"Is that concept unfamiliar to you?"_

Hell yeah, it is. I understand that she doesn't need money from this job. According to her background check, her inheritances could cover her for a good while if she chooses to quit working so I see how she might not care that I could fire her ass for taking this tone with me. But I am still her fucking boss and she needs to learn her boundaries. _You are the one talking about boundaries? you just asked the girl if she was a lesbian! _Well, it is understandable! I just saw her eye-fucking a girl last night! _So that gives you the right? How would you feel if she came up to you and asked you if you were gay, doesn't half Seattle believe that? _I wouldn't feel a fucking thing, I will just truly turn her pale ass pink if she does so and then fuck her to show her how gay I am!

_Right…_

I think it is safe to say my people skills are rusty. I tend to ask the wrong questions at the wrong times. Fuck me, I am not used to giving a fuck about people's feelings but Anastasia is no doormat. She will just push me away more if I continue to disrespect her 'feelings'.

Well, she gave me no choice. If she won't give me the information I need about her. I will get it my way. Just remember that I tried it the right way and she didn't let me. I pull my cell out and dial the number I know will give me the answers I seek.

"Welch"

"Yes, Mr. Grey"

"Anastasia Steele. She works her as a new intern" he starts to speak but I cut him off. "I need a back ground check on this one. I know you already did the norm background check days ago but this is different. I want to know all there is to be known about her. Every fucking thing. I want to know if she keeps a fucking teddy bear in her bed at night, if she failed chemistry once in fifth grade. I want to know her freaking shoe number"

"You mean level eight, Sir" The norm background check we do in every employee in Grey house is level five.

"Go Ten, Welch. Anything you can find"

"This might take a while, Sir"

"You got this weekend" I can't wait longer. I will go crazy.

"I..I need an extra day, Sir. Some facilities are impossible to reach in holidays" He seems sad to say that. I can see why, he has never denied me an order but then again, no order has been this urgent.

"I don't care. I will get what I asked for by Monday afternoon max or you are fired" I pay him enough to do the freaking mission impossible.

"Yes, Sir" I hang up and look up to see Taylor fixing me with a curious stare.

"What?" Well, I will be fucking damned, I just rolled my eyes!

Call a doctor! The Ana disease is infectious!

**Short chapter I know, sorry!**

**Something needs to be cleared up here. You need to know where each of our characters stands with his feelings toward the other.**

**Ana admires Christian's work. She thinks he is a genius and she aspires to be like him. However, she is not so fond of her personality. She believes he is an asshole of a person and a dick of a boss so she made the decision to leave after the internship is over.** **On the other hand, she enjoys tangling her horns with his ;) **

**Christian is clearly in the obsession stage. He is just like us, he doesn't simple 'like', he obsesses. He can't seem to stop thinking about Ana even though he can't understand what is the source of his obsession. He is confused that his obsession with her will end once he knows enough about her, like solving a puzzle. Boy, is he wrong! We can also see him experiencing 'Jealousy' for the first time in his life and understanding what this word means.**

**Needless to say, They have the hots for each other and they have it bad. I personally think they should fuck and make up but well…romance and drama and stuff.**

**End of rant!**

**PS: A KISS is certainly coming somewhere along the road so my question is, do you want the first kiss to be from Ana's or Christian's POV?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Olive: You don't have to thank me, love. Nice people like you trigger the nice side of me ;) I am glad my answer satisfied you.**

**Hettyblue: It is like you are living in my head, darling. I don't know how you it, though. It is quiet messy in there ;)**

**Here it comes…We are still in the same day btw!**

**CPOV:**

I stare at the broken man before me and wonder if I have made the right decision by not tell him that his son is being molested by a forty-year old domme. Fells looks like shit, truth be told. This divorce thing has made a number on him. _Love is for fools. _That is what _she _used to tell me. And the theory has proved itself day after day, I watch people suffering from this _disease. _Don't get me wrong, my parents are a happily married couple. I grew up in a house where love equals happiness, contentment…and peace. And that is why I strongly believe that even if love could be good for some people _also the possibility is small_ it can't be good for someone like me. The best thing I can aspire to have is some control and the fucked-up kind of contentment I normally find in my playroom which I haven't been in for months.

Back to the man sitting on the other side from my desk. His bad state confirms that my decision is right. I don't know this man personally and I don't know how he deals with his son. Even though he talks about him like he is his sun and stars, I am not sure he will be that smitten with him when he knows the truth. It is not the kid's fault but I don't know if his parents will have the same review as mine. I can't have them reacting badly and fucking up the boy even farther. This age is so dangerous. No one knows how a teenager brains work, not even the boy himself knows. So yeah, I better go on with my plan.

"I think this is enough for today" Fells says rubbing his hand over his face in exhaustion.

"Yeah, we will make another appointment in a few days. Our PAs will make the arrangements" I agree standing from behind my desk and walking over to him. He makes a move to stand but I put my hand on his shoulder making him sit again. He stares at me like I am an alien. Yup, I have an unspoken no-touch policy with my work associates, no more than a hand shake. Hey, I never said I was the friendliest person on earth!

"Are you alright? You look exhausted" I frown trying to paint the most concerned expression on my face. This feelings thing isn't really my thing but you know that already, right?

"Ah….It is just" He rubs his temples. "Divorce isn't as easy as people may think. Lots of paperwork, agreement and disagreement. It is messy to say the least" He is a chatty person by nature and that is exactly what I am counting on.

"Oh, I see" I nod in what I hope looks like understanding.

"She wants the kid and of course I think the boy should be with his mother but I want to be in his life, I am his father after all" Jackpot! Got him where I want him! "The thing is…It doesn't end well if I and she are in the same room together and I don't want that to affect the boy"

"Of course. He shouldn't be caught up in this" I lean closer to him with a frown. "His age is dangerous, anything could affect him. He shouldn't be involved, especially now. You know, when things are still so…raw…" I almost cheer when I see his eyes brighten with the famous 'this person gets me' light. Being through therapy for years has its perks. I think Flynn would be impressed!

"Exactly" He agrees. Now, Grey. Attack!

"You know what you should do. I think it's best if he stayed away for a while. He is in the same school as Mia was, right?"

"Yes" he nods but he still doesn't know where I am going with that.

"The school makes this thing with high-grades students. They send them abroad for a few months to learn more about other cultures in Europe. I think Mia spent her whole senior year in Paris. You know my dad wouldn't let her go if it was dangerous" I know throwing my dad in the mix will chase any fear he may have of letting his son travel alone in a foreign country."It is safe. It is educational. You told me his grades were good, right? How good?"

"I am not sure but I think it would be good enough" His mood sounds much better which means my idea is taking its place in his head. Prefect!

"I personally think you should look into it. If he gets accepted, it will be good for him" He doesn't have to know that I have already made arrangements with the school and the boy will be accepted anyway. After a generous check of course.

"Yeah, I will see what I can do. I don't know if his mom will agree, though" Yeah, I don't leave things for chance, buddy. I have a way around this too. Hence, my little visit to mom tonight. That is what I call two birds with one rock.

"I don't think she will mind. It is all for the kid, right?" It makes sense anyway.

"She is hurt. People can do crazy things when they are hurt. That is how powerful love is. It can be beautiful just as much as it can be destructive"

His words added to my earlier thoughts get me a little dazed. I can manage a multibillions company but when it comes to feelings, I am as helpless and clueless as it gets. That is why I stay clear of it.

It is like fate is mocking me because when I walk Fells out of my office, I hear a beautiful sound that makes something in my chest skips a beat. I am sure it is not my fucking heart. I look and I see her. Ms. Anastasia Steele looks like her hangover is long gone and she is in a much better mood. I almost smile at how more relaxed she looks now but then I notice the reason and my mood shifts. Parker is half-sitting on her desk with a goofy smile on his face. I have this sickening feeling in my stomach again. They are so close. Fuck, if she drops her head it would fall into his freaking lap. Personal space, you heard of it? I consider the idea of walking over to the two love-birds and giving them a piece of mind about 'Less flirting, more working' but I don't think I can control my reaction if I come closer and see something I don't want to see. Seriously, how many men can a girl have in her fucking life? Why did she have to be surrounded by men who want into her pants?

So thinking better of it, I turn my face away and walk back into my office cursing my helplessness and confusion.

"Good, you are here" Rose catches me just before I close my door. Can't a man have a moment to himself?

"I just finished a meeting. I was going to order some lunch" I explain letting her into my office.

"Oh, that is okay. I will be quick. You wanted me to remain you of the gala next week" She knows I didn't ask her to remain me of anything. That is what Andrea is for, not Rose. So what is she playing at? "Grace will kill you if you bailed on that" She grins and looks too pleased with herself for my taste.

"I will drop by" I am not a party person and I don't do well with crowds. I only attend these things for business purposes but this gala is for Copping Together so it is about charity which means I will just write a nice check.

"You should go, you know. This may be my last party in Seattle. I even told Ana and Adam to come so they can blend in as most of the Grey House people will be there. I didn't give them a plus one, though" Adam Parker but who the hell is Ana?

"Ana who?"

"Oh, Anastasia" So they call her Ana? Why? I like Anastasia more. I consider what Rose said. It is unnatural for interns to attend such an event but I see her point and it allows me to get a look at Ms. Steele in a different atmosphere. I wonder how she will deal with 'The daughters'. Now that should be fun to watch.

"I will be there" Yeah, I wouldn't miss it. "You said you didn't give them a plus one" Does that mean Anastasia won't have a date? Now, that is thrilling.

"Yeah, I figured they can go together. I mean they are not even supposed to be there" What? So Anastasia has to go with this boy as her date? _Maybe she doesn't _have _to, they looked pretty friendly together. _I am now considering telling Rose to give them a plus one but then again she will have to get another guy. I shake my head. I am giving this girl too much thought. So what if she goes in a date with this Parker fucker? It is not like _I _want to be her date or something! This is getting ridiculous!

"Yeah, makes sense" I am lying through my teeth. Nothing at this point makes sense at all.

I have taken off my jacket and started eating my lunch when I hear a knock on my door. What now? I thought Andrea went out for her lunch break!

"Come on in" I say and hear the door open and the sound of heels hitting the floor. "What is it, Andrea?" I ask without looking up from my food. I only look up when I hear a high-pitched pained scream.

Fuck!

**APOV:**

"Hey, Ana" What now? I look up and see Adam standing beside my desk awkwardly. What is up with that? "Whoa! Easy, killer" He raises his hands up in surrender. "Not a good time. Got it. Will come back later" He gives me a tight smile and turns to walk away to his own desk.

"Just tell me, what is it?" I sigh. You can't just come up and say 'hey, we need to talk' and then go 'you know what, I will drop by later'. That is one of the worst things you can do to a curious person like me.

"Did Rose tell you? About the gala next week?" I frown at first but then I remember.

"Yeah, she did. But I don't think I will go" A party full of rich mighty people talking millions and drinking champagnes, old men with trophy wives and old women wanting to talk about what you had for breakfast? My mom once dragged me to one of these things since she is a trophy wife herself. Not my cup of tea, thanks but no thanks. Adam looks disappointed by my reply.

"Oh, Why? I heard they are legendary" His eyes lighten up like a charismas tree.

"Maybe" I chuckle. "It is just not really my thing" I screw up my nose.

"Oh, Pity…" He looks like he has more to say.

"Just spit it out, Adam" He sighs.

"Rose said that because we are only interns we don't get a plus one so I thought if you want to go, that…" He trails off.

"You wanted me to be your date? By default?" Should I be insulted by this?

"No" His eyes widens. "You are a really nice person. I enjoy you company, I swear"

"You should know that I have a boyfriend" I can't have him thinking otherwise even though I never noticed any red flag signs from Adam. I always sucked at reading signs anyway.

"Ana, I totally meant to go together as friends" He assures and I breathe a sigh of relieve. Thank goodness for that. "Do you think your boyfriend would mind?" I laugh at that. He eyes me like I am odd.

"Not at all" I shake my head. "I and Jose, we don't do jealousy. We agree that it is overrated"

"I wish my girlfriend thought that too" He mutters under his breath like I am not supposed to hear it.

"Oh, so she would mind?"

"Not at all" He laughs awkwardly. "We broke up"

"Oh" I don't know what to say to that. "I am sorry"

"It is alright" He smiles, that boy is truly adorable. "It was two years ago" Say what? He must have read my face because he laughs. "Don't worry. I am not some psycho pinning over a girl for two years. I have been in some dates after that, it just didn't work out. You can't shake a six-year old relationship that easily. I was this close to proposing" He is rambling on but I don't mind at all. Somehow I feel closer now to him. I grape his hand and he looks up at me.

"High school sweetheart?" I guess and he nods. "What happened, if I may ask?" I don't want to pry but he looks like he needs to talk. I don't think he talks about this a lot and I don't know why he chose me to talk to.

"She got jealous over every little thing. I mean it was insane! Then one day I caught her in bed with a guy and I remembered that she has always believed in karma so maybe she thought I was cheating as well that is why she was so paranoid. It was nasty. I even lost my job and had to start new" I frown at this. "Oh, Did I forget to mention that she was my boss's daughter?" And that is, my friend, is why you should never mix business with pleasure.

"Don't be offend but she sounds like.."

"A total bitch?" He cuts me off. "Yeah, I know that. But I loved her, you know. She used to be different" He sounds so broken and I suddenly have this need to make him feel better.

"That is depressing" I screw up my nose. "I still think you should ask her, you know? I mean the girl was banging another dude and she still got jealous. She sounds like a crazy brat and I really don't want her daddy dearest to throw me in jail after I kick her ass. I mean she will need some serious medical attention after I am done with her…" Good, now he is laughing. I can't help joining him.

"You are crazy, you know that?" He says shaking his head when his laughter dies out.

"Oh, honey. You haven't seen half of it" I say in a mockingly psycho voice with a creepy smile.

"Does that mean you are coming?"

"And you are supposed to be brilliant?" I roll my eyes. "Ask me one more time and I am changing my mind" I warn with narrowed eyes.

"Alright, alright. Jesus, Ana. For a sweet girl you sure have a nasty side" He chuckles. "Speaking of, what's up with you and Grey?" I stop mid-motion at that.

"What do you mean?" _Play dumb. Play dumb._

"I was coming back from the coffee room when I saw you together it looked heated" So heated, you have no idea.

"Oh, what did you see?" I don't wanna spell out anything he hasn't already seen.

"He said something about you not answering his question and then you got so close to each other I thought you were gonna kiss or something.."

"Me and Grey, kissing?" I snore. Yeah, the thought hasn't even crossed my mind, like ever! _Keep telling yourself that. _"Not in this lifetime" _Smooth, Steele, Dammit!_

"But then you walked away and he looked like he wanted to kill someone so I figured you locked horns with him" He goes on.

"We had an argument" I say shortly dismissing the idea.

"Look, Ana. I probably shouldn't tell you that because you know, we are supposed to be competing. But I don't want you to regret it later. This stubborn badass attitude of yours won't end well with this guy. I heard things about him…he is ruthless, okay? A no-second-chances guy. You don't wanna mess with him. I mean at the end of the day he is your boss. Try to remember that the next time you glare him to ashes" With that he turns and leaves.

He is right. And seriously, anyone other boss not only Grey, would fire my ass for such an attitude. I am supposed to be a professional and able to control my temper but he just provokes me and I can't help it. The real question here is, If he is the guy everyone believes him to be, Why am I still her in GEH?

"Put that on consideration when you deliver those to him" Adam announces placing a file on my desk.

"What?" I don't wanna go in there after what happened! It is lunch time and people are starting to leave already. It will be just me and him in there. He can kill me and no one will ever have to know!

"Pretty please, Ana. I need to pick my sister from the airport like…" He checks his watch "Right now. And you said you won't go out for lunch today because you are tired" I did say that. I don't think I can move more than a few steps. Which also means I shouldn't be facing Grey!

"Adam" I warn. It is his job, Dammit!

"Come on, Ana. I will owe you one" Well, it is two since I just agreed to go to this gala for him but I am not gonna rub him in the face with it. He gives me his best puppy eyes and I cave. I have a problem with saying no to nice people. Yeah it gets me into a lot of trouble. I look over to Andrea's desk praying for her to be still here but she is not. Guess I will just have to suck it up and man the hell up. Truth is, I don't actually _hate _meeting with Grey. It is exciting to say the least. It is just so freaking dangerous. His mood is mostly unpredictable and my reaction to his ways is almost out of my control. I don't fear him. I fear being out of control around him. I knock and open the door only when I hear his soft 'Come on in'. I enter and he is behind his desk obviously just started eating his lunch. He has taken of his jacket and rolled the sleeves of his white shirt to just under his elbows. Fuck! The white shirt hugs his body like a glove, highlighting every little line. I was right. the man does have a killer body. The suits don't do him justice. And fuck me, how can forearms be such a turn on?

"What is it, Andrea?" His voice startles me and I realize I have actually stopped and stared. Embarrassed with myself, I start moving again. I stumble and a shot of pain spread from my ankle and up to my leg. I can't help the high-pitched scream escaping me as I drop to the floor. Fuck, that hurts like a bitch!

"Fuck, Anastasia" I hear his voice so close. How did he reach this close so fast? I ignore the pain in my leg and look around for something I can hold on to and stand up. Nope, not another encounter with Grey while I am on my knees, No fucking way. I grape the nearest chair and support myself slowly up just in time as he reaches me.

"Are you okay?" His voice is so soft. I look up to him and he looks …worried. Now that is new.

"I am fine" I say and try to put my weight on my legs. And another shot of pain causing me to groan loudly and grape the chair tighter. God, I can't move. In a minute, he is back at my side, wrapping his arm around my waist firmly. I am so screwed. I have to resist the urge to lean into his chest. He feels as strong as he looks. Dammit! I press my foot to the ground voluntary to let the pain chase away the unwanted thoughts. I feel his body tenses as my breath hitches from the pain.

"You are gonna be a good girl and sit down or not?" he hisses through clenched teeth as he glares at me. A good girl? What am I? His dog? Oh hell no!

"No" I hiss involuntary. I guess I am finding a great pleasure in pushing his limits. Or maybe I am just curious what is he going to do when I defy him. However, what happens next is not what I expected. Beyond any expectations that i let out a scream after he bends down and wraps his arms around my thighs. In one swift motion, he throws me over his shoulder and carries me over to the chair. Yes, I screamed, sue me. Caveman Grey is unexpected and adds a whole new playground to the game. I let out an angry squeal as he begins to put me down to let him know just how inappropriate what he did was. I cross my arms over my chest glaring at him furiously. _Also trying to hide how turned on I am by this new side of him. I bet he is a dominant in bed, Fuck!_

"You really didn't have to carry me like this. It is not the fifth century!"

"Would you rather it has been parker instead of me?" Is he glaring at me?

"No" I say almost involuntary. "What?" Why on earth would he say that now?

"You two looked pretty cozy earlier" Before I can response he drops to his knees in front of me. Oh, My. Christian Grey, The unfairly sexy successful CEO, The scariest boss I have ever had to deal with, is on his knees at my feet. It is unexpected. The man never ceases to surprise the hell out of me. In both bad and good ways.

"I am good, I swear" I don't like being babied. I am a big girl.

"Nonsense, you can't even walk" His fingers brush my shin so lightly. Thank god I am wearing an under-knees long skirt. "I don't get why women insist on wearing those murderers" He shakes his head and takes off my heels gently.

"They make our butts look better" Shit, I have to think of words before I say them. The man knows how to remove my filters with just his presence, Dammit!

"I can see the appeal, yes" He grins up at me and his eyes are a different shade of gray now. He looks young this way. He looks…human actually. He should do this more often. I am tempted to tell him that but manage to stop myself. "Also, I didn't peg you for a person who cares that much about how people see her" He says almost…playfully. Another whole new side of Grey. I feel so floored I am speechless for a moment. He just keeps grinning at me. Shit, am I staring?

"I don't" Crap, why is my voice shaking? I clear my throat. "I don't care. It is for me. I like looking sexy. It gives me confidence" What the hell am I saying? Why am I telling him that? I swear he could get me to tell him my underwear's color and size if he keeps on smiling like this.

"Interesting" He titles his head to the side and then nods like he taking a mental note before turning his attention back to my injured ankle which I almost forgot about totally. His fingertips caress my skin making it burns. I can't even tell which leg or which part is injured as the blood is pumping violently in all my veins. Why does he have that effect on me? No man has ever affected me that way. He presses his fingers slightly in a certain place at my ankle and I groan.

"Here" he whispers in obvious relieve. "It is not broken or you would be screaming by now. It is just sprained. But hey, at least now we know you are human!" He chuckles to himself. The words are coming out of him awkwardly, like he doesn't do much joking often.

"What? You thought I was a zombie or something? Jeez, Grey! How many ways can you tell a girl she looks like shit?" How can a man turn from concern to playfulness to being an asshole in less than two minutes? Are _you _human, Grey?

"I never said that" He places his hand carefully under my feet making it move up and down testing the joint. I try to ignore his touch and focus on being anger at him. "Don't put words in mouth!" Great, Now he is back to scolding me again. The joy! "You look insanely beautiful as always" He whispers almost like a second thought. His words combined with his touch knocks me off my feet _Not literally_. I bite back a gasp but couldn't help the blush spreading from my hairline to my neck. I try to tell myself that I am only blushing because someone so freaking beautiful as Christian Grey would think _I _am beautiful! I don't care that he thinks I am beautiful, nope I don't! _Seriously!_ He looks up at me making me blush even harder, Dammit! "Now that is a lovely sight" His hand reaches up to my face, almost hesitantly. His fingers run over my check in a tenderness that takes my breath away. How can someone be so harsh with his glares and words and yet have such a tender touch?

"Who are you?" I mutter out before I think better of it. But truly, I can't believe he is the same person who tends to bully and walk over me every time we are in the same room.

He chuckles lightly and looks down. A new smile making its way to his lips, it is almost…shy. Grey, Shy? No fucking way! He stands up swiftly. "Christian Grey, nice to meet you" What is this light shining in his eyes? Must be the lightening in here, sure. "Stay here. I will go grape some ice for your leg. Don't move" He fixes me with a serious gaze and turns to leave. He glances back at me once before he disappears out of the door like he doesn't trust me to stay still. I stay still, though. Not that I can move or anything. I let myself wonder about Christian Grey in all his shades and sides. He can't be just one person. Maybe he is bipolar? Scratch that, multi-character disorder maybe? After all, I did meet him in a shrink's office. But I thought he was one of those super rich people who go to shrinks to complain about how perfect their life is or how the haters who envy them are making their life a little less perfect. Nope, looks like the guy has some serious issues. I hear his footsteps and I almost jump in my skin._ He can't read your thoughts, Steele_. Thank god he can't. I don't think he will be thrilled to know that I am analyzing his mental state in my mind!

"You didn't move!" He sounds relieved and a little too pleased with himself for my taste. "Perhaps there is still hope for you after all" He says under his breath with a smirk. Whatever that means? Before I could question him farther he drops down to his knees again and start tying the ice packets to my injured leg. His 'focus' face is…Well, I will be damned. It is freaking cute actually. It is like I have entered the twilight zone.

"Are you a boy scout?" I can't help asking as I watch him tightening the ties around my ankle. A sound escaped him, deep and melodic, a laugh. It is the last thing I expected to hear coming from this creature but it is a freaking beautiful sound. He should definitely do this more often. Maybe I will try to make him laugh more than yell. It will be a lovely change.

"No, Whatever makes you think that?" He asks finishing up and placing his hand on my legs. Both hands on both legs. He does it almost casually but I don't have it in me to protest because I don't really despise his hands on me. I can't even believe myself right now.

"Always prepared, knows how to tie a good knot. Sounds pretty boy-scout-ish to me" I grin and he shakes his head at me but I see his lips curl at the sides. See? We can be in the same room without going for each other throats. It is actually kinda of fun.

"Is that okay?" He says referring to my leg.

"Yeah, I think it will be fine. It doesn't hurt much now….hmmm…Thank you" Ray will be disappointed in me if I didn't thank the man after what he did for me. Yeah, that is why I am doing it.

"You are most welcome, Ms. Steele" So now we are back to Ms. Steele.

"Just call me Ana"

"No" He says simply. "I prefer Anastasia" I narrow my eyes on him. He dismisses my glare standing up tall again towering over me. "You should go home and get some rest" He orders. And now the control freak is back to the building.

"I can't go home! I can barely walk!" I protest.

"Hence, going home!" He rolls his eyes in irritation.

"Mr. Grey" I mock a gasp. "Did you just roll your eyes? I happened to hear the act is considered…oh, yeah…'childish and very rude'" I make quote marks with my fingers.

"It is infectious" He rolls his eyes again. I can't help my giggle.

"Oh, yeah. I can see that" He bends down and places his hands on the armrests of the chair I am sitting on. Ops, now I am trapped.

"Your giggle is such a beautiful sound" His voice is soft and low again. I try to control my breathing. "Do you go for sarcasm in all situations, Anastasia?"

"Sarcasm is my oldest friend, Mr. Grey" I smirk and he smirks back at me before pulling himself up again. Thank fuck for that!

"I still think you should go home" He insists.

"While I appreciate your nice gesture, it is not practical" I say politely trying not to offend him. "Unless you will carry me over your shoulder and dump me into a cab I don't see how I will be able to go home right now" He looks like he is considering the idea. Sure he is not that crazy, is he? I am not taking any chances with him, though. "It is better if I stay for a few hours here with the ice on it and then it will get better and I will be able to walk well so I can go home without a wheelchair" I try to reason with him.

"You won't leave your desk?" He narrows his eyes at me suspiciously.

"Pinky swear it" I push my pinky finger up to him but he doesn't participate in my childish gesture. Chill, dude. Will ya?

"Alright" He finally agrees with a sigh.

"See, you can see reason. Perhaps there is still hope for you as well" I smirk while I throw his earlier words back at him to let him know that I have heard it. He eyes me with a curious amused gaze. I grape the armrests of the chair and try to pull myself up. Here, that wasn't so hard. I sway a little and Grey is quick to my side holding my waist firmly.

"I am fine, really" I don't want him to baby me farther than that. I don't like being the dismal in distress.

"Anastasia…" He starts but doesn't take his hands of me. Take a freaking hint, buddy!

"I said I am fine" I hiss more forcefully than I intend to but really just because I allowed him to touch me as he pleases earlier, it doesn't mean he can touch me when I say he can't. My tone makes him snitch his hands away like he just got burnt. His eyes widen and there is a hint of…hurt? Fear? I shrug it off not wanting to believe that he is capable of such vulnerable emotions. Collecting my strength, I put some weight on my feet and start to walk and it hurts. I bite my lips to suppress a moan and try to move my leg but my mouth open in a silent scream.

"Anastasia. Sit. Down." Comes his stern command. I bet he gets older men all over the state caving under this tone. And women wetting their panties and dropping them too. I refuse to be one of them though.

"I can't stay here all day. I need to go to my desk" I explain and ignore the pain trying to take a step. One fucking step.

"You can't walk" His voice is so stained.

"I will manage" I place my foot on the floor and the pain makes me jump and almost fall on my ass if I didn't grape the chair.

"Oh, fuck it " Is the only warning I got before he picks me up and carries me bridal style. I squeal in surprise." you stubborn woman, you could have broken you neck"

"I didn't want you to have to do this!" Although I don't really mind being in your arms. Why does this feel so fucking good?! I resist the urge to wrap my hands around his neck and rest my head on his chest. Instead, I keep my hands to myself and try to touch as less of him as I can manage.

"This ridiculous, you are light as feather!" He snores and starts walking me out of the door and to my desk.

"No, it is you" I say in a mockingly girly voice and reach with my hand to caress his chest as I speak."You are just so stron…" My voice is caught in my throat when I get a real feel of him. Damn it, his chest is hard and muscular under my palm. I got so caught up I didn't notice that he is frozen as a statue. Fuck! I must be making him uncomfortable. I pull my hand like I just got burnt. "Sorry "I mutter my checks heating with embarrassment. He stays silent for a moment and then start to move again. He drops me on my chair gently and I look up at him to guess his mood but his face as impassive as ever.

"It is alright" With this short reply he turns and leaves me.

I don't see him for the rest of the day.

**That was a real fun to write, I hope you enjoyed it too ;)**

**And the since it is chapter Ten, I wanted to make it a little special by putting some faces on the character, all but Ana and CG mainly because I am sure everyone of you has their own picture of them and I don't want to crash it but also because I really can't find an actor good enough to be the CG in my mind and for Ana…well I do have an Ana in my mind and she is pretty awesome, would like to know your faces for Ana and CG.**

**Rose: ****Angie Everhart****.**

**Adam: ****Dylan O'Brien ;) really.**

**Emma: Ellen Page. With black hair. This girl is super cute.**

**David: Usher. That man is unfairly sexy!**

**Elliot: Bradley Cooper. I love that dude!**

**Kevin: Nathaniel Buzolic. Too hot to be straight! Pity!**

**Kate: Scarlett Johansson. Because seriously that is as hot as it gets.**

**Tell me what you think ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**First, I don't get why do you guys think Jose dating Ana is gross? I mean it can only be gross if they are related or if he has raped her or something but none of this is true. Jose has been a friend of Ana in the books, a friend she knew all along that wanted more from her but she didn't want the same. In my story, under different circumcises, Ana wanted what Jose has to offer and they have been dating for a year. I understand that in the books he tried to kiss her and didn't stop when she asked him to but he was drunk and he apologized –I am not saying what he did wasn't wrong, it was so fucking wrong- And Ana FORGAVE him even though CG disagreed. Correct me if I am wrong, I haven't read the books in a while and I may have forgot some details.**

**Second, I did say in the very beginning that Ana will be out of the character, You remember I said that, right? Good ;)**

**WARNING: The chapter contains spoilers for a TV Show called OutLander so if you don't want to see the spoiler skip a few sentences once you see the show's name mentioned, it won't affect the storyline. **

**Now on with the chapter!**

**CPOV: **

While I am on my way to Bellevue, I try to think about anything else but my mind keeps on betraying me. I can't stop thinking about Anastasia. I remember her pained screams and groans and how much they bothered me. Me, the fucker who gets off on hurting brown-haired girls who look like his crack whore dead mother, couldn't bear to see the girl ,who did nothing but annoy him since she opened her smart mouth, in any sort or kind of pain. I can't even begin to explain the irony in all this shit. But then I also remember the way she felt in my arms, every curve of her body molded against mine like she fucking belonged there. I remember how my hand twitched resisting the urge to give her lovely behind a slap when I carried her over my shoulder. I remember the feel of her skin under my fingers, so agonizingly soft. I remember how hard it was to tear my hands of her every time I was fortunate to touch her. I remember the way she made me laugh and smile like I never did before. I remember her sweet blush when I involuntary told her how beautiful she is. I remember how surprise she was by that. I remember her stubbornness, her irrational independence and her surprisingly funny sarcasm. But most of all I remember her hands on my chest…

_Her hands on my chest…her hands on my chest where no one is allowed…her hands on my chest…and it doesn't hurt…_

My first reaction was like every time someone accidentally touches me in my forbidden zone. Panic, pain and fear…and NO and get your fucking hands off me. But then this time, for the first fucking time, the pain dissolved into pleasure, panic into surprise, and fear into wonder and NO turned into MORE. I wanted her hands all over me, running over my bare skin. It was crazy, how starved I felt all of the sudden…

_Yes, It was crazy and unrepeatable! Because it isn't a fictional fairytale, Grey. And there is no girl with magical touch that can cure your darkness away. This shit doesn't happen in real life and it sure as fuck doesn't happen to people like you!_

Taylor's voice pulls me out of my thoughts and into reality. I take a deep breath before stepping into the front door and soon enough I am greeted by my mother.

"Christian dear, I missed you" She leans to kiss my cheek. Since I was a little kid that is all the physical contact I have ever allowed her to have with me. I feel like shit every time I have to remember that I don't give her what she deserves. A woman like her deserves a much more perfect child than me.

"I missed you, Mom" I say giving her one of my rare smiles. The ones only my mother gets.

"Well, come on in. and don't think you are off the hook that easily" She warns playfully and I sigh and follow her into the warmer part of our great room, beside the piano. I remember when I used to play for more people than myself. Mom loved it when I played. At first that was the sole reason I bothered to learn but then I realized the calming effect it has on me.

"Would you like something to drink, darling?"

"Wine will be great" I say taking a seat while my mom pours two glasses for both of us.

"Here you go" She hands me my glass and takes a seat on the chair across from mine. A moment of silence passes as she gives me her ever-patient smile. That is why I don't like coming here alone. I don't care for this attention she is giving me.

"Look, Mom. I apologize for not dropping by earlier. Things have been a little crazy lately" So crazy you have no idea. "Did you know that Rose got divorced?"

"Yes, I've heard" I see the sympathy all over her face. "Poor thing! Is she okay? I wanted to check on her but I didn't know when it will be appropriate to talk about it" My mom, always the caretaker.

"She is alright" I say with a dismissive wave. Really, people give these things more thought than they deserve. So what if you turned out to be wrong about someone? So what if it didn't work out? Life doesn't stop spinning just because a love story didn't end happily. "But she decided to leave Seattle which means she won't be working with me anymore"

"Oh, dear" She frowns because she understands what Rose means to GEH. "What are going to do about it?"

"She hired two interns to choose one of them as a replacement" I run fingers through my hair. I still doubt this whole thing, How can any of them be as aware of my work as Rose is in just one month?

"You don't think they are good enough?" My mom asks as always reading my troubles all over my face.

"No matter how qualified they maybe, they aren't Rose. They don't know how I operate, don't know the foundation of GEH" I try to explain.

"Well, Honey. Neither did Rose when she first worked with you. The real question is whether you think they are capable of being a Rose one day"

"The kid stumbles when I address him directly, Mom! I want someone who has a strong personality, someone who speaks their own mind and doesn't cave just because I think differently. I don't need a puppet as my second in command. I need someone to see things from different angles, someone with a second opinion. Someone I can count on if I am not around who is capable of calling the shots without hesitation" I glance up at her after my rant is over and she has been listening calmly to me. She must be used to hearing men bitch about their work because my dad rarely hides anything from her. I don't think she would let him if he even tried.

"And what about the second one?" She finally says when I fall silent. "The second intern?"

"She…" I feel my throat closes over the words. Why is it hard to talk to my mom about Anastasia? "She is a little hotheaded. I don't know if we could work together. We don't tend to agree" She drives me fucking crazy. "But she is well-qualified, brilliant and ambitious" And so inhumanly beautiful. "She has good recommendations and degrees" She has the softest skin, the deepest blue eyes, the most captive smile and the most beautiful laugh. "She doesn't put herself above any kind of work no matter how simple it is" She is funny, hot and smart. She is the whole package any normal guy would dream of. Fucking amazing and never going to be mine.

"So she is different?" I didn't miss the way my mom stresses the 'she' word. Even though my mom thinks I am gay, there is still something in her that wants to believe otherwise.

"She is the closest to what I want, yes" Except she is not a submissive and she can never be one.

"I am glad" She smiles. "I am sure she would do just fine. And give the other boy a chance as well. Maybe he will prove himself when he gets over his fear from you. Oh, if you would just be a little nicer" Her eyes lighten up wishfully. I am sure she is imagining me all happy and in a normal perfect life. That is the thing with moms, guys. No matter how fucked up we get, they still believe in our happy endings. Even when we lose hope ourselves. "Are you okay? You know, about Rose leaving the state?" I frown. Didn't I just answer this question? "I mean aside from work, Christian. She was kinda of a friend to you as well, am I right?" My frown deeps. Well, to the naked eye, Rose may seems like the closest thing I have ever had to a friend, aside from _her _who shall not be named. But my mother never knew about my close friendship with Elena. So the way my mom must see it Rose has been my only friend and now I will be left friendless. She doesn't get that I don't really _need _any friends.

"I will be fine" I give her a reassuring smile and change the subject. We talk about the gale next week and she insists for me to attend and not just send a check. I assure her that I will be there.

"Did you invite the Fells?" I say directing the conversation to my other purpose for the night.

"I invited Alice" She presses her lips in a thin line. "But I don't know if she will come since Patrice will be there as well"

"I had a meeting with him today. He seemed miserable"

"And so is she, darling" she sighs. "I remember when they first got married. I was there. They were so happy, so in love. I guess even things as beautiful as love can end. I just hope they would stop trying to hurt each other" She shakes her head.

"They are adults. They should know what is best for them. I am more considered about the kid, though. I saw him days ago and he looked awful. I made a suggestion to Patrice to send him overseas for while. The school trip Mia went to. I thought it would be good for the kid to stay away until the drama is over"

"Yes, I think it would be wise. Good thinking of you, Dear" Good, now ask.

"He isn't sure if Alice would agree. I was thinking maybe you could suggest the same thing to her. I don't want her to reject the idea just to get back at her husband"

"Of course I will. It is all for the boy, right?" I nod. "No mother is that selfish and Alice is a good woman. I am sure she will agree" I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank fuck for that! "That was very kind of you, Christian. You have such a big heart" She looks up at me like I am her sun and stars. Every time she looks at me that way, I feel sick in my stomach. I don't deserve to be loved the way she loves me. Her love isn't real! It is based on the version of me she pictures. She loves how the broken bird she rescued from hell is now a successful kind man. It is not me. She doesn't know that my closet is stuffed with skeletons. She doesn't know that this kid wouldn't be in danger of being a forty-year old women's pet if I was a better person than who I am, if I wasn't a fucking idiot and a fucking coward. If she knew who I am, if she knew the kind of things her little angel is capable of, if she saw the real me, the monster, she would never look at me like she is right now. She would resent me, hate me, be disgusted with me. And even if I don't fear her hate because I deserve it. She doesn't deserve the misery it would bring her. She doesn't deserve to know that her little rescue mission wasn't that successful, that even though she snitched me from hell, I am still living with the demons.

So I smile and nod and act like the perfect son I have pretending to be since day one in this perfect family. But I will never forget that no matter how hard I try to 'fake it, till you make it', I will never fit in.

**APOV:**

"This is so fucking hot" Says the pregnant woman sitting on the coach beside me.

"You know your baby can hear you, right?" I raise my eyebrows at her.

"He can, but he can't understand" She says through the popcorn stuffed in her mouth. I laugh at her and turn my attention back to the screen. We are watching a Tv show named 'Outlander'. It is about a married British woman who was a nurse in world war two and then when the war is over she goes into a second honeymoon with her husband to Scotland. After that, some supernatural thing happened causing her to 'time travel' two centuries back and get stuck in the war between England and the resistance in Scotland. So many things happens leading up to the scene before us where we watch her getting fucked in the woods by a hot Scottish dude who was a virgin before he met her.

"They are just fucking, I don't see the point" What is different about that?

"In the woods!" Her eyes shine with wicked thoughts. "It is kinky"

"It is illegal" I roll my eyes. And then we see them get attacked by some soldiers who of course want to rape her. "See?" I say pointing at the screen. "That is why you shouldn't have sex in public, it doesn't end well" My point can't be any more proved.

"I can't believe you, Hannah. You swore you would never tell anyone. You swore" Comes Wade's voice from behind us. He was watching with us but excused himself a few minutes ago to take an important call.

"I didn't say anything" Hannah's eyes widen.

"Really? I heard you! What's next? Are you gonna tell our kid when he is born that he was the result of illegal public sex because his dad couldn't keep it in this pants till he gets home" I couldn't help it, I crack up laughing my ass off. That is fucking hilarious.

"I didn't tell her anything, Wade" She says through clenched teeth while a blush colors her checks. Wade looks confused.

"We were talking about the show, Dude" I explain when my laughter dies out. "You totally busted yourself up" He pales like he just saw a ghost. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me" I smirk wiggling my eyebrows. He just shakes his head and takes a seat beside his wife throwing her a dirty glare. She shrugs with a grin and pops her feet on his lap batting her eyelashes in a silence plea for a foot message. He narrows his eyes and is about to protest but she saves herself by pulling off the 'pregnant pouty' face like no other and of course, he caves. I smile at them. Hannah and Wade are the cutest couple I have ever seen. I met Hannah two years ago when I started working in SIT. She is the bubbliest girl I have ever met so she kinda forced our friendship down my throat at first but now I can't be more grateful to her for that. She is an amazing woman and a loving mother of four-year old girl that I adore. She and Wade have been unseparatable since high school so being friends with Hannah meant befriending Wade as well, which isn't that much of bad thing to be honest. Wade is an ex-Marin, which makes him the only one in our little group with whom I can talk about guns. He now owns a security company with two other of his friends and despite his tough exterior, he is just a sweet caring guy who loves his wife so much and would do anything for his little family.

Since I am nursing a sprained ankle and a paining period this weekend, I decided it was wise to stay home and invite my friends over. My period means Jose is banned from my apartment which results in no-sex for me. Nah, I am not so happy about that. I could have stayed on my own but I didn't want to let myself think. Every moment my mind isn't occupied it tends to drift back to the moment I had with my boss when my ankle betrayed me. I can't get over the different things that happened in those few minutes. How can such a short amount of time change your whole review about a person? Dammit, My head is still spinning with confusion and it was yesterday. I keep telling myself that Grey's true colors don't concern me but it is not true. My main goal of this internship is studying GEH's mechanism of work but also studying Christian Grey himself, knowing how he thinks, how he operates. I can't do that when he tends to shock me or anger me every time I get in contact with him. I need to know what to expect from him so I can be prepared and focused around him. And I don't have any more time to waste. My eyes fall on Wade and an idea pops into my head.

"Wade?" _This isn't right! _I will just ask if it is possible, that is all!

"Yes, Ana" He turns his attention to me.

"I was wondering, is doing background check on people part of your work?"

"Yes" He is in full alert now. "Who are we digging after?" His eyes brighten in interest and he might as well be rubbing his hands together in excitement. I figure working in a security company must be boring to someone who was a soldier.

"Just someone at work. I just need to know who am I dealing with, that is all"

"That is cool. Just send me enough information and I will let you know everything you need to know"

"Ana, is someone bothering you? You know you can have your job in SIP back if you want, James will totally understand" Hannah says with a sympathetic smile, worry shinning in her eyes.

"Nah, I am okay. I just like to be holding all the cards, you know" I assure her not wanting them to start questioning me.

"Oh, I know that" She rolls her eyes and I narrow mine at her. What is that supposed to mean? She is saved by my door ball. I get up to open it. It is Kevin. He was out with Bella buying ice cream, now he is carrying her tiny body while she lays asleep.

"She fell asleep in the car" He whispers careful not to wake her up. I move from his way to let him in. He repeats the same thing to her parents and Hannah tries to get up so she can tuck her daughter in but Wade races her to it and tells her he would do it. Loving husband, told ya.

"Are you still watching crappy TV?" Kevin asks as he drops himself on the coach beside us. Hannah turns to face him ready to defense her beloved TV series but I cut her off not wanting them to start an unnecessary argument.

"The episode just ended"

"Good" He grins and hops off his seat walking to my TV. "Cuz I've got some real goodies for you ladies" He leans to pick up something from the bag he has been holding since he walked in. "So, Hercules or X-Men days of future past?" He questions holding up two CD cases.

"X-Men" I say while Hannah says "Hercules"

"Sorry, Hannah but I have to agree with Ana here" he grins and doesn't look sorry at all. "I have a soft spot for this hunk" He explains pointing at Hugh Jackman. Gotta agree with the guy, this man is pure awesomeness. I turn to poke my tongue out at Hannah and then grin smugly at Kevin. I love how even though we are all grown-ups here, we tend to act like children. Friends aren't friends if they don't bring out the child in you.

"Ah, ah. We still have someone else to vote" Hannah announces with a new found enthusiasm when Wade appears back. "What do you think we should watch, Hercules or freaky X-Men?" God, can she be any more obvious?

"Hercules?" Wade whispers carefully knowing his answer will define his sex life for the next few days. He sighs in relief once he sees she likes his answer.

"Pussy-whipped" "Wuss" I and Kevin say in the same time faking a cough to cover it. The happy couple ignores us of course. The door bell rings again.

"Fine, whoever on that door will settle this" I get up and pray it is Emma and not David because Emma would agree with me. She loves all X-Men movies. I open and you guess it. it is David _and _Emma.

"Hercules or X-men days of future past?" I ask instead of hello.

"Is that even a question? Hercules of course" David says as he pushes past me to get in.

"Emma?" I give her my best puppy eyes. She gives me her we-need-to-talk face and I frown.

"You guys can watch this stupid movie while we make dinner then we will watch the good one after" She announces pulling me to the kitchen and we are followed by Kevin's "No fair" groan.

"What is it?" I ask once we get in.

"What is what?" She suddenly looks like she doesn't want to talk.

"Cut the bullshit. You want to tell me something. Up with it" I cross my arm and dig my foot.

"It is not that important, okay?" I keep my face impassive. "Do you remember the guy we met at Glee? The one who turned out to be the groom of my new client?"

"Blondie?" I say without thinking.

"You call him Blondie?" She cracks a laugh and I chuckle. "Man, I wish I could see Elliot's face if he hears it"

"So his name is Elliot?" I don't like where this is going.

"Yeah, I had an appointment with the bride yesterday and surprisingly he showed up with her" She looks uncomfortable again.

"And?"

"And I don't think he bought the whole lesbian thing. Even though his fiancée looks like she totally bought it. He keeps on giving me those…looks when she isn't looking" She blushes clearing remembering the sick bastard.

"Emma" I sigh. "You know he is engaged to be married, right?" I have to make sure her mind is set right.

"I know that" She glares at me. "I may be a wreck when it comes to guys, Ana. But I am not a home wrecker!"

"Of course I would never suggest that. I am just making sure you know what this is, okay? He looks like a player which is kinda of your type and I don't want to see you get hurt again" Emma has a long list of heartbreak which I witnessed first handed. If I can help preventing another fated-to-death romance, I will. And this one has FAIL stumped all over it.

"I know what this is, I just don't know how to deal with him" Her tone softens when she senses my worry.

"Stay professional and deal only with the bride" I shrug. "And just know that soon it will be over and you will never have to see him again" _You know you can tell yourself the exact same thing about Grey, right?! _This isn't about Grey!

"I will do my best"

"And keep me updated" I say pointing my index finger in warning.

"Yes, Ma'am. Can we start cooking now?"

"You mean can _I _start cooking?" I correct. Emma can't cook to save her life.

"Why do you have to be so mean?" She fakes a pout.

"To keep you kids in line" I wink.

**And Now the Ana gang is complete! What do you think of the new people?**

**And by the way, CG thoughts about his relationship with his family is one of the things that touched me most in the books. I almost cried writing this part with his mom, hope you guy liked it!**

**Do you think Ana have the right to do a background check on CG? Do you think she should?**


	12. Chapter 12

**So sorry for the delay! I went down with the flu this weekend. It wasn't pretty.**

**TiffanyNida69: I am so glad you like my story and thank you for seeing the reason behind Ana's relationship with Jose. Hope you like this chapter as well!**

**Hettyblue: I will always love your reviews ;)**

**Stace1971: No, he won't be so happy about it!**

**It looks like you all want Ana to dump Jose, and I can understand why and it sure will happen but when? That is up to the storyline. I promise you as little as possible mention of their relationship but I can't promise anything else. The chapter following this one will explain the importance of Jose to Ana.**

**On with the chapter, brace yourselves. This one is a biggie!**

**APOV:**

The weekend with my friends was refreshing, relaxing and just what I needed. I am back at work on Monday and still debating if I should dig after Grey. It would be a great act of being hypocrite of me. I mean, I loathe invasion of privacy. This would be a non-deserved invasion of his. _Is it non-deserved, though? _ It would be deserved if he is endangering me, so is he? No, he is not. I don't think he would hurt me. But it would make being around him _so much _easier. _Is that an enough excuse_?

"Ana, Adam. A second please" Rose cuts through my inner dialogue. Immediately, I and Adam stand up and follow her to her office. We exchange a questioning look before we enter. Looks like no one knows what is going on. This is comforting!

"Please have a seat" We do. "You both know that this internship's whole purpose is to choose one of you to be my replacement, right?" What is she playing at? Is she gonna tell us to 'fight each other to death'? I think I can take Adam, though. I suppress a laugh over my thoughts.

"Yes, Ma'am" We both say.

"Good, so it is about time you two know more about this place and how it operates. I allowed you to have a light week to adjust and blend in but now we don't have much time. Which is why I decided to make you more involved" We nod. About freaking time, yes! I was getting bored of doing paperwork! Gimme the real stuff, Honey! I almost drool. "Great" She nods to herself. "That is great. So we have an important meeting at 1 PM and both of you will attend. I will email you the information you need so you don't feel lost. You can look at it for the next three hours" I almost bolt out of my chair and to my computer but manage to restrain myself.

_Keep it cool, Steele!_

But that is what I am here for! I nearly whine internally.

_I know but you still gotta look cool!_

"Yes. Sure. That would be great" Adam is the first to recover. He sounds excited but a little nervous as well. Not that I am not nervous as shit, though.

"Thank you, Rose. I promise we will do our best" I realize I am grinning like an idiot and my voice got a little squeaky. _Dammit! Is that your idea of cool?_

"Awesome. Now, be in your ways" She shoos us away. When we both exit her office we grin at each other before we head to our desks. I almost rub my palms in excitement!

I open my mail and find an unread message from Mr. Tanner! That is odd. He was my favorite high school teacher AKA the only person who didn't treat me like a whore after my little 'accident'. He was new and he only heard of it but he told me something I knew I will never forget.

_"I don't care about what you __**did. **__My solo concern is what you __**will **__do. So my question is, would you let your past define your future?"_

The words were simple and not that original but they were the exact thing I needed in this tough period in my life. Let's just say I own this man a lot, starting with the fact that I wouldn't have graduated high school with these grades if it wasn't for him. So I open the message and my confusion deeps when I see what it contains.

**Call me as soon as possible. It is urgent.**

And he wrote what I think is his cell's number. Mr. Tanner has always been a man of a few words but I still feel something is off. Worry seizes me and I pull my phone dialing the numbers on the screen. _Please let it be fine…please let me be exaggerating… _He answers on the third ring.

"Hello" I recognize the kind voice from my past. Well, at least he is okay. I sigh in relief.

"Hey, Mr. Tanner" I feel like an awkward school girl all over again. "I am Ana Steele. I got your e-mail. You wanted me to call you"

"Oh, yes, yeah…" He clears his throat. "How are you? Are you doing okay?" I hate it when people have to bother with small talk when there are much more urgent matters to discus. I understand manners but seriously, this isn't the eighteenth century!

"I am doing just fine. Thank you for asking" I say as kindly as I can manage. "I am a little worried right now, though. You said it was urgent"

"Oh, about that…" On with it! I argue him mentally. "There were some strange activities this morning in school. I think someone important was here and then the principle asked all the old teachers to provide her with a full report about an old student. This student was you" I feel the blood leaving my face.

"Me? Why me?" This isn't my voice. Or at least this isn't my twenty-four-year old voice. I sound again like the traumatized girl from seven years ago. _No._

"I don't know, Ana. I tried to snoop around but all I know is that this person is really powerful because it was done so urgently. And the guy was named Welch, I think. Do you know someone of that name?" I search my brain. Every dark corner for a Welch but I come back blank. I suppress a curse.

"No" I shake my head and the sickness is my stomach is increasing with time. Who would want my high school records? _Someone powerful! _My current stepfather? but why would he do that? Why would anyone do that?

"Ana…Ana, are still with me?" I hear Tanner's voice filled with worry like he is calling for me from distance_._ I didn't even realize I am hyperventilating. I try to regular my breath. Inhale, exhale normally. But my heart is beating a mile faster and my lungs are struggling to keep up. The phone drops from my hand and I run to the bathroom as fast as I could.

I throw myself into the toilet emptying my stomach. I vomit and I vomit until my whole breakfast is out and then I am dry-heaving all the liquid in my guts. After a few horrible minutes, I roll and drop my weight beside the toilet. No fucking way! I thought I buried that shit in the fucking ground. I am a new person. I am not that girl anymore. Why would anyone be interested in _her? _She was a fucking bitch and she deserved what she got! _Do you really think referring to yourself as a different person will fix this? _No. Flynn told me before that separating myself from that girl wasn't healthy. But fuck healthy, I need to keep myself sane. I let myself have a good cry before deciding to end the party. I almost crawl to the sink. Thanking heaven for the bathroom being empty. I help myself up and open the tap. I slash cold water over my face. My hands scrabble my face until it turns red. I place my hands on the sink's edges leaning toward the mirror.

"My name is Anastasia fucking Steele and whoever you are, I am taking you down. You will regret the day you considered coming after me" I whisper to myself. And I know I sound like a nutty person but I don't give a fuck at this point. I look like a mess and I can't go out like this. I try to arrange my appearance as much as I could and sneak out of the bathroom grabbing my purse from my desk without bumping into anyone. Thank fuck for that! I am back at the bathroom going first for the mouth wash to get rid of the awful taste in my mouth, a reminder of my moment of weakness. I reapply my make-up and rearrange my hair into a decent high ponytail. Taking a deep breath, I look like myself again. When I am back to my desk, I see Rose talking to a man I have never seen before. I wouldn't have given it much thought except the guy is alarmingly huge. More than 6'3', he looks more like security which means he shouldn't be here. The only security we tend to see around Grey's office is his personal security, Taylor and this man is not him. With the adrenaline still running in my blood, I am more paranoid than ever. Stepping as close as possible without being noticed, I hear parts and bits of their conversation.

"….glad you will be at the gala…"

"…for the world…"

"…the kids…their grandma…"

"…that is great…Mrs. Welch…"

_Mrs. Welch…Mrs. Welch…Welch…Someone powerful…this morning…_

_Fuck!_

Resisting the urge to scream or panic again, I pull my shit together. I need to get to the bottom of this. My two guesses are Rose or Grey. But my biggest bet is on the motherfucker. Deciding to take all the necessary cautions and be sure before crushing into Grey, I head to the one person who can confirm all of this madness. Andrea.

"Hey, Morning" I plant my best sweet smile and thank goodness she buys it.

"Morning, Ana"

"Look, I was wondering. Who is that hottie speaking to Rose? I have never seen him here before" I make sure to fake a lusty glance at _Welch. _Even though all I feel toward him is bloodlust but I have to remember that he is just doing the dirty work of his employ.

"Oh, that is Mr. Welch" She leans whispering. Andrea lives for gossip. "He is the head security so he doesn't come here often but I think he was delivering something to Mr. Grey" Oh, but I am _sure _he just did. _Stay cool, Steele. _"I didn't know you liked them big" She giggles.

"Well, you know what they say. Size matters" I giggle along with her and wish for this conversation to be over. My guess has been confirmed and now I am itching to face the fucker and claw his eyes out. _How dare he?_

"I am sorry, darling. But I think he is married and with kids too" Not that I give a fuck but I fake a pout.

"Pity" I couldn't hold the façade any long and the word comes out dripping of venom. Leaving behind Andrea, I enter Grey's office without knocking before anyone could stop me. My unannounced entrance startles him a bit and his head snaps up from his computer screen.

"Why are you digging in my past, Grey?" I go straight for the point. I have no temper to dance around the topic with his ass. For his credit he looks surprised, a little busted as well. _Surprise, Bitch._ "This is a whole new level of invasion of privacy. Can you be anymore unprofessional?" I try to stay calm. Believe me, I do. But he doesn't look busted anymore. He looks as cool as ever and it unnerves me more. I walk toward him until I am a few feet away from his desk.

"On the country, I am being highly professional" He says with the same coolness leaning his back against his chair. "You are about to be a part of my company. I need to know anything that is there to be known about you" He lectures.

"Why in the blue hell would knowing my high school history be of any benefit to your freaking company?" My self-control is barely there now. It is like he _wants _me to lose it. If that is a battle of will and self-control, he is so fucking close to winning.

"Anything, Ms. Steele" He finally makes the effort of standing up and walking around his big desk. "I don't like leaving things uncovered"

"What Do You Know?" I say slowly, carefully but with enough force to get his attention. I feel naked all of the sudden. This man could be aware of every dark secret I have ever done my best to keep, even from the closest people to me.

"I know that you have been a bad bad student" His voice matching my tone and I feel like I have just been stabbed in the guts with a hunting knife and all my insides are unspooling on his office floor.

"What the fuck do you know?" I whisper out, my voice is foreign to my own ears. I close my eyes and I can almost smell my fear. I let it gather, all the fear, the pain, the hurt, form all these years. They form a ball inside of me. I turn the ball to one single emotion. The one I can act upon. The one who won't turn me back into this seventeen-year-old girl who couldn't face her attackers because she was so weak so ashamed. Because she couldn't own her _anger. _I do now, I own it. I am so fucking angry I am seeing red. I am sick of myself for being so weak. I am sick and I am taking it out on the only person who deserves my anger and my resentment. "You know what? Don't answer that. I am so sick of you, Grey" my voice is dripping with anger, hate and disgust. "I am sick of your arrogance, your more than bad temper and your unprofessionalism" I am on a roll. There is no stopping me now. "I am sick of you doing whatever the hell necessary to get what you want regardless to who you may step on in your way" I step closer and so does he. I try not to look at him. I need to say it all without his influence. "You know, when I first came here I was excited. I was awed of you" I couldn't help my snore. "Of all the things you have achieved. I thought you were a genius. But now I know you are just a fucking asshole" I am past caring about being a fucking professional now. "And I don't get how you made such a success with this little persona of yours. I don't know if it is your family name you used or that pretty face of yours. I am not even putting it beneath you to have fucked your way to wealth" I spit the words out without thinking. I realize we have been stepping closer and closer and now we are inches apart. "All I know is that I am so sick of all this and I don't want to be a part of anything that is yours" My nostrils are flaring and his smell invades my senses like England invaded Scotland, wrecking and weakening me. "I don't even want to see your sickeningly pretty face ever again" The last sentence is barely a whisper. I look up at him finally letting myself take a good look at his eyes. I expected anger, hate, disgust, matching to the ones I should feel. But all I see is raw hunger and unwavering desire. So primitive so intense, it calls out to me. I feel my ball of anger slowly colliding with another emotion. An emotion I haven't felt before, not in this kind of crazed urgency.

"Are you done?" His voice is husky. His flaring nostrils are matching mine but not from anger. We are like two wild beasts staring each other into submission. Neither of us willing to waver.

"Yes" it comes out of my mouth like a moan and the next thing I know he is kissing me. His lips hard and unforgiving against mine, almost bruising. But it is the kind of painful pleasure that drives a person to insanity. And I am so scared so fucking scared because this man has so much power over me.

This man has the power to completely destroy me.

Every protective wall I have ever built, every shell I have sheltered myself into and curled in its warmness. He has the power to break all of this, reach inside and touch this vulnerable part of me I have been keeping hidden from everyone.

After a moment of hesitation, I couldn't resist giving in. I kiss him back. He tastes of mint and morning coffee and everything a male should taste of. And he is kissing me like I am his favorite candy and he is dying to devour it. With one hand tugging my ponytail and the other around the side of my throat, thumb pressed under my chin, he is angling my head as he pleases. Controlling the kiss completely. I let my fingers dive into the soft mess of his hair, my nails scratching the back of his skull. I tug his strands harder to angle his face so I can taste him better. My other hand slides from his shoulder under his jacket to his chest because _fuck _I have to feel him under my hand. It causes him to groan against my mouth, tug harder on my ponytail and bites my lip before pulling an inch away. Shit, I just forgot I have to breathe.

"Dios mío, Christian…" I moan out and he makes a sound that looks like a growl before pushing me against the nearest wall. I feel the hard wall digging into my back but I _can't_ care right now. He grabs my wrists and pins my hands over my head, his whole body pressing me against the wall and he is kissing me like he is sentenced to death and I am his last meal. His chest is pressed firmly against mine causing my nipples to harden painfully. I can feel his hard erection against my belly and I can't resist rubbing against it. I push my tongue into his mouth to taste him and our tongues battle for a few delicious moments before I take his lower lips between my teeth and bite. He snitches himself away from me with a pained groan taking a step away.

I try to catch my breath but I am panting like a pig and my skin is itching. I feel cold and hot and neglected. All I can think about is…_more…I need more…_

_What has he done to me?_ This man is attacking me with every weapon known in a cold war and like a stupid idiot I gave in to him. I let him reduce me to this mess of wanting and needing and blind blind desire. Things I haven't let myself feel before because they are poisonous, wrecking and destructive. He is weakening me! _He is making me more alive!_

Suddenly the hunger haze dissolves and all I have is anger again. Anger against that person who dared to bare me and reach the places no one is allowed. I look at him and he is looking down trying to control his breathing as well. He looks up at me and the hunger is gone from his face replaced with controlled indifference. I don't know why his easily regained composure pisses me off more but the next thing I know is my fist greeting his face with a force making him bend backward and I am running.

I have enough brains to snitch my purse in my way before I jump into the elevator and lean my back against its wall once the door closes after me.

_I just kissed my boss._

_I just punched my boss._

_I must be going crazy._

I count the numbers as the elevator gets me down and I don't stop until I reach the backseat of a taxi taking me home. I pull my phone out and dial the number.

"Wade" My voice is surprisingly neutral, not matching how much of a mess I feel.

"Hey, Ana"

"Remember the person I told you about. I need this background check as soon as possible. I will send you the name in a text once I hang up" I say in a monotone voice.

"Okay, Ana. Are you alright?"

"I am fine. Thank you for doing this" I say before hanging up because I can't let him question me further. I type the message and press send.

**Christian** **Grey. CEO of GEH.**

He won't need more ID than that. If I thought Christian Grey may be a danger to me, now I am certain he is.

**CPOV:**

My eyes run over the different pages on my computer screen but my mind is occupied. Normally Welch would send me the information via e-mail but he chose to deliver them personally this time. I shake my head when I remember what he said.

_"There was just something off. I couldn't put my finger on it but I could just sense it"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Well, first of all. Unlike her college records, I couldn't reach her high school ones without being their personally. I had to fly all the way down to California to have a one-on-one meeting with the principle this morning. Secondly, she seemed a little suspicious when I requested the records of this specific student. Like she wanted to ask me 'Why her?' The whole school was in high alert. Of course, I managed to get what I wanted eventually but I still felt like they were hiding something"_

_"What could that be?"_

_"I have no idea"_

I had calm enough to dismiss Welch without yelling at him for not giving me clear answers. I ordered him to dig further, especially in this time period of Ms. Steele's life. My eyes fall on her junior year records, that is where the oddity lays. She was born here in Montesano where she spent the first sixteen years in her life. Her dad died when she was two and her mom married Ray Steele who she was named after. _Weird? Why wouldn't she be named after her biological father, specially that her wealth is thanks to his side of family? _Then her mom got divorced and they moved to California where she spent her last two years in high school before she went to WSU where she got her degrees. It all sounds pretty normal except one single detail. Her grades for the first few months of her junior year don't match her norm. The records just don't make sense. For her entire life she has been a straight A student except in those few months which are filled with bad grades, long hours of detention and skipped classes. She even got expelled for three days. It just doesn't add up. I would have thought it was just a troubled period any teenager is doomed to have but then Welch suspicion against the school tells me that there is more to it. My thought is cut by the sound of my door opening and closing. I look up ready to yell at whoever dared to step into my office without permission and I see no one but the subject of my wondering. Ms. Steele is walking toward me in determined steps. She is wearing a black dress that hugs her body perfectly and her hair is up in a high and mighty ponytail and she looks like she is about to kill someone. She sure carries herself in a powerful vibe for a tiny little thing. _Oh, Ms. Steele. Do I wanna know all your secrets!_

"Why are digging in my past, Grey? This is a whole new level of invasion of privacy. Can you be anymore unprofessional? "I have to hand it to her for going straight to the point. It throws me off the track for a moment but I quickly regain my footing.

"On the country, I am being highly professional" I say with my normal coolness leaning back in my chair like I don't give a shit about what she is talking about."You are about to be a part of my company. I need to know anything that is there to be known about you" My calm tone seems to unnerve her further and a part of me wants her to crack and spill some of her secrets.

"Why in the blue hell would knowing my high school history be of any benefit to your freaking company?" Her voice is a little shaky by now but I refuse to let it affect me.

"Anything, Ms. Steele" My instinct draws me closer to her. I feel protective of her even though I am her attacker. How is that even possible?! "I don't like leaving things uncovered" I add in the same cold manner.

"What do you know?" She utters with force and I can see that she is scared and trying to hide it.

"I know that you have been a bad bad student" I say the first thing that comes to my mind because really that is all I know for sure but I don't want her to see how little I know.

"What the fuck do you know?" She repeats and for a moment she looks really and truly scared. I have never seen her that scared before not even in the times I tried to intimidate her on purpose. Surprisingly, it is not a good sight for me. Normally, I thrive on watching my submissives shake in fear. But now as I look at Anastasia I feel a totally different thing. I feel like I want to punch the asshole that caused her to be like this, this asshole being me, like I want to comfort her, sit her down and tell her that it is alright. That SHE is alright and she has nothing to fear as long as I am alive. _Shit, now where did that come from?_ Just like that, the moment is over and her fear disappears, replaced by rage…white hot rage that possess her body. "You know what? Don't answer that. I am so sick of you, Grey. I am sick of your arrogance, your more than bad temper and your unprofessionalism. I am sick of you doing whatever the hell necessary to get what you want regardless to who you may step on in your way" she takes a step closer and I match her steps involuntary. She is looking down not meeting my eyes. Her nostrils are flaring in her anger. her skin is glowing with a lovely redness. "You know, when I first came here I was excited. I was awed of you" She snores like it is the most ridiculous thought she has ever had. "Of all the things you have achieved. I thought you were a genius" For some reason I feel warmer inside by her confession of admiration. "But now I know you are just a fucking asshole" And just like that the warmness is long gone. She never swore, not even in our most intense arguments. "And I don't get how you made such a success with this little persona of yours. I don't know if it is your family name you used or that pretty face of yours. I am not even putting it beneath you to have fucked your way to wealth" I am not an idiot. I am fully aware that she is insulting me, accusing me of using sex for business purposes and that is even more insulting than I can imagine. But somehow all of that doesn't fucking matter. I am memorized by the raw emotions in her speech. I don't know if it is her bravery, her beauty or her underlying weakness that draws me in most but I am like a fucking moth and she is my flame. She is like a wild animal in her anger, the kind you are dying to touch but never break, never tame, because there is an undeniable beauty in its fierceness, a beauty you just can't lose. I step closer until she is an inch away. I can smell her and just like every time her smell overwhelms my senses and gets me a little lightheaded."All I know is that I am so sick of all this and I don't want to be a part of anything that is yours. I don't even want to see your sickeningly pretty face ever again" The last sentence comes out like a shaky whisper and she finally looks up to meet my eyes. She must have seen something in my face because her eyes widen immediately and the storms in her blue oceans turn a different shade, a darker shade. A new smell perfumes the air signaling her matching desire. I couldn't hold it any long, I have to touch her. But I couldn't interrupt her so…

"Are you done?" With a barely there control.

"Yes" Is almost a fucking moan and I finally do what I want. I grab the back of her stubborn little head and pull her forcefully against mine. Our lips colloid and I almost moan when I get a taste of the drug I have been craving for days. She tastes better than I imagined. Her lips are pillow soft against mine and motionless for a fearful moment. I can almost taste her fear on her lips. Determined to chase the fear away, I wrap her skilly ponytail around my knuckles and angle her head so I can kiss her more thoroughly. I can almost feel her resistance snap when I feel her body finally melting against mine and she kisses me back. She runs her fingers through my hair pulling on the strands, nails scratching my skull. The pain-pleasure sensation almost drives me to the edge of insanity. She slides her tiny hand over my shoulder and to my chest and I couldn't help my groan. I almost breathe in relief. It is like my body had just known the heaven of her touch and has been waiting for another dose and it finally got its fix now. I bite her lip like I always wanted to and pull away slightly, somehow remembering that we both need to breathe.

"Dios mío" She moans and I think it is Spanish but I am not sure. Anyway it is hot as fuck. "Christian…" My first name rolls out of her lips and the voice goes straight to my cock causing it to twitch in need. _Fuck! _I growl and the sound is almost inhuman, pushing her against the wall because I have to feel her warm body pressed against mine. I grab her wrists pinning them above her head and immobilizing the length of her body with mine. I can feel her hard nipples against my chest and it drives me crazy. I push my tongue further into her warm mouth and hers comes out to play as well. We battle for dominance. Shit, even with me immobilizing her body she is not submitting, she is giving as much and she is getting and fuck if it isn't turning me on more. To top it all, she takes my lower lip between her perfect teeth and bite...hard. almost hard enough to draw blood. My erection is now threatening to jump out of my pants and I am sure she feels it because she rubs herself against it in the most painfully delicious way. I have to step away or I swear I will lose my shit and fuck her senselessly!

With the last shred of will power I have left, I snitch myself away from my drug. My breath is ragging more than it does when I run miles. My whole body is itching. _In certain places more than others. _And there is a thick haze clouding my mind.

_Fuck! Did I just do this? Here?! Shit! She probably now thinks I am an asshole who fucks his employees! _I need to pull my shit together.

When I am finally more controlled. I look up at her and her desire has dissolved again into anger. I don't see it coming as her fist comes flying up to meet my right eye with no tenderness.

_Fuck, that hurts! _The power behind her punch is almost as surprising as the action itself! Did she just punch me? WHAT THE FUCK?

Once I finally shake my shock away, I look for her and she is gone. I almost run out of my office but she is nowhere to be found.

"Fuck me" I curse under my breath and return to my office with my head still spinning. I walk over to the wall-length windows and drop my heated head against the cool glass. Dammit, I can still taste her on my lips. I would do it again, even knowing the net result. It was so fucking worth it.

"What the hell did you do to Ana?" Rose questions as she enters my office unannounced. I don't move an inch. Well, that is one loaded question!

"What do you mean?" Yep, I am playing dumb.

"I told Ana and Adam this morning that they will be attending the 1 pm meeting and Ana was so excited about it. Then she disappears and when I ask Andrea about her she tells me that she left your office running like a bat running out of hell! So do you mind tell me what happened?"

"We had an argument" I answer shortly finally turning to face her. She gasps once she sees me. Crap! I almost forgot about the punch. So, it left a mark.

"What the hell happened to your face?" I don't response to that and drop myself on my chair instead. "Did Ana do this?" My silence gives her the answer again. She sighs in defeat. "Great. Now I have to look for a new intern" My head snaps up at that.

"Why?" Is she firing Ana because of this?

"Well, it is either you earned that punch which means _she _won't come back. Or you didn't earn it which mean _you _won't want her back" I freeze when Ana's words comes back to me.

_"And I don't want to be a part of anything that is yours. I don't even want to see your sickeningly pretty face ever again"_

She must have not meant this, right? RIGHT? No, Anastasia is a fighter. She will come back, I am sure of it. Or at least I hope she does.

**HOW WAS THAT? Did the fever screw up my brain or did I get that right?**

**The votes were almost equal so I decided to give you the kiss form BOTH point of view which meant more work for me, and I don't really mind writing Ana and CG getting hot and steamy!**

**You have no idea how scared I am of your reaction!**

**Go easy on me, pretty please!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I must say, your reviews made me VERY VERY happy!**

**PS: If you find any resembles between my story and Paging Dr. Steele. It is only because I read this FF more than I read the actual books! Bronze goddess is a genius. Any similar stuff is totally non-intentional and I promise you that this story is very different!**

**I hope this chapter answers your questions.**

**APOV:**

My body doesn't stop shaking until I am inside my apartment and the door is locked behind me. I fall to the ground with my head in my hands. _What the hell just happened? _I shouldn't have reacted that way when he kissed me, I shouldn't have kissed him back! Fuck, now I have no right to call him on his bullshit without calling mine. If I would have pushed him away and punched him earlier, it would have all been his fault and I would have sued his ass but now I can do nothing because I _participated _in the act. I was more than willing.

"Ahhhhhhh" I let out a scream of frustration I have been holding for a while. Why did he have to have this kind of effect on me? It is like the moment he touches me, all thoughts and logic fly out of my mind and all that is left is puddle of desperate desire and urgent hunger.

_Come on, Steele. You need to think positive. The question is not what you did. It is what are you gonna do._

Well, I can take the much easier path and not go back to that place. Or I can go back and face the music. Or I can pretend none of this ever happened.

The first option would be easier but it would mean giving up and running like a coward and I once vowed to myself that I would never be that person again. I will go on with this internship and have the recommendation in my way out after I have proved myself. I am not going to let him chase me away by bullying or even kissing me.

And for option number two, facing the music with Grey will only mean more damage. I think I have proved over and over how little self-control I have around him, either on my temper or my hormones.

So far I am left with the last option. Denial will be my friend from now on. It is just _that _simple.

_Is it now?_

Truth is, I can pretend this kiss never happened all I want but it did. And the way it made me feel is something I can't shake that easily even though I have mastered the art of denial for years. I am practically the Queen Of Denial, I should get myself a tiara. Correction, I should get myself a drink!

A half bottle of wine later and I am sitting in front of my TV with my remote in hand running over the channels for the millionth time and not finding anything worth my time. When did this thing get so silly? You would think they would put some thought into what they air but no, they totally treat the audience like mindless zombies with bags under their eyes, coke in hand and a cheese burger in the other, a sight I am not completely different from now except my coke is a 400-bucks bottle of white wine. Go me!

My phone rings cutting the defeating silence. Yes, I keep the TV mute till I find something to watch, I am not a masochist for a headache. With a heavy arm I reach for my phone expecting it be either Emma or Rose but oh, joy! It is actually my mom. I know for a fact that I will have men with suits on my door in twenty minutes if I don't pick up so I make the wiser decision.

"Hey, Mom" I say in the most unemotional voice I can master. The thing with my mom, if I sound too happy or too sad she won't release me until she gets to the bottom of it. I truly believe my mom has a guilt complex and it is not my fucking fault!

"Hey, Honey. How is it going?" Comes her familiar oh-so happy voice form the other side of the world. Don't get me wrong. It is not that I don't want my mom to be happy. At the end of the day, despite our drama and trauma, I still can't bring myself to hate her or even blame her for more than what she actually did do.

"I am doing just fine. How is the trip around Europe? Did you get to Vanessa yet?" Best way to get my mom distracted, get her to talk about herself.

"It is going great, darling. Actually we are now in Vanessa and our next stop is Paris. You know you can take the next plane and join us. Didn't you always want to go to Paris?"

"It was Rome, Mom"

"Really? I actually thought it was Paris. Well, we will go to Rome too. I think in a couple of weeks. Your sister will catch up with us next weekend. We can be all together" Joy! A family union, how fucking terrific!

"My _step _sister" Just because she is the daughter of your daddy-sugar husband, mom, doesn't mean she is my sister.

"Fine" I can hear her sigh. "You think you can come?"

"I really wish I can but I can't. I started this new job and I can't take a vacation on my first week"

"Yeah. with this Grey guy, right? We are very proud of you, Honey" Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me!

"What did I say about spying on me, mom?"

"I was worried about you, Ana. Rob only wanted to make sure you were okay, that is all" Rob, huh? The guy who once made my own mother kick me out of her 'new' home because I was such a 'bad' influence on his precious little angel. Now he wanted to make sure I am okay? Did I mention how fucking ironic is this?

"No" I shut my eyes tight. _You have to stop blaming them for what happened. He is not the one who raped you. She is not the one who hit you. _Flynn words ring in my head like a mantra. It is not fair that not only do we have to live with our own choices, we also have to live with other people's choices. Because these people are a part of our lives, sometimes they are parts you can't remove. There was a time when I thought cutting all the ties with my mom and her husband would keep me sane but I was wrong. Staying away from them won't undo what already happened. "You wanted to know if I was okay and you know you can do that by ,I don't know, calling me and checking up on me like normal people and not make you rich husband spy on me"

"You are not very forward about what is going on with you. You have never been" Did she just say that? Well, Mom. Remember the time when you couldn't give a fuck? Because I sure as hell do! "Seriously, don't make a big deal out of it"

"Sure" I hang up. Once I drop the phone, it rings again. Seriously, Mom?

"Yes?" I snap over the phone.

"Hello?" The voice greeting me isn't my mom at all. Fuck, it is Rose. I was so caught up in my anger fit I didn't check the caller ID! Now I am trapped, why is she calling? _Maybe because you bail out in the middle of a day work and didn't stop to take permission of your boss? _Oh, Crap.

"Hey, Rose" I say in an overrated cheerful voice. "Sorry, thought you were..someone else" that is smooth!

"Someone else, huh? You mean like the same someone you punched in the face this afternoon, _that someone?_" Son of a bitch! He told her? What are we in preschool or something? How mature of you, Grey. Hit me and go cry to mommy! Well, that brings back memories.

"Am I fired?" I rub my eyes in exhaustion.

"Do you want to be fired?" Is that a trick question?

"What exactly did Mr. Grey tell you had happened?" Shit, did he tell her e_verything? _i feel my checks heat against my better judgment. He wouldn't, would he?

"Nothing" My sigh of relief could blow off the fire of sixty candles. "He wouldn't tell me what happened except that you had an argument" that is one way to put it. "Listen, Ana. I don't care what really happened but you need to know that could never happen again. At first, I admired the fact that you speak your own mind and don't put up with anyone's bullshit. I still do admire that about you. But you also need to understand that a big part of this job is figuring out a productive dynamic between you and Grey. I think you need to work on that" Not that I am actually planning to take this job but if I am gonna learn any shit I need to go with the flow. Meaning I have to make nice with Mr. unpredictable.

"I promise you to try"

"Does that mean you will be back tomorrow?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Did she think I would quit?

"Hmm...Nothing...It is just that Grey gave me that whole lecture about how the new interns are a couple of kids with thin skin who are still not mature enough to handle this world just yet. It made me think that he totally scared you of" She chuckles. Kids? Thin skin? Not mature? Seriously, Grey?

"Huh. See you tomorrow then" _oh, man, would I just LOVE to prove your arrogant ass wrong!_

I think it is fair to say that I have no fucking idea what the hell to think of Christian Grey. His achievements in business world remain admirable. I didn't mean any of the things I said to him regarding his work, I was just bat shit angry and I wanted to hit him where it hurts. And since I was freaking clueless about _where _it does hurt when it comes to Grey I just…lashed out, I guess. But his personality remains a freaking enigma. Is he just a control freak? A dick of a boss? Or is he that cute sweet guy who nursed my sprained ankle? Is he a player who never had a date? Is he a sick boss who harasses his employees? Or is he the man who kissed me like he is dying to have me, like he needs me more than he needs his next breathe?

_Who the fuck are you, Grey?_

I shake my head and drop on my back on the couch. Maybe the background check will shed some light on this puzzle. But if I know one thing, I know I am not backing down of this mess. I am diving right in. maybe it is reckless and maybe I will regret it later but I can't bring myself to run away from it.

My thoughts are cut by the door bell and I jump up to open. Who could that be?

"Jose?" I say once I open the door. He glances up at me and he looks like human shit.

"Annie" using my childhood pet name calls out to the 'Annie' he used to know. I pull him into a tight hug. Jose and I grow up together in Montesano. His dad and Ray were best buddies and so we grow to be. He was my first best friend. The memories we shared together are the brightest in my lifetime. It was all until my mom and Ray got divorced and I moved out with my mom. The day we were separated is one I will never forget. Jose's deep chuckle brings me back to present. There are times when I look at him and I see this boy I knew my whole life. I pull away to let him breathe.

"I can't believe I am gonna say that. But I kinda needed that hug" His smile is sad. And it worries me. I pull him inside and sit him on the couch.

"Now, tell me. What happened?"

"Nothing…It is just.." He rubs the back of his neck.

"Hey" I grab his hand in mine. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it then he places it over his chest pressing it close.

"One of my patients died today" Jose is a surgeon. And even though most surgeons tend to be a little heartless because they already see so much death so they become sort of immune. Jose is different. His heart is still pure. It affects him badly when someone dies in his hands.

"I am sure he or she is in a better place" I rub my other hand over his back in comfort. He tightens his hold on the other but I don't really mind. "You know it wasn't your fault, right?" He nods like he always does but doesn't let go of my hand.

I let Jose stay the night. We don't have sex. My period is still present. And surprisingly I am okay with that. He spoons me as I lay awake. I couldn't sleep a second all night. I lay still as he holds me tight and takes comfort in my presence. We have been each other rock's since we found each other after years of separation. It is like we both remind each other of a happy time. We remind each other that things can be okay if we just want them to be. I am fully aware that I betrayed him today when I kissed Christian Grey back. I made a mistake and it will never happen again. I already know that Jose deserve much more than me but according to him, he has been in love with me since forever and I am the only girl who can make him happy. Who am I to deny him the happiness he sakes? Who am I to ruin it now? I am no fucking body. The best thing I aspire to have is to be a source of happiness to the people who make my life less miserable. Too selfless? Wait a second. That is not it, there is more to this.

I lay awake and my thoughts drift back to hunger gray eyes, unforgiving, demanding, piercing, challenging, threatening to invade me to the core. I curl tighter into Jose's arms.

Christian Grey is a fucking tsunami and Jose is my first armory.

That is how selfish I am.

See?

**CPOV:**

My 1 PM meeting took more than I wanted it to. Now I am entering the building where Flynn's office is. This time I have booked an appointment so the secretary lets me in immediately. Thank fuck for that. John's eyebrows jump up to his hairline when he sees me. Must be the black eye I am sporting today. To be honest, his reaction is the mildest I got today. Jesus, people! Never seen a man with a black eye?

"Care to explain?"

"I found her" I say pointing at my right eye. I honestly couldn't resist rubbing it in his smug face.

"Found who?" His face is impassive so I don't know if he is playing dumb or not. It doesn't really matter.

"Anastasia Steele" I say the name slowly as a grin forms on my face.

"Ana did that to you?" And that is the priceless look I was looking forward to. It is not every day I get to see my shrink totally floored. "Why?"

"I kissed her" I shrug like it is no big deal.

"You kissed her?" I chuckle because I can't believe that I turned John into a broken record. This day just keeps on getting more memorable and peculiar all thanks to Ms. Steele.

"It is a long story" I bite my lip to suppress another grin.

"Why don't you walk me through it? Let's start with how you found her. I hope it has nothing to do with me" He warns.

"Keep your professional pants on, it had nothing to do with you" I see the corners of his mouth twitch in amusement but he just keeps a straight face.

"Please. Do tell" He leans back on his chair and I start recapping my eventful week in the company of Ms. Steele. He just listens, nods and writes some stuff in his little notebook from now to then. I couldn't help but wonder If Ana has told him about me and he was faking his surprise by all this but the interest in his eyes tells me otherwise. Does that mean Ana hasn't been here since the day we first met or does that mean she didn't mention me? I secretly hope for the former.

"So let me get this straight" John says once I am finished. "Ana is your new intern" So it looks like everyone does call her Ana, even her shrink. "You wanted to know more about her so you tried to get closer. She didn't let you so instead of trying a different way, you chose an easier path by using your powers to request a high level of background check on her. The kind of background check you can only do on someone if he is marrying your mother. She told you not once but twice how her privacy matters to her so you knew this would piss her off yet you still did it. Then when she knew and confronted you, you kissed her and then she punched you and ran away, does that cover it all?"

"She kissed me back" I point out.

"You sound pretty pleased with this fact" John smiles his 'Gotcha' smile. Dammit, the fucker left that part out because he wanted me to point it out. "That is one loaded story, Christian but let's start simple. Do you think you had the right to do what you did?" The right to kiss her or the right to look deep into her past? "To do this kind of background check?"

"I wouldn't have done this If she wasn't being so difficult" I run my hand through my hair.

"That doesn't answer my question"

"Goddamn it, Flynn. What was I supposed to do?" He sighs.

"Christian. I understand it is the way you are used to do things. You ask for what you want and if it is not given to you, you find a way to take it anyway. And that may work perfectly with you in business relationships but personal relationships are different. It must be built on trust and respect. How do you expect Ana to ever trust or respect you if you keep on disrespecting her and her wishes?" Just when I am about to say that I don't need her trust or respect, I realize what a lie it would be. It felt good when she told me that she admires my work. I will never admit it but for some reason it would please me if she admires me as a person as well. For the first time in my life, I actually care what people think of me. I stay silent, though. "I want you to realize that what you did was wrong in so many levels"

"And what good will that do me?"

"Because you are going to apologize to Ana for that and you are going to mean it" I have to laugh at that.

"Yeah, like that is gonna happen" Me apologizing? Not in this lifetime, baby! And certainly not to Ms. Sassy Pants.

"It is the only way you can fix it"

"She punched me!" I realize I sound like a whiny kid but I don't care. I am not apologizing to _her._

"Because you earned it. Speaking of, you think she punched you because you invaded her privacy or because you kissed her?"

"Haha. Very funny" I honestly have no idea why she punched me. "But I can tell you she was really into it" _Really really into it. She nearly let me fuck her against that wall! Fuck, I feel my skin heating every time I remember the way she bit my lip!_

"Have you considered the possibility that she may be unavailable at all?" John's voice startles me a little. His question surprises me more.

"She wouldn't have reacted to me that way if she was" I shake my head chasing the possibility away.

"But you are not sure?" He insists with his eyes narrowed. It suddenly occurs to me that he is her shrink as well.

"What are trying to say, Flynn?" I am tired of his fucking mind games.

"Nothing. Have you considered telling Ana about your feelings for her?"

"Feelings?" I don't have _feelings _for anyone!

"Then what would you like your interest in her?"

"Wanting to fuck a woman doesn't make you interested in her, John"

"Oh, then Enlighten me, Christian. Does your 'whatever' in Ana stop at sexual desire? If that is all why did you asked for this background check? I don't think you need to know all this about a woman just because you want to sleep with her" I think John's manners remove the word 'fuck' from his vocabulary.

"She is just a puzzle I can't solve that is all. I can't figure her out and it unnerves me. That is why I wanted this background check" Right? John gives me a look that tells me he doesn't believe me but will drop it for now.

"What kind of relationship do you see yourself having with her then? Do you want her to be your submissive?" I have to laugh at that as well.

"Ms. Steele is sure many things but she is no submissive. Dammit, I had her pinned against a wall, completely immobilized her and still she won't submit, not one bit" I feel this ache again. It is insane. How my body calls for her touch even when she is not around. And it scares the shit out of me.

"How did you feel about that?" I stay silent. "Did it bother you?" I shake my head and pick an imaginary line of my pants. A few moments passed before either of us speak again.

"I.." I clear my throat. "I liked it" My voice is barely audible. John doesn't comment. Thank fuck for that.

"Christian" I look up and right now I feel totally lost. So out of control. I am a man with no plan for the first time in years. "Do you think you want to 'date' Ana?" He stresses the word 'date' like he wants me to notice it. I know totally what he means.

"I don't know" Hell will freeze over before I manage to be in a normal relationship, that is what I know.

"Well, I think this is enough for today" He stands up and I follow suit. "You have had a long day. Now I want you to think a little about what happened and about what we talk about in the session" it is like he is giving me an assignment or something. I want to laugh. "And try to be less impulsive. You don't want to get a matching left eye" I don't miss the humor under his tone. The bastard is enjoying this. I throw him a glare and leave without a word.

Once I am out of the building his words come back to me…

_"Have you considered the possibility that she may be unavailable at all?"_

I didn't have the time to check the rest of the information Welch got for me. Not being able to wait until I check, I dial Welch.

"Mr. Grey" he answers immediately.

"Welch, what is Ms. Steele's relationship status?" I get straight to the point.

"Unclear, Sir"

"What do you mean unclear?" I resist the urge to squeeze my phone to pieces.

"We know she is not married" Aren't you a genius? "She lives alone" That is a good sign. "But she is a very private person, Mr. Grey. I am a hair shy from investigating her closest friends"

"Well, do whatever necessary. I want this information tonight or at the very least tomorrow's early morning. If you have to sleep at her porch, do it"

"Yes, Sir" I hang up and I catch Taylor's eyes in the reviewing mirror and he is giving me this odd look again. I narrow my eyes on him and he looks away.

"Welcome home, Mr. Gr.." I am welcomed by the gasp of my housekeeper. This woman has seen a lot but this is news.

"Kissed a girl, she punched me. It was totally worth it, though" I say simply leaving behind a stunned Mrs. Jones.

Have I always been this predictable?

At 1 am, I lay awake in my bed. Mrs. Jones offered me some special face mask that can make the black eye go away faster but I refused. I don't feel good about putting a fucking mask on my face. I am a guy, Dammit! Beside, the black eye makes it all real. I almost can't believe what happened today. My mind is racing with memories and thoughts. What will be Ms. Steele's attitude tomorrow? I made sure she will be at GEH by a little trick of mine. I smirk remembering the speech I gave to Rose to give her the impression that I expect Ana to quit. I knew she will mention it to her. And Ms. Steele's pride and stubbornness won't let her quit. She will be determined to disappoint me and prove my expectations wrong.

_Oh, Ms. Steele. You are so much fun._

**Please don't hate me!**

**This chapter was kinda of the aftermath of the kiss, the consequences.**

**I hope Jose and Ana relationship's importance is clearer now. I will later explain the reason they got together in the first place.**

**Shit will hit the fan more in next chapter!**

**Yes, it actually can get worse ;)**

**I need to say it again. This story is a slow-burn one. If you want to read a story where Ana and CG jump in bed in chapter 2, that is not the story you want. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Hettyblue: Ana isn't**** sacrificing**** her happiness. She doesn't think she actually can have any sort of happiness more than what she has right now. She is 'settling' for Jose because she doesn't think she can have more, he is a nice guy, he is her friend and he reminds her of a better version of herself, a version she can be when she is around him, he loves her and she loves him too. Except it is not the kind of love she is after. So she still secretly wants more. Remember when she said in chapter one "Wanting more than I deserve" that is Ana's case with Jose. There is more of course but i wanted to make it clear that Ana's not being that selfless especially right now because she is using her relationship with Jose to protect herself from whatever she is feeling for Grey. Is it clear, Love?**

**Anniegrey12: Jose isn't a saint. He is a saint in Ana's eyes, there is a difference. I am terribly sorry because you feel this way about Ana. But I did say she will be different for the books, right? And about Ana and CG moments, there are more to come. Tell me if you liked this one.**

**Rosiekin: Well, Christian definitely agrees with you, which is why he is not going to apologize. Not gonna happen. Although personally I do believe he went a little too far. And Ana is sensitive because she is keeping secrets but she believes that her secrets don't concern him because it is personal and has nothing to do with their work. the detailed back ground check you are talking about can go as far as criminal and medical records, maybe even family connections because of the sensitivity of Grey's position and the people he is dealing with but seriously what does that have to do with her high school records? Now he is just being nosy, in my opinion. And Ana did tell Grey that she may accept or refuse their offer when the internship is over. Business doesn't know fair ;) **

**On with a shorty teeny weeny chapter because I felt like posting today ;)**

**CPOV:**

She is hiding from me.

Well, not exactly hiding but she is avoiding me. Understandable, though. It must have taken her a great courage to come here today. She can't hide from me forever and she knows that. I don't mind giving her some space to be honest. See? I am trying to be thoughtful, understanding,…

Oh, who am I kidding?! I am only okay with it because I am still waiting on Welch to give me the information I asked for. The possibilities are endless. She could have a boyfriend, could be in an open relationship, friends with benefits, casual sex… I wince at the thought of some fucker putting his hands on Anastasia. Damn you, Welch. What the hell is taking him so long?! It is 9 am in the morning.

Just when I decide to call Welch and fire his incompatible ass, my blackberry rings with an e-mail from him. I open it immediately.

_To: Christian Grey_

_Subject: Ms. Steele's relationship status_

_From: Welch_

_Mr. Grey,_

_As advised, I have been watching Ms. Steele's house all night. She only had one visitor. He came at 9:38 PM last night and left at 7:00 AM in the morning. I am working on identifying him. I am sending you picture of him leaving in the morning attached to that e-mail._

_Awaiting any further instructions, Sir._

_Welch, Head of security of GEH._

I open the pictures and the face I see is familiar. Fuck! It is the same fucker who had his arm around her in Glee. And now he spent the night with her! I feel my blood boiling and my grip on my phone tightens.

"Ahhhhh" I growl throwing the phone into the wall and watch in satisfaction as it falls down in pieces. I storm from my office looking for one person.

No more hiding Ms. Steele. Truth time.

She is not on her desk. I scan the place with my eye and spot her walking to the coffee room. I don't waste a minute and walk over to her. I grab her upper arm and drag her to the coffee room shutting the door behind us.

"Make a move, or come any closer and I will go bananas on you. I have been doing Krav Maga for years" She warns once I release her arm. I can't say I am not surprised. But I somehow knew she could take care of herself. Now that I know for sure, it gives me some weird sense of peace.

"Should I be scared?" I challenge stepping closer to her. She holds her ground.

"Oh, you better unless you want me to kick your ass" Aren't you a cocky little thing?! I would laugh if I wasn't so fucking angry with her right now.

"I'd like to see you try" I really do. That is not a threat. Ana in a fight, yes, definitely something I would like to watch. Even now, she is just a little ready to fight and her eyes are wide, her checks are flushed. I can only imagine what a real to god honest fight will do to her gorgeous body. _Focus, Grey. She just spent the night with another man, Dammit. _"That is not what we are here for. You are distracting me"

"Oh, really" She crosses her arms over her chest. The move highlights her prefect boobs and pushes them up. "Do tell. What are we here for?"

"First, uncross your arms" I wave a lazy hand in her direction.

"Really? Why don't you ask me to face the wall and rise my hands up as well? Maybe do a little dance on one leg. Whoever told you it was okay to treat people like they are your puppets!" She spits out. I frown. That is definitely not what I meant at all.

"You totally misunderstood my meaning. I can't have a conversation with you while you are pushing your tits in my face making me wonder if I should fuck them before or after I fuck your smart sassy mouth" She gasps and drops her arms immediately. Her face is painted red and she looks horrified. "Good. That is better" She opens her mouth, I am sure ready with another smart-ass comment but I cut her off. "Do you have a boyfriend?" I ask because I don't want to make assumptions or maybe because a part of me still has a little hope that it is not true. _Hope? _Well, that is a new thing. She looks taken back by my question at first.

"Not that it is any of your business but yes I do" she answers simply and I feel my control slipping away. I have to close my eyes and count to ten before I open them again.

"You didn't think it was appropriate to inform me of that fact before I almost fucked you against the wall yesterday" I am so mad right now.

"As I recall you didn't give me much time to talk before you attacked me" Her tone is cool but she is not meeting my eyes. Is she implying that I harassed her?! Unbelievable! She is un-fucking-believable. I step closer to her and she takes a step back matching mine. I corner her until her back hits the wall and she glares up at me even though she knows she is now trapped.

"As I recall it was your tongue you were thrusting down my throat" I say placing my palm flat on the wall beside her head. We are so close but not touching. I feel the electricity running between our bodies. The moment is charged with sexual tension. But I am angry, I am so goddamn angry I am not sure she would survive it if I fuck her right now. Another infamous staring contest takes place for a few minutes which I win when she looks down finally. She sighs and I feel her warm breathe on my neck, a shiver run through my body but thankfully she doesn't feel it. _Control, Grey!_

"Mr. Grey. Whatever happened yesterday including me punching you was not only a terrible mistake but also highly unprofessional. I can promise you it will never happen again and I would like you to give me the same promise" She says in one breath without looking up to meet my eyes. She looks likes she has been practicing on that speech. Well, I am not buying it.

**APOV:**

"Mr. Grey. Whatever happened yesterday including me punching you was not only a terrible mistake but also highly unprofessional. I can promise you it will never happen again and I would like you to give me the same promise" I say the words I have been practicing on since I woke up. He is so close to me. I feel the heat coming out of his body, his smell, his vibe, almost making me dizzy. But I can't lose it again, I have to be strong.

"Unprofessional my ass" He snores "You were rubbing yourself against me like a fucking cat on heat"

"Christian!" I gasp feeling horrified. He is hitting me where it hurts. I already feel guilty and now he is pouring fucking salt on my wound and stepping on it with his shoe.

"Did you let him fuck you last night to finish what I started? Were he able to do the job or did you have to imagine it was me fucking you instead?" He is still talking. Saying horrible things that will be stuck forever in my head, reminding me what a poor excuse of a girlfriend I have been. I feel the burning behind my eyeballs threatening the upcoming of waterworks. No, not in front of his smug face, no way. His tone is dripping with venom. He is disgusted by me. I am disgusted by me too but I am sure as hell not going to show it to him. I let my guards down once, only once with this man and he used it in the most horrible way. He is using it against me now, using the moment of my weakness. Well, hell if I am gonna let him.

"Do you want me to punch you again?" Seriously if he doesn't step away in the next minute, he will lose hope in making any assholes of babies because I am about to knee him in the nuts and I am so fucking angry which means it will do some serious damage. I am not exaggerating, I swear.

"Do you want me to kiss you again?" He shoots right back. His gray eyes daring, staring mine with a burning challenge. And for a second he looks like he will kiss me again.

"You are so fucking full of yourself" I utter before I walk around him and leave him behind. I am so fucking done here. I don't even want my tea.

"Bet you would rather be full of me, wouldn't you?" his taunting voice follows me as I reach the door. That is it. I turn to face him and he is leaning against the wall. I am thankful for the distance.

"You are a fucking asshole, Grey. I hate you" I put as much anger behind my words as I can. I see something flashes in his eyes and for a moment I thought he might actually care that I hate his guts. But just as fast as it comes, it goes. And his arrogant taunting face is back with vengeance.

"Oh, but you love what I do to you" He says with a smirk.

"Go to hell" I throw behind my shoulder before I snitch the door open.

"I am working on it" I think I hear him say before the door slams behind me.

_I will surely meet you there. You may be an asshole but I am guilty as well, guilty as charged._

I finally let the tears come down.

**Grey may have won this round but he didn't win the war.**

**Told ya it could get worse, TiffanyNida69 ;)**


	15. Chapter 15

**TiffanyNida69: I am honored to be your drug dealer ;)**

**OKAY, so that is the absolutely LAST time I am going to say that, Ana is different in my story. Darker, more complicated and stronger as well. And she is not a virgin. If that is not your type, don't waste your time with her or me. Sorry! Any reviews regarding this topic will be ignored from now on! My Ana may have some low self-esteem issues but they understandable for what she went through, try to go through that and tell me how much self-respect you will have left. And she didn't settle with Jose because he is **_**lonely or insecure. **_**She settled for him because he is a **_**good caring **_**guy who loves her since his childhood. So she sure as hell not a fucking embarrassment to female gender.**

**SORRY, had to defend the character I love!**

**Moving on ;)**

**APOV:**

There is a few things I do when I am too stressed or in need of a distraction. I can do some gun-shooting, kick some ass in the gym with Kenji, dance like it is the end of the world, or sometimes when I really REALLY need a distraction, I bake.

Therefore, I started baking cookies last night and didn't stop until my feet wouldn't carry me and my eyes wouldn't open. That made me end up with a dozen pounds of cookies, all kind of cookies that I can't finish alone in less than three years. My giving side was on a roll so I decided to spread the joy of my cookies. Kevin and David got A LOT per requested. I packed some for Emma and some for the married couple. After all that, I didn't even get rid of half of them so I extended the feast to my work place. Rose, Adam, Andrea and Olivia all took their shares and now I am sitting on my desk eating cookies that would gain me ten pounds if it wasn't for my natural fast metabolism. Sorry, Ladies! However, it is a good thing I brought all these cookies with me. Rose just gave us her idea of homework which is the entire business GEH engaged in through this week. She gave us the whole weekend to study and report back to her Monday morning. And while Adam announced that he will take his homework home, I decided to finish most of it here. For two reasons. One, because I hate taking my work home. Two, because here I can find anything I need during working on it, any documents or reports are close to reach. So since I have only today and tomorrow before the weekend starts, I asked Rose if I can stay late here and she said it was okay. When I asked her when they will kick me out, she said the lights will come off at ten which is more than enough for me. So it is a good thing to have the cookies with me, I say.

"Ana, these little fuckers are a crime to human health. I will turn you in for this" Adam declares as he devours his cookies.

"That good, huh?" I chuckle but couldn't help my blush. I love baking most of all kinds of cooking. I actually love baked stuff therefore I love baking. When I love something that much, I tend to excel in it.

"Are you kidding me?! I am ready to marry you for this!"

"You would marry a girl for her cookies?" I raise my eyebrow trying to suppress laughter.

"Hell yeah! Everything goes away eventually. "This" He holds one cookie up like it is world cup. "This is what really matters" I couldn't help my laughter anymore. "Holy mother of Molly!" Adam's eyes widen suddenly and his jaw drops. He is looking at something behind me. I turn to see what got him that stunned and I see one gorgeous girl walking the hall like she is a model in a fashion show. I look her up and down. I am as straight as they come but I can appreciate beauty when I see it, no matter what gender it comes in. And this girl is hot as fuck I am telling you. I turn back to Adam and he is still staring. My chuckle snaps him of his trance and he looks down a little blush showing on his face.

"Hey, Adam" he looks up faking innocence. "Here" I rub my chin. "I think you have some drool on your chin"

"What?" his hand flies to his chin. He glares at me when he finds it dry, I just laugh. "Haha. Very funny, Ana. You are hilarious"

"I know. Everyone tells me that" I say in a fake cockiness. He just shakes his head at me. My eyes follow the black haired beauty and she is stopped by Andrea when she tries to enter Grey's office. What is up with that?!

"Hey, welcome back from your trip" Andrea says with a friendly smile. "Did you have a good flight?"

"It was great. Thank you, Andrea" She grins and Dammit, it makes her look even more pretty. "Is Christian in here?" Whoa, she is referring to him by his first name? Who the hell is that chick?

"Mr. Grey is in a meeting now"

"It is okay. I will wait for him inside. He doesn't know I arrived two days earlier. I want to surprise him" How about I surprise you with my fist in your prefect nose?

_What?!_

I just realize the cookie I have been holding in my hand turned to powder and there is a mess on my desk. I grab a tissue and start gathering the remains to throw them in the trash can. What the hell is wrong with you, Steele? So what if some beautiful girl is on that personal level with him. I try to tell myself that but my mind is running with possibilities. Girlfriend? Ex-girlfriend? Fuck-buddy? Wife? Ex-wife?

"No way" Rose says slowly as she walks in. "Princess Mia Grey has graced us with her presence" What? Say what? Fuck, she is his wife?! But she is so young, can't be older than twenty years old! He is fucking married to a fucking twenty-year old hot stuff? I think I am gonna be sick! _What the hell is your__ deal, Steele? _The little princess giggles and hugs Rose like they are old friends. Sure, she is the wife of our boss. Fuck fuckery!

"You look as good as ever, Rose" Princess Perfect says when they are done hugging.

"And you look totally different from the last time I saw you" Did she used to look like an old rug and had to travel to London to have tons of plastic surgeries? Man, I need help.

"Sexier, right?" She giggles and her giggle is cut off by _her husband_. I still can't believe this shit.

"Mia" His voice is supposed to be warning but it has a hint of surprise and a hint of joy. More emotions than his tone ever had when he talks to his employees.

_Except when he was kissing one certain employee of his._

The thought makes me smirk a little and throws some water on my temper. Don't even get me started on how wrong this is!

_"Are you done?"_

His voice comes back to haunt me with the last words he said before he attacked my lips with his.

"Christoo" Mia squeals and runs to him. She jumps in his arms and he wraps them around her immediately lifting her weight of the ground. I think I just thrown up in my mouth a little bit. I see a grin on his face, a so fucking rare one.

"When did you come back?" He says as he puts her down.

"Just three hours ago. I wanted to surprise you" She gasps once she gets a closer look at his face. "OMG what on earth happened to your eye? Christian, please tell me you weren't in a fight!" Whoaps! It oddly makes me feel good. Like I left my mark on him or something! When have I become a fucking sadist?

"No, it was not a fight" He assures immediately. She opens her mouth to ask but he cuts her off. "It is a long story" He says simply and I swear his eyes drift to me for a quarter of a second. "But forget about this now…what the hell are you wearing?" Mr. Control freak scolding his young wife for what she is wearing. Why am I not surprised? "Did mom see you in this sorry excuse of a skirt?" _What?_

"Sexy, right?" She grins playfully.

"MIA!" His tone is warning, scolding. Like a father talking to his disobedient child. Again, not surprised.

"What?" Her eyes widen innocently. Fuck, she looks even younger now! "Oh come on, Christian. I am not your little baby sister anymore" She whines. _What? Little baby sister? _You know these moments when you want to slap the back of your own head, yeah that is one of them. And let's just say I am glad my sigh of relief wasn't heard. Of course she is his sister! Beauty must run in the family!

"Correction, you will always be my little baby sister even when you are eighty years old and only move by a wheelchair" Suddenly my whole review of the situation shifts and I am taken back by the cuteness of this sibling moment. That is a whole new side of Christian Grey to uncover. He looks like a guy who adores his baby sister. "Now can we please continue you this conversation in my office where not half my employees can watch us?" Again, the eye drifting. It is like he doesn't want me to see this side of him.

"Half your employees? Now you are exaggerating. It is only Rose and Andrea" She scans the place. "And he is cute" She says pointing at Adam. I chuckle knowing his poor heart must have skipped a beat. "But you are new" She tilts her head to the side examining me. I try not to feel like the new kid in high school being examined by the most popular girl.

"That is sexist. He is new too" I say half-jokingly trying not to sound nervous. So what if Grey's sister is talking to me?!

"Oh, don't pout. You are pretty too" She grins and looks so genuine I want to blush. "I like your hair. Is it a natural color? Are you wearing extensions?" She keeps blabbing on not giving me a chance to answer. She is adorable! "Oh, sorry. Where are my manners" She steps closer and extends her hand to me. "I am Mia Grey. This jerk's sister. You?"

"Anastasia Steele" I shake her hand. "An intern of Rose and a happy employee of this j…" I cover what I was gonna say with a nervous laugh. She can call her brother names but you can't. _At least not in public. _"your brother"

"Nice to meet you, Anastasia"

"Just call me Ana, please. Everyone does" Except your brother.

"Okay, Ana it is. Although I like your full name. I always wanted a longer name. Mine is so short. Christian is too common. But Elliot is a little lame. Mia is a little short but it is good" I have no idea what to say to that so I offer her a cookie from my bowl of cookies.

"Here, but not if you are on a diet. I made them myself. They are not diet friendly" I warn. But she takes one anyway. Oh, will you know it? I actually like this girl now. "A cookie, Mr. Grey?" I offer because I haven't totally forgotten my manners and because he isn't one of the happy receivers of my cookies gifts. He picks one carefully, like he thinks I may poison him or something!

"Hmmm" Mia's loud moan pulls my attention from Mr. Grey. "Oh my gosh! They are really good! You made these? You have to give me the recipe! I have been studying cooking in Europe for years and I still don't think I can make these cookies!" She is so sweet. I can't help feeling flattered.

"That is all so great" Grey cuts off his sister for the tenth time. she doesn't look offended. Maybe she is used to his jackass behavior by now. He grabs Mia's hand. "Would you please stop harassing my employees?" I look at him and my cookie isn't in his hand anymore which means he ate it…or threw it away.

"She wasn't…" I begin on Mia's defense.

"They have work to do" He explains to Mia totally ignoring me. _Asshole_.

"Oh, but she is so nice. I like her" She turns to me. "I will see you again, Ana" He starts dragging her to his office. "Wait, I didn't even get to know the cutie's name" Is her last protest before he pushes her gently into his office.

"It is Adam.." Adam starts but is cut off by Grey shutting the door. "Adam Parker" He mutters under his breath.

"Careful, Parker" Says Christian as he reopens the door and pops his head out in a totally out of character act. But the warning is clear and load, though. I glance at the poor kid and shrug. First, the boss's daughter, now the boss's little sister.

He must have read my mind because he says "Ana, do you know a good witch? I think I might be cursed"

And my dorky laugh rocks the walls.

**CPOV:**

It is true. Anastasia Steele does hate me.

And no, I am not so happy about it.

I finally got myself to admit that I actually care that she hates me. To say I was on edge for the past two days would be an understatement. Angry Ana I can handle, hell I would fire someone to get an Angry Ana now. But this cold ignoring-you-to-death acting-like-you-don't-exist-or-matter Ana is frustrating. I never knew what someone giving you a cold shoulder feels like until now. Not because no one ever gave me this treatment but mainly because I never cared to acknowledge it. I expected more from her after my little outburst two days ago. Fuck, there was a time when I even expected her to burst into my office and kick me in the nuts. But then I figured out her game.

_Is she really sick of me? Was it true, what she said?_

The fact that this gives me a sense of sadness frustrated me even more. Truth be told, I was a little fascinated watching her interaction with Mia. She was so nice to her even though Mia have the potential to be the most annoying whiny girl on earth. _Why can't she be that nice to me? _Maybe because you tend to be an asshole every time you speak to her. Oh, that is why.

Still, I am not going to fucking apologize. She wronged me first when she kissed me back while she had a boyfriend at home. She crossed the line of professionalism right in the same moment I did and she can't now blame me for bitching at her for what she did. She did something wrong and she had to be punished. So why do I feel like the one being punished here?

_Man, she is good._

After watching everyone eating cookies all day I finally got to know the source of them and I was a little surprised when it turned out to be Ana. When she finally let me taste them, I was also a little angry that I didn't get my share. I mean I may have earned it but boy, were they fucking delicious! I had to suppress a moan so I don't make a fool of myself like my sister did. It also didn't help that Mia kept asking me questions about Ana the cookie wizard for the fifty minutes she spent with me.

It is 8 pm now and the building is mostly empty. I am the boss so I like to be the last one to leave but today I don't want to go home. I haven't been able to catch any sleep for the past two days and to top it all the nightmares are back. I woke up covered in sweat this morning. I swear sometimes it is not even worth it to go to sleep.

Deciding going back home is inevitable, I gather my stuff and just when I am leaving my office I hear something that looks like music. It is coming from Rose's office. Weird, Rose never stays late unless it is necessary. I walk over and the door is slightly open. Peeking through it, the first thing I see is legs. _Long creamy prefect-shaped fine legs_, bare feet popped up on the desk. It doesn't take me long to recognize them as Ms. Steele's. I am amused by how tiny her little feet are. Sometimes I forget how tiny she actually is. She looks lost in her own world. Working as the music fills the room. I watch like the pervert I must be for doing this. But fuck me, I miss her. I even miss messing with her. A new song begins and she drops the papers from her hands suddenly. She yawns and stretches her body. The moves bring my attention to her magnificent boobs. Yeah, I know, I am going to hell but that is no news. She stands up and I fear she saw me but then she closes her eyes and raises her arms over head. She looks like how she would look if she is bound to the cross in my playroom. The image distracts me for a moment while she starts to move. It takes me a second to realize what she is actually doing.

_She is dancing!_

And it is different from the time I watched her dance in the club. Not only because she is now dancing alone but also because she is dancing for no one's pleasure but her own. It is not erotic, it is spiritual.

_And every demon wants his pound of flesh__  
><em>_But I like to keep some things to myself__  
><em>_I like to keep my issues drawn__  
><em>_It's always darkest before the dawn_

_And I've been a fool and I've been blind__  
><em>_I can never leave the past behind__  
><em>_I can see no way, I can see no way__  
><em>_I'm always dragging that horse around_

_Our love is pastured, such a mournful sound__  
><em>_Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground_

If I didn't feel like an obtrusive asshole before, I do right now. It is like she is giving herself away to the music. Dancing her soul out, battling her demons with her moves. It is too personal, too soulful. And I can't look away. My jaw is on the ground and my eyes are following her every move. It is like I can figure her out if I concentrate hard enough.

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa  
>Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa<br>And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back  
>So shake him off, oh whoa<em>

I could swear I see a tear running from her closed eyes and down her check but I am not sure because the next thing I know she drops to the ground like a dead body once the song ends. A part of me wants to clap and another part is a little worried that she hurt herself from the fall. In a minute the next song starts up and I see something I never thought I would_. She starts laughing_. Holding-her-stomach rolling-on-the-floor laughter-shaking-the-walls tears-escaping-her-eyes kind of laughing. First, I am a little worried for her sanity but then I find myself smiling like a fucking idiot. She is so beautiful. So unfairly beautiful. Her hair is laid around her beautiful face like a dark halo. How accurate! After a good minute of laughter she gets up, walks over to pick her ipad, and skips the laughable song shaking her head. Soft music fills the room as she takes her place back on Rose's desk. I guess her little break is over.

I leave the building with a smile. Somehow I know the nightmares won't get me tonight. I am almost sure my dreams will be filled with a dancing brown-haired girl.

**The song Ana was dancing at is Shake it out by Florence. It is such a great song, you might wanna hear it if you haven't. The next one that made her laugh is ****Semisonic - F.N.T.**** from the soundtrack of 10 Things I Hate About You. Who doesn't love that movie!**

**Hope you liked it!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello again!**

**The reviews of last chapters were all so heart-warmly great! I am so happy!**

**PS: anyone feels free to correct any grammar or vocabulary mistakes. I admitted that English isn't my first language and I am not graced by a beta so it is understandable to have some mistakes. No offense taken!**

**APOV: **

Friday nights. How one spends his Friday nights can tell you a lot about that person. I have been a college student nerd and I have been a party-all-nigh-long college student but I have never been one to spend my Friday night working. So yeah, At 6 PM I decided that enough is enough and the last touches of my homework can be done…well, at home. Rules are made to be broken anyway. When have you ever heard of one that wasn't? Right…

So it is 7 PM and I just got home because traffic was a bitch. People are out partying somewhere and I am ready to hug my bed to death. Nice. I tell myself that I won't let her turn into a crazy workaholic bitch and it is just a temporary learning phase where I have to bend to my bosses' wills. Rose's to be specific, not Mr. Grey. Who hasn't been very social or talky to me for the past four days but hey who is counting!

Not that I miss his hot angry glares, his annoying invading gazes, his burning with hunger gray eyes, his demanding presence, his voice, his harsh words, his asshole ego and his sweet caring one, his hard strong touch and his soft gentle one, his lips…his tongue…his hands…his body…against mine…

Nope, I don't miss any of this. Why the hell would I?!

The phone rings and I am saved from my own mind by the bell. It is Wade. Good, I have been waiting for this.

"Hey, buddy" Yep, I am cool. I am not gonna ask why it took him bloody five days to dig after Grey. Damn John and his infectious British accent!

"Ana, how are you?"

"Dead tired. I just got back from work and it has been one long week!" So if you got something you want to say…

"Oh, really?" He is quiet for a second and I hear the sound of papers in the background. "I thought you could come up for a meeting. I just finished working on your man"

"My man?"

"Christian Grey" _Yes!_ "It took a little longer than I expected. Some stuff was buried a little deeper. I had to use different connections so the trail won't lead to me. You don't want this guy to know you are digging after him, do you?" I shiver imagining Grey's face if he knows. God no!

"What do you think?!" Not that I am scared of him but no need to get into more trouble with this man. If my two weeks with him told me anything, it is that this is not a man you would want to cross. Ever. "Well, thank you. Wade. But I am not gonna come up for a 'meeting'. I am not a client, dummy. Unless you wanna charge me" I chuckle.

"Of course I wanna charge you! Do you think this information is cheap? You pay in cookies and we got them in advance" I laugh and he joins in. "Listen, if you are tired we can meet on Monday or even tomorrow if you want to"

"Hmmm" On one hand, I am dead tired but on the other one, I am actually dying for this information. "Where are you?"

"I am at my office but I just finished I am going home"

"Is Hannah home?"

"No" He sighs and I don't miss the anger under his tone. "She is stuck at work again" Oh, James. When will you learn that you can't push a man like Wade too far?! It is not James' fault, though and I know it. Hannah thinks staying home just because she is pregnant is a betrayal to the feminist in all of us. I disagree.

"She is still working? When is she due?"

"In five days actually"

"And you let her go to work?" You would think a guy like Wade wouldn't give up that easily and let her do what she pleases when he clearly disagree.

"I don't 'let' Hannah do anything, you know that" I know she is as stubborn as me, yes. "She loves to work, I can't take it away from her just because I knocked her up" This man is a fairytale. Too sweet for his own good.

"So I take it she isn't gonna cook dinner tonight?" Not that Hannah cooks much.

"I thought I would grab something for us on the way before I pick Bella up from her grandma" He doesn't know where I am going with this.

"Who would you kill for a homemade meal for you and your family?" I sing.

"Probably this James fucker, your point?" I can almost see him narrowing his eyes at me.

"You can come up here and pick the meals up while you give me my requested information" I offer.

"I don't know…" I cut him off.

"Come on, Wade. You really want your four year old daughter eating street food?" The poor girl needs some healthy food in her.

"It is not that, okay? You just said you are tired! Now you want to cook for four people!" He protests but I am already heading to my kitchen.

"Three, I already ate" I correct pulling ingredients out of my fridge. "But you know cooking isn't a problem for me. Seriously, it is no big deal" Some manual work will be good for me after so much mental work.

"Okay, fine" he gives up like I knew he would. "I will be there in twenty minutes"

Thirty minutes later we are sitting in my living room. His packed meals are on the table next to the file he brought with him. He insisted to walk me through them quickly and then leave me the file to look into it as much as I please. Wade is sorta old-fashion businessman. He likes papers and doesn't believe in using too much computerized information. For wade, information is papers. So he is about to spread them in my coffee table.

"Let's start with the basics. Family. Father, Carrick Grey. A straight tie lawyer who runs his own firm. The guy is a legend. You might wanna ask David about him. He is totally clean" he hands me a paper with a picture of handsome fifty-something man on the top of it. The man who is supposed to be Christian's father but looks nothing like him. "Next, Mother, Dr. Grace Trevelyan Grey. Head doctor of General Seattle Hospital. Main founder of a huge charity organization. The woman could be an angel as well" He hands me another paper. His mom is a beautiful woman but still looks nothing like him. What's up with that? "Three adopted kids. Elliot, the elder one, is an engineer and a head constructer, the founder and owner of _Grey Construction_. Engaged to be married. Mia is the youngest. She is studying cooking arts in Europe, mainly Paris…" I cut him off.

"She just got back two days ago" He gives me a questioning look. "I met her" My eyes widen as I just take in what he said. "Hold on a second, Christian is adopted?" That would explain why he doesn't look like either of his parents.

"He and his two siblings" he nods. "You didn't know that?" I shake my head. "That is public knowledge. I thought you looked that guy up"

"I looked his career up. I didn't care about his personal life"

"And what changed?"

"He showed an unwanted interest in mine" I answer honestly. Sorta.

"Ana, for the last time. Is this guy bothering you?" Why do they keep asking me that?!

"I told you. No. he is just a little too curious and too nosy for my taste"

"Maybe he is interested in you? You know like he likes you or something?" A teasing smile makes its way through wade's face. A nervous laugh escapes me. _Nice, Steele. Smooth as always._

"If he does, he sure has a crappy way of showing it" At least that is true. "I don't think that is the case. I just think he is paranoid but the problem is so am I"

"Well, my sources say he loves his baby sister" I don't tell him that I didn't need his 'sources' to know that. I saw it with my own eyes. I still can't wrap my mind around it. "That is a soft spot"

"I am not trying to attack him, Wade. I just want to know what I am dealing with. I am not going to use this against him in any way. Unless he tries to use my personal information against me, of course"

"I would never doubt your morality, Ana" He assures me with sincerity.

"Thank you"

"Now let's get down to the good stuff. His adoption information was a little buried but I managed to get them. His written history starts in June 18, 1986, Detroit .He was born, to a single mother of a lowlife class. At the age of four he was found by their neighbors with her dead body. She had been dead for days and he didn't have any idea. Suicide or just overdozed? unclear. He was found in such a bad state that he was hospitalized for two weeks" He passes me a picture of a toddle. I stare at it not believing my eyes. That can't be the same strong controlling man I have been dealing with for two weeks. This _kid _is someone else entirely. He is more like a broken little bird. I see bruises all over his pale tiny body, and are these burns on his chest?! "Then he was placed in a foster home for a few months before The Greys adopted him. Ana, are you with me?"

"What happened to him?" I ask involuntary, my voice shaking, my eyes are burning with suppressed tears. Why am I so emotional?

"No one knows but it is understandable. Being in this harsh environment that he may have been subjected to some abuse" Wade says softly.

"But he is so young. Who would hurt someone that young…" _Don't cry! Don't fucking cry! _I blink and shake my head. "I am sorry. Go on please"

Wade gives me an odd look then he goes on. The rest of information I already know. He attended Harvard for a while studying economics and politics then he drops out of college to start his own business. The source of his start-off money is unconfirmed but our biggest guess is his parents. Who else would it be?!

I thanked Wade again before he left and then finally dragged myself to bed resisting the urge to spend the night studying Grey's file. I lay wide awake for a second trying to think of something to distract me until I fall asleep. I suddenly remember that the gala is tomorrow and that I promised Adam I will go. Shit, I don't have anything to wear. I have to get something fancy, I guess. Knowing my only solution, I pick my phone.

"Hey, Emma. Are you busy tomorrow? I have that gala to attend tomorrow night, it is something related to GEH. I don't have anything to wear so I thought maybe we could go shopping in the morning and then you can help me get ready. It will be fun. Call me in the morning because I am going to bed now. Please don't hate me" I end the voice mail and quickly turn off my phone biting my lip. I have no mind or ears for a conversation with Emma where she scolds me for not telling her sooner.

I close my eyes and a picture of a gray eyed little boy haunts me. How can I still hate Grey after that? How can I hate him when I now know what he has been through? You see cases of abuse every day, kids and women all over the world. But it is not only compassion I feel right now. It is some sort of weird understanding. It is like I want to go back and re-live all the moments I had with Christian under the light of this information. I want to look into his eyes until I find that little boy in the pictures. I want to hold that boy and heal him. I want to tell him that everything is going to be all right.

I want to know how to connect that boy to the man I thought I knew. Because maybe I don't really know him. Maybe I am ignorant and stupid and judgmental. Maybe I have been much of a bitch as much as he has been an asshole.

It is not that having a hard past gives you the right to be a bad person. It doesn't even give an excuse. It gives a reason. A point of start. A proof that there may be a mess of fuck-upness under the tip of this iceberg. An explanation. The question is if I wanna get myself caught up in this mess. The logical thing will be to not want anything to do with it. So no, I don't want that.

I still can't help the tightness in my chest every time I close my eyes and see that gray-eyed copper-haired boy. I let sleep take me away knowing my dreams will be haunted by the same image.

Logic, reality. Conscious, subconscious. Voluntary, involuntary. It all doesn't really matter.

**CPOV:**

"Do you remember your safe words, Ms…?" Fuck, I don't even remember her goddamn name!

"Yes, Sir" Comes her shaky voice. _Then why haven't you used them yet?! _ I drop the whip from my shaky hand and take a step back. My eyes are looking everywhere in my playroom except the submissive kneeling on the bench. I can only imagine how the entire back of her body must look like. I lost count after the thirty-fifth lashes. I should have made her count so I wouldn't have lost myself like this._ This never happened to be before. here is where I find control, not where I lose it!_

"Put on some clothes. Meet me in my office in ten minutes" I order not even bothering to hide my anger. I storm out of my playroom cursing myself. The man in this playroom, that wasn't me. Any other day, more than five lashes would have me high on power and hard as fuck that is why I like my submissives with a high pain tolerance. Now, I have whipped her raw and my dick is as limp as it can be. The more disturbing thing is that unusually her pain didn't bring me any kind of joy, her submission didn't give me any sort of control. To say the scene was unsettling will be an understatement. And I can't blame her for one bit. It was all me. My head wasn't in it.

And I know the Dom in me is still there because picturing another certain brown-haired woman on her knees sets my skin on fire. No, I refuse to think that by one kiss, _one fucking kiss_, she managed to ruin me this way, _to own me. No!_

I drop on the chair behind my desk with my head in my hands trying to make any sense of what is going on with me. Since I knew that Ms. Steele was _taken, _I am trying to convince myself to get her out of my head for good this time. Mission unaccomplished. Not only that I can't seem to stop thinking about her but also that my dick seems to not want anyone but her. Fucking prefect, I tell you. I should have known that someday I am going to fall for the 'wanting what I can't have' trap. That is why I never let myself got attached to any of my submissives, I never wanted to. But Ms. Steele isn't my submissive, she is my employee. Someone who should be off limits for so many reasons but somehow my body can't seem to understand the impossibility of having her.

I look down at the NDA signed by the submissive I had tonight. It is my first one-night stand ever. Man, Elliot would have a lot to say about that. For someone like me, one-night stands are dangerous but it was a desperate time. I have been under a lot of stress for weeks and I had to get Anastasia out of my head. _Yeah, that worked out just fine, right? _I read the name. It is Annabelle Nilsson. Don't give me that look! The name is totally a coincidence, _totally! _I didn't ask for a name when I used my connections in the BDSM community to find a one-night stand submissive. A knock on the door interrupts my thought.

"Come on in, Ms. Nilsson" She comes in and stay standing with her head bowed down in the usual submissive stance.

_"Can we sit down or is this some sort of strain test?" _

Anastasia's sassy voice comes back to haunt me. I shake my head. Dammit! Get the fuck out! I am starting to think if it is possible to remove her surgically. I would pay a fortune for this surgery.

"Please take a seat" I am losing my mind.

"Yes, Sir" She does what she is told. Normally her utter submission would please me to no end but now it just unnerves me.

"I apologize for the scene" I shut my eyes and pinch the bridge between them. "I had a lot in my mind tonight" I mutter out quickly. I can't believe I am apologizing. If two weeks ago Christian sees me now, he would punch me in the face. I look up at her and she is still silent. Oh, yeah. _That. _I quickly dismiss her with a nice gift which she accepts without feeling like whore. Because she isn't. Being a high class submissive she is used to receiving gifts from her Doms. The rules of normal relationships doesn't apply in our community, thank fuck for that. Nobody needs the complexity of females' unnecessary proud egos.

_"Whoever told you it was okay to treat people like they are your puppets!"_

"Ugh" I groan dropping my head flat on my desk in defeat. Damn you, Anastasia Steele. Damn you to fucking hell.

**Please don't hate me for that! But it was important for the plot and the build up for Christian to understand that his old ways aren't working anymore and it is logical for him to try them after he realized Ana has a boyfriend.**

**So now she knows! Not everything but she knows enough to make her see him in a new light! I am so excited!**

**New chapter will be the gala! I am still choosing Ana's dress. Any suggestion?**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hettyblue, Lilashleyyy, cm (Guest), posses45, fourraysofsunshine,**

**Thank you so much for participating in choosing Ana's dress! Your choices were all so amazing and I had so much fun looking through dresses for this gala. Eventually I left the last choosing to my sis cuz she is the fashion expert in the family and of my life. So I had her read the story to know the character and she chose that one from many others that fit into the scenes of the gala.**

**I wanted something classy, simple, hot and preferably white. And came up with this**

**/pin/447123069230138948/**

**What do you think?**

**I know you all wanted something red or black and it will come along the way for BIGGER events. But now I wanted white, sorry!**

**The gala with go on for two chapters, here is the first one,**

**APOV:**

"What the hell?" Emma's voice alarms me once I get out of my bathroom wrapped in a towel after a long bath. I look at her and she is holding a paper in her hands with shocked expression on her face. I look down and find nothing but the yellow file containing Christian Grey's secrets and life history. Fuck, shouldn't have left that out in the open. But then again, I didn't expect anyone to be snooping. "Why the hell do you have this about Elliot?" She asks before I snitch the paper of her hands and place it back in the file.

"Elliot?" I stuff the file into my nightstand drawer and close it. Who is Elliot?

"Elliot Grey" Emma is still wide-eyed. Christian's brother! Finally a bell rings in my head as I remember what Wade told me yesterday. I only know what he told me as I didn't get the chance to read anything from then to now.

"How do you know Elliot Grey?"

"He is the groom of my new client" She says pointing to where I put the paper. "Blondie?!" She rolls her eyes.

"What?" Dirty Blondie is Christian's brother?! What are the fucking chances?! "It is not about Elliot. It is about Christian Grey"

"Hold a second. Are they related?"

"Brothers!"

"What?" She squeaks and I resist the urge to cover my ears. "Oh my god! I am planning the wedding of Christian Grey's brother! How did I not know sooner?!" She whines.

"I was kinda gonna ask you the same question" I take off the towel on my head to let my hair breathe. I shake my head. God, I love it when my hair is wet. It feels good even though it makes me look like a wet mouse.

"They are really secretive, I guess. Besides, we still haven't discussed the invite list and I didn't meet anyone beside the bride and the groom" She explains picking up my make up bag as I get sited on the bench in front of my floor length mirror. "So does that mean you will see Elliot tonight?"

"Most likely. His whole family and his fiancée too"

"Great. Promise me to kick him in the nuts when he hits on you" I laugh.

"What makes you so sure he would hit on me?"

"Have you seen the dress we landed today?! Man, even I would do you in that dress"

"You think?"

"It is not every day you get to wear a white dress when you are not the bride. That is the only not-so-good thing about wedding. No one wears white but the bride. And you look pretty hot in white"

Let's hope she is right.

**CPOV:**

Have I mentioned that I hate crowds? Okay, just in case I haven't. _I hate crowds. _Put me in a boardroom with a bunch of businessmen twice my age and I am totally fine and in my element, put me in a normal party, gala or even a family dinner and I am completely and utterly lost. Families, couples, desperate single women, social climbers, gold diggers, dirty-handed businessmen with arms around trophy wives half their age, it is all an old scene for me. I have been in that scene since I was eighteen and my father insisted for me to wear a tux and attend. Back then, wearing a tux was the most annoying part. Now as I am surrounded with fake smiles, empty words and half-hearted hellos, I am loving the tux I am wearing. In fact, I would like to curl in that tux and disappear right in that moment.

You know these moments in the movies when the guy is beyond annoyed so he keeps on checking the crowd until his eyes fall on that person and his night finally begins. Except in my case what I see is one magnificent ass. _I know that ass._ I know it more than I am willing to admit. Just like I will never admit how many times I fantasized about fucking it, or even taking a bite out of it or…. Seriously my fantasies with that ass are endless. And now that I see it covered in white soft fiber that highlights every fantastic curve of it. I am a dead man walking.

My eyes glide over Ms. Steel's exposed back, her ever glowing skin framed with a golden halo. A woman's back is an infamous sexy part. The bone structure covered with the right amount of flash, athletic yet feminine. It is a proof of her words that she does Krav Maga. My eyes travel higher to the high mess she has her hair in, the contrast between the color of her dark hair and her pale skin. Then she raises her hand and places it on the shoulder of the suit standing beside her and my whole mood change. She uses his shoulder as a leverage to rise on her tiptoes and whispers a few words on his ear before they both crack up laughing. A tightness in my chest snaps me out of my trance and I finally manage to turn my attention back to the boring conversation I have been having earlier. It doesn't sound too bad right now.

However, from now to then, my eyes would re-find her in the crowd. I see her with that Parker fucker again, with Rose, with Mia. She is laughing, talking, socializing and clearly having fun. I see only glimpses but I manage to observe every detail. She looks even more beautiful from the front. Her dress has a long slit from the middle of her thigh so her prefect legs would show every now and then. The white fiber hugs her figure like a glove. Her make-up is light and natural unlike most of the women in the room. Her smile is genuine with occasional nose-screwing and eye-rolling. I want to go over and…well, I will be damned. Say hi or something. But her fucking date won't leave her side for a minute, not even to go get a drink from the bar. Dammit!

Finally I notice Parker standing alone sipping on a glass of champagne. I scan the crowd for Ana and find her standing with my sister and two of the 'daughters'. Although it will be fun to watch Ana dealing with their snobby noses, I don't want to come near that girl in the creamy dress. What was her name? Ave, Eve I think. She is Mia's friend and has been chasing me all night. Thanks but no thanks.

Consciously or subconsciously, I find myself inching closer to Parker. His eyes are fixed on the angel in the white dress looking like a Hollywood star between a bunch of fangirls. Fucker!

"Beautiful, isn't she?" I comment quietly once I am in talking distance of him.

"What…who?" He straightens and looks at me startles. Oh, get it together, loser. I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Finally he gets what I am talking about when he finds my eyes on Ana. "Oh, of course. She looks amazing"

"I see you and Ms. Steele are getting along very well" Don't ask me why I am having this conversation.

"Of course…I mean it is Ana" He waves his hand in her direction and I want to cut it off. "She is the nicest girl I have ever met" That is it? The _nicest _girl? That is all you have to say about her? She is much more than the _nicest girl. _"Who in their right mind would get alo…" He trails off realizing that I may be the only person on the planet earth who doesn't get along with Ms. Steele. I resist the urge to tell him just how _well _we get along sometimes. "I mean…I didn't mean…that you…"

"I understand perfectly what you mean" I interrupt his rambling taking pity on him. "Although I didn't expect you of all people to take a liking to her" Fooled ya! When have I ever been one to feel pity?! Keep up, people!

"What do you mean?" He turns to face me completely now.

"You know exactly what I mean, Parker" I turn to face him as well, titling my head to the side studying him.

"No, actually I don't, Sir" Oh, come on. You can't be that dumb, Kiddo.

"Aren't you two supposed to be competing for this job?" I ask but I am not really asking. He shouldn't be having a crush on her! He should be competing with her!

"Oh, No. we don't see it that way…" He shakes his head but I cut him off to explain my point.

"_You _don't see it that way, but are you sure she doesn't? I mean she is obviously shining brighter than you. And she sure as hell made an impression on me more than you. Haven't it ever crossed your mind that she might be playing nice so she can put you to sleep, knock you out and win the golden job? " I know that is not what she is doing but I need him to learn that giving away trust that easily is dead wrong. And I need him to fuck off from my Ana.

_My Ana? My..what?_

"I don't think Ana is that kind of person, Sir" He replies shortly. "But why don't we ask her?" I narrow my eyes at his words but then I realize that he is looking over my shoulder. Oh, Fuck. Oh, shit. Oh, crap. Son of a bitch. I turn around after I make sure that I don't have 'BUSTED' stamped on my face. She wasn't supposed to hear that. _Well now she did, what are you gonna do about it? _No shit, what can I possibly do? I already fucked up for the nineteenth time.

"Well, Hello, Mr. Grey" Ana says in an overdone sweet voice and a fake smile on her face. _Her first fake smile for the night. _Why does it feel like a knife stabbing my dead heart? "Care for a dance, Adam?" She extends her arm to the fucker behind me completely ignoring my presence.

"Sure" And like a love sick puppy she drags him to the dance floor and let him put his arms around her.

Man, do I hate parties.

**APOV:**

"What was that about?" Adam asks after we dance quietly for two minutes.

"Do look like I have any idea?" I sigh. I can't believe he would do that. Why on earth would he do that?

"I thought I'd ask. Although I do have one" I look at him. "An idea" he adds.

"Do you know why our boss would try to turn us against each other, please do tell" I raise my eyebrows.

"A training tactic, it may be. He wants us to compete so we would give it our best shot" Oh, Adam you are so nice and have no idea what kind of person Grey is. _But you do have an idea? _Well….no…

"Perhaps" I agree half-heartily. Even if that is his intention, it doesn't justify his methods. We dance for another minute then we head back to our table.

"Ana" Mia's voice stops us. "I have been looking for you. Are you free next weekend?" She asks with an excited smile. Eva and Felicity are bouncing beside her making her look like a high school queen B which she must have been a few years ago.

"Not sure but why?" My face breaks into a smile immediately. Mia's cheerful mood is infectious.

"We have tickets for Taylor Swift's concert" She almost screams while her two other girls actually _scream. _They literally _yayed. _The funny thing is, Mia is not even half as annoying as her little friends are. She is a sweet nice girl and certainly not a snob like most of the girls in here. Can't say the same about Eva and _Felly, _though. "You have to come with us"

"I'd love to. But I am not sure I will be free. Rose is making us busier as time goes" A weekend with Mia? Sure it would be fun. Her little Plastic gang? Not so sure. Better get myself out of it before I find myself burning Eva's hair in her sleep. Now, _that would be fun._

"I can talk to Christian for you" Mia offers. Oh, hell no.

"I'd really rather you don't" I say nicely but seriously enough to make sure she doesn't. "Beside, Rose is my direct boss"

"Okay" she sighs finally giving up. "But you have to promise me you will try"

"Absolutely" Not.

"Hey, Eva. Would you like to dance?" Adam says out of nowhere.

"And who you might be?" She says looking at him from under her nose. Oh, boy. Why, Adam? Why?

"Adam Parker. We have been introduced earlier. I work in GEH" He replies simply. Better back off now, buddy.

"I don't remember and I don't care. Do you really think someone like me would waste their time with someone like you?" She literally _Bitches. _I have to remind myself that we are not in high school anymore and I can't punch her or tackle her down. We are in a fancy high class charity gala and we are all grown-ups. Clearly someone missed that memo.

"Eva" Mia hisses sending Regina George a glare which she ignores. So much for a queen B. Looks like Mia doesn't have as much control as I thought over her little followers. Wise choice to skip the weekend plan, thumbs up for me.

"Whatever. I will go get a drink" I swear to god she flips her hair before she goes just like in the movie. Fucking hilarious, I would laugh if I wasn't mad at the bitch. I bet she is now looking for her target for the night. I didn't miss the way she has been chasing Christian the entire evening. I am not gonna admit that it is one of the reasons I hate her guts.

"You okay?" I ask Adam making sure no one can hear us.

"Fine. Been a while since I have been rejected that way"

"I am really sorry, Adam. Eva is not normally that rude. I don't know what has gotten into her" Nothing, darling. She is just concentrating on her target and removing all the distractions bluntly.

"Her loss, buddy" I say before my eyes find Christian in the crowd and I take advantage of the fact that he is not looking. Man, why does he have to be so fucking sexy. I have seen him in different styles of suits and he looked good in all of them, which isn't easy. And now he is pulling of the tux like a fucking boss, no pun intended. My eyes run over his amazing body and I feel my skin heating as I remember how good he feels under my hands. My hand twitches. _Bad Steele, Bad!_ He just tried to turn your new friend against you and now you are fantasizing about him? When did I lose my mind? Then my eyes glide up to his face…fuck he is looking at me! _Busted! _I feel my face flaming a fifty shade of red and pink. Why did I have to have so little self-control? So what if he is smart, brilliant, powerful and so freaking sexy? So what if he has a dark past and a tortured childhood that he manages to rise out of it and become this strong-willed man? So what if he gives up money for charity and is working on feeding the world and terminating hunger? So what if he is all these things? He is still a fucking asshole who treats me like a piece of shit.

_Not all the time, though!_

Mostly!

I let myself look up at him again and he is still staring at me, both of us oblivious to the other hundred people in the room. We get into one of our infamous staring contest. Interrupted only by little miss Regina George putting her hand on Christian's arm. Oh hell.

"Hey, Mia. Why don't you take Adam in a dance? He has been dying to ask you all night but he is being a chicken" I say interrupting whatever the two of them were saying. They both stay silent with open mouths but I don't wait up. I take off immediately. I am a woman on a mission and some little bitch has just asked for it.

**CPOV:**

My bubble of admiring Ms. Steele bursts when I feel a hand on my arm. What the hell? I turn around quickly and I see that girl, Mia's friend. She is talking to me but I can't hear her. I want her to take her hands off me. Now. hands off, hands off. But I am frozen. How can she not feel how tense my body is? I feel the first drops of sweat on my forehead and my throat is closing off. The air is refusing to leave my lungs. Help! Someone help me! Finally I hear her gasp and her hand is off. Thank fuck for that. I breathe out finally getting my shit together. That was fucking close!

"Oh, I am so sorry" Is that voice what I think it is? Ana? I turn and see her standing with an empty wine glass in her hand and a fake apologizing expression on her face.

"Oh, my god. What the hell did you do? Are you stupid?" The girl who just had her hand on me curses out trying to wipe what looks like red wine of her creamy dress. She didn't just? Did she? Oh my god. I couldn't help the laugh escaping me as I double over holding my stomach.

"I am really really sorry. I didn't see you. It was an accident" And from the look on your face, Ms. Steel, I bet it was. She looks like she is trying hard not to laugh as well and her white dress didn't catch one drop of the wine. Deduction, she didn't accidentally spill the wine, she practically threw it on the girl's dress. I have no idea why she did that but I am fucking glad. I could kiss her right now. Maybe I should. _Grey!_

"You are laughing?" The girl in distress screams at me. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"I am not laughing. No one is laughing" I press my lips but my face is red with suppressed laughter.

"I should kill you for this" She snaps at Ana who is keeping her cool. I would like to see you try. Really. "Do you have any idea how much this dress costs? Your salary in a year" She goes on and surprisingly everyone is oblivion to the accident happening.

"I guess it is a good thing it doesn't have much fiber in it to soak in wine or you would be red right now. I don't think it would suit you. You know, skin tone and all" Snarky little sexy thing! "However, feel free to send me the bill"

"You couldn't afford it" She glares at her as she looks down at her ruined dress.

"You would be surprised" Ana shrugs simply. Ms. Happy hands lets out a whine that could only come from a three year old girl, then she turns and leave, surly to the restroom. Ana watches her leave with a devious smile on her face.

"You did that on purpose" I remark, not really asking a question.

"Excuse me, was she a friend of yours?" She turns to face me.

"Hardly" I title my head with a small smile. "I don't have any friends, Ms. Steele"

"Boy, I wonder why. You are such a joy to be around" She moves her shoulders up and down in an adorable mocking shock. Her eyes widen playfully making her look even more beautiful especially from up close. I find myself smiling at her snarky words. Because no matter how rude she gets, I missed our banter.

"You look absolutely stunning, if it isn't obvious" I find myself saying. And Ms. Steels still manages to surprise me because I expect her to blush or say some smart-ass come back, instead she laughs like I just said the funniest joke.

"Were you dropped on your head as an infant or were you just born stupid?" She says breathlessly when her laughter dies out. What did she just say?

"Excuse me?"

"Oh my god. That is so funny. I can't even…" She doubles over laughing again. For the first time, her laugh is unnerving me. It is not pure or genuine. It is mocking. And not the fun way.

"I am glad you find me amusing, but can I know what's so funny about a simple compliment?" I say through clinched teeth resisting the urge to snap. My fun relaxed mood is long gone.

"A simple compliment?" She repeats it like it is a foreign word. "You really think I am some sort of insecure hungry-for-attention fool with low self-esteem that you can win over with a _stupid_ compliment and I will be all giggly and blushing?"

"It was as observation" I spit out getting worked up. She is impossible! It is just fucking impossible to win with this woman. "I didn't have any collective motivation unlike what you think"

"Oh, so it wasn't you standing just over there, trash-talking me behind my back? Must have been my imagination" Her voice is dripping with sarcasm. Oh, about that…

"You misunderstood..." I begin but she cuts me off

"Did I now? Because for where I was standing it looked like you were being as asshole for no reason and trying to ruin a friendship I value" Oh, Fuck it. Friendship my ass.

"A friendship?" I hiss at her. "He is following you like a love sick puppy. Is that your idea of friendship or do you just enjoy having men drooling all over you?" Her small gasp almost…almost makes me feel guilty.

"The only sick person in here is you!" She hisses back with venom in her words and her index finger pointing in my face. "I don't care how much shit you had to go through when you were little. I don't care what sort of abuse you lived through. It is all in the fucking past! It doesn't give you the right to be an asshole and fuck people's lives up. Adam is my friend and he is following me around because he is a little socially shy and I am the only person he knows here. Does that explanation satisfy your twisted mind?"

What the fuck did she just say?

**APOV:**

Ops!

Did I just say that out load? _Fuck me!_

Caught up in the moment I turn to leave but he grabs my arm. His hold is bone-crashing strong but I snitch it away resisting the urge to rub my wrist.

"Wait a fucking second. What the hell do you mean by the shit I went through and the abuse? What the fuck do you know?" _Nothing, Deny Deny everything!_

"I know that you weren't always a big bad asshole and one day you were just a skinny pale four-year old boy who had to watch his mom dying before he should" I want to be angry with him. But at this very moment all I feel, is a connection to that boy. His reaction to me knowing these things about him is not exactly as I expected. Well, yes, he looks bat shit angry right now and it is the same weird combination of scary and hot but I can see the underlying fear in his gray eyes. I see…._vulnerability. _and it is such a bizarre thing added to enigma of Grey. And it reminds me of what I felt when he did the same thing to me. _It is not the same!_

"How the fuck do you know that?" _Stay strong, Ana._

"You took liberty to push your nose into my life. I did a little digging of my own" Don't sell Wade out, don't sell Wade out.

"You did what?" He almost yells apparently forgetting that we are in a crowded room. He looks around and I finally let out the breath I have been holding under the pressure of his gaze. Jeez! "Whoever gave you the right?" He half yell-half whispers turning his eyes back on mine.

"You did! The moment you put your nose where it doesn't belong" I shoot back refusing to back down or let him make me feel guilty. Okay, now he is looking at me like I am a crazy person.

"I am your boss! You work for me" He totally lost it now. Eyes wide, hands waving in the air. Gone is Mr. Cool and Collected. I am intrigued. "I have every right to dig deep in your past to make sure you will not be a danger to my company!" _Lair lair pants on fire!_

"Bullshit! That had nothing to do with business. You did it because it is easy for you to expose people that way. Because you think it is okay to slide people open and push your hands into their guts just because you can!" Good, that was good. Just don't cry now and you will be good.

"And didn't you just do the same damn thing? Doesn't that make you just like me?" Oh, Bite me.

"I am not like you. I did it to protect myself"

"From what?" He frowns like it is last thing he expected me to say.

"From you"

Don't ask me why it came out like a shaky whisper.

**To be continued….**

**PS: This chapter continues two 'borrowed' quotes. One from a tv show and one from a movie by an actress who was one of the potential Ana Steele, Wanna guess? **

**If anyone is interested,**

**Mia's dress: ****/pin/523825000383284443/**

**Eva's dress: ****/pin/492510909220619766/**

**Felicity's dress: /pin/383791199470687455/**

**Ana's accessories:**

**/pin/436989970063008283/**

**/pin/376402481325803911/**

**/pin/573434965024805719/**

**/pin/296111744221456368/**

**/pin/22588435607102126/**

**hope they work now ;)**

**SPOILERS: next chapter we will get to meet more of the Greys, ELENA and Flynn is there as well. Of course our fav couple we have a moment, a big one!**


	18. Chapter 18

**I am sorry I can't get the links to work, I have no idea what is wrong. If someone does, please PM me.**

**PS: You guys are super awesome!**

**Second part of the gala, here it goes…**

**CPOV:**

I watch unmoving as Ms. Steele walks away or rather runs away. I can't believe what just happened. How come she knows that? When she disappears in the crowd I finally find the power to pull my phone out of my pocket and dial Taylor. I try to ignore the fact that my hands are shaking.

"Mr. Grey" He answers on the second ring. Too long for me.

"Taylor" I step out of the room and into the closest balcony. "Someone managed to get information of my adoption files. I want to know how the fuck did this happened. Call Welch and Barney and have them work on it. Someone is getting fired for this" I pace the balcony run my fingers through my hair so hard I actually think I lose some hair. "This should be buried deep enough" I say more to myself than him. How did this happen?

"Yes, Sir" I can hear the concern in his voice. Taylor is concerned for me? Why would he? "I will have them right on it, Sir"

"Good" I mutter and keep pacing.

"Sir?" Taylor asks when a moment of silence passes and I haven't hanged up. Why haven't I?

"How did she get her hands on this? What does she think she can do with this information?"

"I am sorry, Sir. Who?" I already forgot that I am talking to my employee.

_I don't have any friends, Ms. Steele._

"Welch didn't send any further information about Ms. Steele?" I don't answer his question but that does.

"No, Sir. Nothing" I curse under my breath. "Are you okay, Sir?" He asks and it is there again. _Concern. _

"Just fine" I say before I hang up quickly. I don't have enough room in my mind to analyze Taylor's unusual behavior or deal with it. I walk over to rail of the balcony and place my hands on it. I close my eyes and breathe into the night air. So fresh it is almost suffocating, _it doesn't smell like her. _So that is how it is like to be a drug addict, to crave a toxin material. Doesn't look like fun.

I am dressed in layers of fiber but I feel naked all of the sudden, bare more than I have ever been and… _vulnerable. _Fuck, that is new. I didn't feel that vulnerable even when Elena had me naked and tied to a cross in her dungeon. Does she know about that too? No, of course she doesn't. If she didn't she wouldn't have mentioned my early childhood. She would have rubbed that shit in my face instead. No, all she knows is what is on paper. That is what she knows. Just like I know everything on paper about her. Unfortunately, I have dirt on paper while she doesn't. That is why I made sure no one can get their hands on it. Imagine my situation in this cruel business world if the fact that I was the child of a crack whore is a public knowledge. I would be fucked, terminated, bullet between my eyes and boom dead is Christian Grey's entire career.

I can't believe it. I am the owner of one of the biggest empires in The United States of America with a security team to take down a country and some two-majored WSU nerd who is still a fucking intern can hide her dirty laundry better than me. I made sure this shit buried. She must have some high connections to be able to reach this information. I have seen her bank records so I know she is rich. But not _that _rich. Did she hire someone? Dammit, why did she do that? She can't be that paranoid, can she? Whatever she thinks I found, does she really think I would use it against her somehow? Does she think that low of me?

_Well, have you given her one reason to think otherwise?_

…No?

_That is right!_

But I don't get what she would be afraid of. I read her background check several times but I still feel like something is missing. Something off records, maybe something she never told anyone about. But if she told nobody, why would she be scared? What does she think I may find?

_"I did it to protect myself"_

_"From you"_

"Ahhhhh" I groan into the silent night. Looks like I have so many questions and the only one who can answer them is the one person who never will. Because she is afraid of me. She thinks she has to protect herself from me. Then why am I the one feeling vulnerable?!

_"I don't care how much shit you had to go through when you were little. I don't care what sort of abuse you lived through. It is all in the fucking past!"_

She knows. She knows what happened to me back then. No matter how she knew it, she knows. Fuck, does she pity me? Clearly no. I have no idea what I feel about that. I know I am angry and it is the only emotion I can name but it is not the only one I am feeling.

_"I know that you weren't always a big bad asshole and one day you were just a skinny pale four-year old boy who had to watch his mom die before he should"_

I can't wipe it out of my mind, the look in her eyes when she said that. It wasn't pity, no it wasn't. It was something more powerful than compassion, deeper than empathy. It was like she is reaching inside me and scratching the surface with her nails. And it was already cracking everywhere. She wanted in. She wanted to crack me open and see it all but I couldn't let her see. If she hates me now, she will loath me if she sees. It was like she was telling me that it is okay. That she can take it, that she _understands. _But she can't, how can she? How can anyone understand the twisted pattern of my dark soul if I can't begin to understand it myself?

Taking a final deep breath I decide that my alone time is over and I better go back before my mother starts noticing my disappearance. Once I step out of the balcony, my eyes fall on the dance floor and I see her again. I close my eyes immediately for a minute. _God help me. _Opening my eyes again I see that she is dancing with another douchebag. My anger dissolves a little when I notice that this douchebag is actually John Flynn. I focus back on her, moving gracefully around the dance floor, her white dress floating around her like an angelic halo. How foolish was I when I resembled her to an angel. She is much more than that. Not that simple, no. She is the twilight line between day and light. Unique and breathtaking. _Another poetry attempt, Grey? Seriously? _ I think it is safe to say she has me under her spell. I crave that woman to a degree that doesn't exist in humans' scales. My body has a mind of its own around her_. I am in lust with this human being. _I want her in every way a man has ever wanted a woman since the beginning of creation.

"Man, you have got it baaaaddd" Elliot's voice startles me. I notice that I am startled a lot these days. It could only mean that I am out of focus. _I need to get it together. _I used to be more observant than that, more aware of my surrounding. Now if she is in a room, I can only be aware of her. Every move, every word, every sound, every breath. I am so screwed, I know. "Eye-fucking a woman twenty feet away. And I thought I was dirty" he adds with a wink.

"Whatever you mean?"

"Hold on a fucking second! Isn't this the lesbo girl from the club?" He almost squeaks. Oh, Elliot, you are such a girl sometimes.

"She is not a lesbian" I say between my teeth. He is interrupting my creepy gawking session and I don't like it. Can't a guy obsess over his employee in peace?!

"Dude, your sure?"

"Pretty sure yeah" It comes out of me before I can stop it. My tone is cocky. And of course Elliot cracks up laughing.

"Oh my goodness, you did it, didn't you? You banged her?" he says between laughter. "This is champagne worthy news! So you are not gay after all, Huh? I think I owe Mia some money. Tell me, bro. Is she your first? Did you lose your virginity to her?" You know the scene in animation movies when the character's head turns red and swollen, smoke starts streaming out of his ears, and he finally explodes. Yeah, that is what happens to me.

"No, I am not gay" I stress every word to make myself clear. "And No, she is not my first. I lost virginity when I was fifteen to an older woman and you knew nothing about it and I have been anything but celibate since then. I got more pussy than you may think but unlike you, I don't fuck and tell. And she is not a fucking lesbian. Oh, and I can't believe you and our little sister bet over my sexual preference. However, I am glad you lost some money" I say in one breath to my wide-eyed brother before I leave him behind. That would give him something to think about. If he can still think like normal human beings. I don't know what came over me or possessed me to tell him these things. Maybe it is Ana's scratching effect _or maybe I just needed to talk openly to someone who wasn't my therapist, just once_. I have never cared how alone I am. I knew I was alone but I always thought it was the better thing for someone like me. But now I am doubting and questioning every little thing I have ever believed to be true. In times like this, I would go to my playroom where I can find my center again but now I want to do something else. Since the playroom failed last time because of _someone, _there is something else I have to try.

I head to the dance floor. I need to be near her.

**APOV:**

I close the restroom's door behind me after I check that Eva isn't in there with me. I need a break. A fucking break. Can I have one? Throwing my golden purse in the space beside the sink, I close my eyes and just breathe for a few seconds. What have I done?

"Who the hell are you?" a woman's voice startles me. I didn't even hear the door open and close behind her. She is leaning against the door like she is trapping me in or something. Do I look like I have time for this?

"Someone you don't wanna mess with right now" I say calmly grabbing my purse and heading for the door. Looks like I have to find somewhere else.

"You are clearly not his submissive. So am I gonna ask you again, who the hell are you?" I reach the door and she is still blocking it with her body. I close my eyes and ask god for patience.

"I am sorry, Ma'am. I have no idea what you are talking about" Just move out of the way before I lose my temper. I open my eyes and examine the woman before me, just looks like ninety percent of the women in this party, well polished and groomed, like she just came out of a spa. Which is probably the case. Truth is, she is beautiful even though she must be in her forties.

"I am sure you do. Listen up, little girl. Whatever game you are playing with him, I suggest you stop it. Now. Christian is mine, understood?" Whoa, so that is what this is about. Oh, boy.

"Great" I let out a dry laugh. "So you are just another member of the club. Aren't you a little too old to be one of his fangirls?" She looks totally offended now. She is a woman who was never told her true age in her face. But seriously, do I look like I care?

"Fangirl?" She spits the word out. "So clearly, you have no idea who I am. which means you are not much of a danger as I thought you may be. But I will repeat my warning anyway, Christian and I have a long eventful history that your little mind can't even begin to understand. We may be in a rough patch now but it will pass. And you need to back off, Am I clear?" She talks like she thinks she is intimidating, which she may be to some people but not to me. She has no idea what kind of assholes and bitches I had to deal with.

"Listen, Mrs. Robinson. I have no idea what kind of history you may have with a man half your age and I am not sure I even want to know, okay? You want him, you can have him if he will have your wrinkled ass. I couldn't care less. Now get out of my way before I lose it and destroy thousands-dollar worth of plastic surgery, _Am I clear?" _I throw her words back at her face pinning her with a glare. She glares back for a moment but then she moves just inches for me to open the door and leave the room without muttering a word.

Well, that has been lovely!

"Ana" John is the first familiar I see. I was surprised when I first saw him in the party but then again he is Christian's therapist as much as he is mine.

"John" I nod and hope he can't read my face.

"Care for a dance?" He gives me the I-know-something-is-going-on-but-i-will-play-dumb look and I am grateful for it.

"Wouldn't hurt" I let him take me to the dance floor. Dancing has always had a calming effect on me, the way I can lose myself and let the music lead my body.

"I am supposed to be expecting you in a couple of days" John says after a moment of silence.

"Don't remind me" I groan playfully.

"I am off the clock" He grins innocently and it is such an unusual look on John that it makes me giggle a little. He chuckles too. I sigh when my giggle dies out and another moment of comfortable silence passes.

"I have no idea what I am doing, John" I find myself saying. "Did he tell you anything about me?"

"Who?" He says but his sly smile lets me know that he knows what I am talking about so either he saw us earlier or Christian did talk about me with him. Crap, now I am dying to know what he said!

"I knew I would got nowhere with you" I shake my head with a smile. "Why did you have to be such a good shrink?"

"Check the bill I send you and you will know why" John Flynn jokes, alert the media!

"Mind if I cut in?" I close my eyes as I hear that familiar honey soft voice invades my senses. Dammit! Space? Never heard of it? Apparently no.

"Not at all" John says in his heaviest British accent as he handles me to the devil like a virginal sacrifice. Traitor! Well, god knows I am no virgin. _But he is the devil? _ I am dramatic, get over it!

I resist a shiver as Christian takes my hand and places his other hand on my bare back_. Don't look him in the eye, don't look him in the eye. Just a dance and it will pass. _I keep telling myself as he draws me closer to his body. I resist when he tries to pull me more close, I need some personal space for my own sanity.

"Come on, Ms. Steele. You don't wanna make a scene, do you?" He says but stops his attempts and we start to sway to the music. A new song begins. I know that song. In fact I love that song, Born to die by Lana Del Rey. Focus on the song.

"I didn't peg you for a dancer, Mr. Grey" I say focusing on a point above his shoulder. My hand is on his shoulder and I resist the urge to let it wonder, to press it harder against the muscles under his skin.

"I don't dance normally but I am willing to make an exception" I can feel him smiling against my hair. His cheek is barely touching the crown of my head but each time any part of him brush against any part of me, I feel this part inflaming. Oh god, help me! _Focus on the song! _

Feet don't fail me now  
>Take me to the finish line<br>All my heart, it breaks every step that I take  
>But I'm hoping that the gates,<br>They'll tell me that you're mine

_Not helping, Lana!_

Suddenly he pushes me away and twirls me around me to the music masterfully.

"You are good at this, considering you don't dance" I say as he crashes me back to him. His front pressed to my back. No, that breathless voice isn't mine. I disown it.

"Did you just _compliment_ me or am I hearing things?" His voice is husky and seductive and oh my I so want to melt in his embrace, let his strong arms support me for a second, just a second. The effort to not relax against him is almost physically painful.

"If you would consider it a compliment. My mom used to tell me to never trust a man who can dance"

"I take it if I didn't know how to dance you would trust me?" He raises his eyebrows in a challenge then he finally ends my torment and pushes my body away from him.

"No. so I guess it is a moot point" I say once we are two arms apart and only our hands connected. In a violent quick breath-taking move _literally_ he pulls my body flesh to his so we are in eye-level.

"Moot point?" He whispers as his eyes drift down to my lips and I hear an underlying humor in his voice. He has such beautiful long eyelashes for a man.

"Moot point" I repeat my tone matching his. A smirk curves my lips but I can't resist peeking a close look at his. Oh, so kissable… His hand on my back slides lower and his touch is painfully feather-light. He starts drawing small circles with his thumb. I can feel his breath against my skin as he bends his head down a little. His lips hovering above my collar bone but not touching. _Touch me, Dammit_. He inhales a deep breath against my neck and I swear I hear a tiny moan escaping his lips as he lets it out_. God, forgive me I am a sinner._ I think I am going to die.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" He whispers against my ear. His lips brushing my ear shell. This time I couldn't stop the shiver wrecking my body. "Why don't you trust me?" He asks suddenly but his tone isn't that questioning. There is a hint of sadness in his tone I don't want to acknowledge. It sobers me up a little.

"You want a list?" I say after I clear my throat. He raises his head back up to look at me. He looks like he didn't want me to hear him asking at all.

"Please" He smiles a little and tilts his head in his usual coolness. How can I forget everything when I am in this man's arms? I gather the thoughts in my brain before I speak so I don't make more of a fool of myself.

"It could be because of the mixed signs, the mood swings, the hot and cold behavior but I think it is mostly because you tend to dance around with words. Everything you say always seems to have double meaning. You never go straight to the point and it is not something I find very assuring and trusting about a man" I say in one breath so he won't interrupt me. That was good, honest I think. He stares at me just for a moment like he is debating my words. Suddenly he starts walking me backward until we are off the stage and packed in a dark corner. He doesn't stop until my back hits a wall and we are stuffed in a corridor narrow enough to fit only twice our sizes. I can feel the heat coming out of his body in waves. His gaze is intense and demanding forcing me to meet his eyes. His voice is heated and serious making my skin sing with heat.

"You want me to go straight to the point. Fine, I want you, Anastasia. I think I have made that very clear with action but you want words so I am telling you" He inches closer until our lips is inches apart. "I. Want. You" He breathes each word against my lips. His tone is heavy with suppressed desire. "I have never craved a woman as much as I crave you" he moves his lips to my neck, breathing me in again. "You drive me crazy" He almost groans the words out against my skin. And I want to give in. I want to jump of that edge and be done with it. I want to let him have me like he wants to. I want all of that but I am afraid. Because there may be some relief and freedom in losing your balance as you fall off the edge but you are still falling. You are still going to crash and die.

"I told you I have a boyfriend" I say with what is left of will power in me but I feel my resistance weakening.

"Trust me. That boyfriend of yours is the last of our problems" An unnamed emotion crosses his face for a second. I know he is right but I am loving being in denial and I am not going anywhere. I need to get my shit together and leave. Now.

"Well, it is kinda of a big thing for me, Christian. Despite what you may think of me. I am not a cheating bitch. What happened that other day was an unrepeatable mistake. Will you get over it?!" I push him hard and he is surprised by it that he actually almost falls off but supports himself quickly. I try to leave but he grabs my arm and I snitch it back. Is that going to be our hello? He curses under his breath.

"Dammit, Anastasia. just stop fighting it" He is almost pleading with me. "You want me" his tone changes. He says the words like it is an accusation. "I felt it. Fuck, I can feel it every time I am in the same room with you" Now it is gentle again. It is hard to keep up with this man. "How can you not feel that?" almost hesitantly he reaches for my face and I stand still and let him. He cups my cheek in his palm. His touch is feather light and oh-so gentle. His voice turns so soft almost an inaudible whisper. I am a goner, Dammit. "Tell me I am blind. Tell me I am reading it wrong"

"I can't" I whisper back but couldn't resist leaning into his touch, just a little. I feel the tears burning behind my eyes. And a voice screaming _Why? _You know why, I know why. I just can't remember now. He closes his eyes and his hand drops of my face and I miss it immediately. His head drops down and he is starting to turn around. And in that moment I know there is a thousand reasons why I shouldn't and a million reasons why I couldn't do what I do next but I do it anyway because for a moment, just a moment I want to let myself go completely. I want to do something just because I want to do it. Not because I was told to, not because I have to and not because I should or could. Not because it is part of the plan. I want to allow that crashing urge to rule my body and cloud my brains for a moment, just a goddamn moment.

I grab him by the labels of his tux and kiss the hell out of him. He is surprised for a second but he responses immediately. His arms fly to my waist and he presses his body to mine crashing my hands in between. I slid them up from his chest to his neck. One of his hands moves up my back and to my arm wrapping it around his neck. I obey burying my fingers in his hair. He traces my upper lip with his tongue asking for entrance and I let him in. Oh my! This tongue, this wicked wicked tongue…His hand runs over my bare back and down to my lower back just above the place where the fiber of my dress begins. Gently, so gently, he slips his pinky finger under the fiber teasing the upper skin of my ass as he fucks my mouth with his tongue. I groan loudly and snitch our lips apart pushing his body against the wall behind him and away from my body. He is staring at me with hooded half-closed eyes, half-opened mouth, lips swollen, face flashed and he looks drunk. _Drunk on me. _I feel powerful even though I am sure my state mirrors his. I attack him again. This time more forcibly. We are all tongues and teeth and hands. One of his hands grabs my ass, fingers digging in my flesh, opposite to his previous gentle touch. The contrast is mind-blowing. I press my body against him feeling his hardness against my thigh. Too soon he releases my lips for much needed air but his lips stays on me. He is attacking my poor vulnerable neck with kisses, licks, bites ,and nibbling. I am panting my life out. My skin is singing with desire, blood rushing south. Every cell in my body is calling for him. They are all chanting _More More More…_

"Please…" I beg and I don't know what I am begging for. He growls and grabs my thigh through the slit of my dress lifting it around his hips so that his erection rubs me just where I need him. I bite my lips to suppress another moan.

"Say it" He orders but I have no idea what he is talking about. His voice is pleading like he is the one under my mercy except I am willing to do anything at this point as long as he doesn't stop what he is doing to me. "Say my name" He elaborates before he takes my earlobe between his teeth and bite. Hard.

"Christian…" I gasp out grabbing his hair and tugging his head down hard so he looks up at me. He gasps at the sudden move and stares up at me. There is something dark in his eyes, darker than hunger and desire. His breathing is matching mine. I bite my lower lip as I examine his beautiful face against the wall I am pinning him to. I watch as his eyes darken further and his pupils dilate more. You almost can't see the gray in his eyes anymore. So fucking hot. He doesn't move for a moment, like he is waiting for me to say what's next. I don't waste time attacking his lips again. Once our mouths colloid he seems to regain his footing as he takes hold of my face angling it so he can kiss me as he pleases. After what felt like a second or an eternity he lets me go, pushing me away a little so I land on the opposite wall while he leans on the one behind him.

We are less than a foot or two away, staring each other with heavy breathing and open lips and walls are supporting our shaky legs. I can hear my own heart beating, veins pumping blood. I feel the wetness between my legs, the ache. I look down at him and see the bulge under his dress pants. _Oh fuck…._I swallow, he looks huge down there. _Fuck, fuck, fuck. Stop staring at his dick._ He pushes himself of the wall slowly, so slowly, takes the step separating us. He places one of his hands flat on the wall beside my head. His moves are slow and deliberate and I am following every single one of them. It is like my whole world narrows down at the movement of his other hand as he reaches to take my trembling one. That simple touch does nothing to calm my nerves as he takes my hand in his and places my palm…oh shit. He presses my palm against his cock and I feel it pulsing under my hand. Fuck, I can feel the pulse under the layers of clothes, the heat coming from it. _And mother of all that is holy_, he really is huge. I can't help my gasp. And then he speaks. His voice is steady but heavy with need.

"Now you have proof. A proof you can touch" He presses my hand harder against him and I fight the desire to stroke him through his pants. I don't miss the hitch in his breathe. "Is that straight to the point enough for you? Do you still doubt my intentions?"

"Christian, I…" I have no idea what to say but my non-speech is interrupted before it begins with not-so-familiar voice.

"Christian, Darling. I have been looking for you" Hell, it is no one but Mrs. Robinson. It looks like Christian recognizes the voice as well because he lets my hand drop from his and I watch as his face turns white as a sheet.

What is up with that?

**WHY DID THAT BITCH HAVE TO SHOW HER ASS NOW?**

**I know, right? Soooo annoying!**

**I lied, there is a third part to the gala ;) it is such a fun eventful night, isn't it?**

**Sorry to cut it off at such a cliff but I promise a fast update ;)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry! Triste! Désolé!**

**أحنا آسفين يا صلاح****!**

**I am sooo sorry for the delay especially after the cliffhanger! Family emergency!**

**Your reviews were so fucking heart-warming and I am so very very happy! You are all amazing!**

**On with the chapter ;)**

**CPOV:**

_"Christian, I…" I have no idea what to say but my non-speech is interrupted before it begins with not-so-familiar voice._

_"Christian, Darling. I have been looking for you" Hell, it is no one but Mrs. Robinson. It looks like Christian recognizes the voice as well because he lets my hand drop from his and I watch as his face turns white as a sheet._

_What is up with that?_

"Excuse you, we are kinda of in the middle of something here" I say when no one seems to remember the English alphabets but me. Christian is stiff as a stone, his hand is grabbing my waist and he is not moving an inch, he is not looking me in the eye. That is not a normal reaction to an ex…

"I can see that" Mrs. Robinson bitches crossing her arms over her barely covered chest. I examine her. Seriously, what the hell is she wearing? It is black but now I know for sure that black doesn't always mean elegant. A twenty-year old girl could be wearing that and it is still won't be appropriate. She looks like she is trying to impress someone. _I wonder who!_ "May I have a word in private with Christian?" She demands when none of us talks or moves. Doesn't she see that this man still got me pinned to a wall?! Old age sight problems maybe? _Oh, come on she is not that old! _Just play along!

"Alright then" I mutter unhappily. If he wants to have a word with an old flame, a really _old flame, _Stop it!_ _, it is his choice, I guess. I try to move but Christian's grip tightens almost painfully on my waist. I finally meet his eyes and my own eyes widen at the sight before me. Fear and disgust and anxiety, all radiating from his wide eyes. Involuntary, I find my hand reaching for him. I place it on his forearm and squeeze. Once. He looks down at me, now a little lost. I don't know how to handle a lost Grey. Angry Grey, Asshole Grey, Sexy Grey, give it all to me and I will take it but the man before me is beyond my control or understanding.

"Do you want me to leave?" I ask slowly, once. He doesn't speak. Just shakes his head violently, once.

"Christian, Dear…" She-bitch makes a sound and I watch as Christian closes his eyes almost in pain. He looks like he is going to be sick. I have no idea what has this woman done to gain such a reaction from a strong man as Christian Grey but I am guessing it was no charity work.

"Do you want her to leave?" I ask in the same calm tone and he nods, his eyes pleading.

"You…" She starts but I cut her off.

"You heard him. Leave now" I say firmly and I don't recognize my own voice. Suddenly I feel protective of the man squeezing my flash under his hand. It is ironic. He is so much stronger than me. I can feel his strength right now as his fingers dig into my skin. And still I feel the need to protect him. Who am I to protect him?

"Chris…" She reaches with her hand to his arm and it all happens in less than a second because Christian expects her touch and lets me expect it too. I see it in the tightness of his grip, the widening of his eyes, the first drops of sweat forming on his forehead. _I know all of that so well, so well. _In a swift move I slap her hand away just before she touches him. You asked for it, bitch.

"I did say leave, didn't i?" I glare the bitch to death and she is staring at me like she doesn't believe I would slap her hand. She is so fucking clueless because that is the less I can do. "Now shoo away, you little cockblocker" I state. She gasps. Oh, blow me!

"A lady should never say such things" Is she scolding me? I think she is scolding me. I let out a humorless laugh.

"Never claimed to be one" I shrug and feel Christian's grasp on my waist loosening. Good. It gives me some sense of relief. "You, on the other hand, do claim. Although your clothing suggests otherwise" another gasp. _Such a drama queen. A queen of darkness with that dress of hers. _"I did hear that a lady knows when she is…oh, unwanted, was it? Or unneeded?"

"What have you done to him?" Her tone is accusing. Seriously? "He can't even speak for himself" Grip tightens again.

"He was perfectly fine before you appear" So fine!

"Just leave" Christian whispers. And both of us stop dead and the night seems to get more silent all of the sudden. We wait for a moment.

"Chris.." Oh, shut up.

"SHUT UP, ELENA" Holy cow! I jump. I do jump as Christian's voice echoes through the walls and into my body. His yell is so powerful that I would pee my panties if I were 'Elena'. I don't move an inch, though. "Leave. Now" He repeats with a now calmer tone and she hesitates for a moment and I think I see tears in her eyes before she turns and leave but I am not really sure because I am not focusing on her any more. My eyes are fixed on the man facing me. His head is bowed and his hair is falling around him. I never noticed how long his hair was until now. We listen together as the sound of her heels hitting the floor gets further and further. When it finally ceases, I see Christian letting out on raged breath before he collapses. His back hits the wall behind him and he slides his body down until he is sitting on the floor with his knees bend up and his forearms resting on them. Slowly and hesitantly, I lower myself down and reach out to place my hand on his arm. I have this insatiable urge to touch him. To come to his aid in any way he needs me to.

"Are you okay?" I ask after what feels like a million years of silence.

"You don't have a million questions? Don't wanna know what the hell is going on?" He says quietly staring at the floor. I see the corners of his mouth curling up a little. A small smile curves my lips in response even if he can't see me.

"I do have questions. And I sure want to know. But it doesn't matter now. What matters is you. So answer me, please" I squeeze his arm willing him to hear me. "Are you okay?" he looks up at me finally meeting my eyes. He is looking at me like I have just told him that the earth is flat and Santa is real. I see something break and mend in his eyes and it takes my breath away for a minute.

"Oh, Ana…" He whispers softly. So softly before he snitches me down in a powerful embrace. _He is hugging me. _Christian Grey is hugging me! I have never been more clueless and lost. After a moment I finally have the power to raise my hands and place them on his back lightly. Once I do that, he buries his face in my neck and squeezes me harder. His hold almost bone-crashing hard but I don't care at this point. I am in this man's arms and I couldn't ask for more at this moment. This beautiful, broken, fucked up, brilliant, rude, ruthless, good-hearted enigma of a man is holding me to him like I am his lifeline and I have never felt more alive than now. Never felt more important, more worthy than now.

**CPOV:**

I hold on to Anastasia for what seems like forever but not enough. I have never hugged anyone before. Only when Mia hugs me and I was never really fond of it. I think I better admit that lately things have been changing for me in every way. I almost lost my shit when I heard that poisonous voice of _her. _Not now. Not when I am open and vulnerable. Not when my walls and defenses are down. Somehow I knew that Ana would help me find my center and she didn't disappoint. I didn't realize how hard I was squeezing her waist until I let go of her and had to flex my fingers. Dammit, I might have hurt her! _No room for self-loathing now, Grey._

And she _took it. _All of it. She was incredible in every way. The way she stood up to a woman she doesn't know, a woman who is considered intimidating. And she didn't even have to know why. I didn't have to tell her anything but she got it anyway. She got that this woman is poison and she started working on an antidote immediately. She got that I wanted her away from me and started giving firm orders. _Beautiful. _I can only imagine how she would do in a high boardroom. Outstanding. I don't even care how weak she must think of me now. I just want to stay in here for as long as I can. But I don't think it is a comfortable position for her.

"Will you freak out if I tell you I wanna stay like this for the rest of the night?" She says quietly. Her voice muffed against my shoulder. I could have sworn that she sighed in contentment but I don't think it would be realistic. Probably my imagination.

"I would probably freak out because it would mean you are inhuman to take being in this uncomfortable position for an entire evening" You know when you think something and say something else entirely. Mostly this something else is dick-ish. Yeah, that is what I tend to do around her. No wonder she thinks I am an asshole. Not that I deny it. She giggles and pulls away from me. _An entire evening?_ Not nearly enough. She looks down as she giggles and a lovely blush covers her face.

"You will be surprised by what I can take" She gives me a warm smile but I see sadness shinning in her eyes and I wish I didn't have such a dirty mind because now I am really wondering what she can _take. How much _she can take_. You are going to hell, Grey_. Yeah, I know. "And by the way, you have an interesting sense of humor"

"I didn't know I had any sense of humor" I say as I reach to tug a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Here comes the blush again. So fucking beautiful.

"You do. And that is the thing. You don't even know when you are being funny" She explains and I smile and shake my head. I finally decide to rise on my feet.

"And now you are saying I am funny" I extend my hand to help her up and she takes it. I suddenly get flashbacks of the first time I saw her on her knees in my office. Back then she didn't take my hand. Now she didn't even hesitate. How much things have changed! _How little things have changed!_ "Are you sure you are okay?" I say with a grin. And she giggles a little. Man, I would jump on one leg and make a fool of myself in every possible way just to hear that giggle. Sadly, our rare peaceful moment is interrupted by the annoying drunk voice of my brother. Seriously, I thought that corridor was isolated. I was even ready to fuck Ana here. Or at least make her come with my hands. Oh, that would have been good. Damn you, Mrs. Robinson! _Mrs. Robinson? Oh, I am gonna have ask Ana about that!_

"Broooo" My brother sings in his worst drunk voice. "You are fucking the lesbo girl again?" He says as he walks, no, stumbles to us. Ana looks up at me with wide eyes.

"I didn't say that" I quickly defense myself. Can't have her turning Red Ana now. At least not Pissed Red Ana. That is not the kind of red I am hoping for. "He is assuming. He is an ass"

"Hey" Elliot protests as he slaps the back of my head clumsily. I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "Bros before…what was it?"

"Hoes?" Ana suggests and looks like she is trying to suppress a laugh. I almost sigh in relief that she is not bothered by my idiotic brother.

"Yeah. Smart girl" He pets her head as he tries to keep his balance. She finally gives up and laughs. I chuckle as well. Fuck, _Bro. _You can be smooth! "Now tell me. Is he any good?...Eww. No, don't tell me. I don't wanna know. Is your lesbo girlfriend interested in men too? I can convince her that we are worth it" He does what he must think is a wink but is actually a shameful abuse of facial muscles.

"You come anywhere near my _lesbo girlfriend_. And _you _will not be _any_ good. Not even to your own fiancée. I will make sure of it. Clear, buddy?" Apparently he is sober enough to see the threat in her words. His cocky smile falls and he nods before he leans to whisper to me.

"She is sorta scary, bro" Yeah, I know. And I know she meant every word. "She will hang your balls in her car's rearview mirror, trust me" I do. We both chuckles because of course Ana can hear him to.

"She doesn't have a car" I say just to mess with him. She looks at me with the question 'how did you know that?' in her eyes. And I stare at her in a challenge. She mouths 'Stalker' and I mouth 'Ditto' back. She bits her lower lip to suppress a grin. Boy, that _lip… _Let me tell you that Anastasia biting her lip is one of the most erotic sights I have ever seen and I have seen _a lot_. I would have one memorable hard-on if my brother wasn't a foot away.

"Whatever" Elliot mutters. "You know what I mea…" And he passes out on my shoulder. He would have thrown both of us on the floor if I didn't catch my balance just in time.

"And off he goes. I gotta get him home" I say to Ana as I adjust my brother limp body placing his arm over my shoulder.

"Is he gonna be okay?" is she worried about him? Why would she worry about him? _Because she is a kind person. Stop being such a psychopath, Grey!_

Okay!

"Not his first time" I say as I start dragging his ass.

"Are you gonna okay? Do you need help? You can't carry him on your own…" I cut her off.

"You would be surprised by what I can take" I throw behind my shoulder with a wink before I walk away. Well, would you know it?! I am actually flirting?! That is flirting, right? God, I am clueless.

Knowing that place better than I should, I manage to sneak him out without being seen. But of course we had to bump into our mother. You know the kind of moms who have superpowers. They can find anything, know anything, do anything and be anywhere. Yeah, that is Dr. Grace for you.

"Oh my goodness!" My mom gasps rushing to us. "What on earth happened to him?"

"What do you think?" I press my lips in a thin line. I am not any happier with my brother's state than her. But again, No news here. Except, my brother has always been good at hiding his missteps from our parents. I think he is losing his touch now but back then it was crazy. Ever since we were kids he would go to great lengths just to make sure he appears as the perfect son. His polishing efforts played a role in making me more of a shitty son in comparison. I can't blame him of course. We were both adopted and he was older so he knew he had to make his new parents happy and he was doing his best to achieve that. It wasn't his intention to highlight my fucked-up-ness. So I don't hate him for it.

"How did I not notice this earlier?! I am such a terrible mother"

"Nonsense. He is a grownup, mom. Or at least he is supposed to be one" I can't believe he is getting married soon. Looks like my mom has the same thought.

"Where is Kate?" She wonders and I shrug as well as my position lets me with my brother's arm over my shoulders.

"KATE" Elliot yells out of nowhere suddenly gaining his consciousness. "I love Kate. I really do" I think that is what he says.

"I know, man. You are marrying her" Whatever possessed you, but you are.

"Yes, I am" He smiles like a love suck fool and I really do see that he loves her. "But you know what I don't love? Monomamy!" What?

"Monogamy?" I suggest with a raised eyebrow.

"That is what I am saying!" He frowns. "Monogamy is the most Didiculous thing EVER" He means ridiculous but whatever! "Just because I love her, doesn't mean she is the one and only pussy I have to be stuck with! How is that fair?! No matter how much I love that pussy, other pussies still appeals to me!" Elliot goes on ranting, unaware that his own mom is in hearing distance. Right beside him, I might add.

"I think it is better if I pretend I didn't hear that" She closes her eyes and looks like she is trying to erase what she just heard from her memory. Truth is, I wish I could erase it too.

"He will kill himself if he knows he said that in front of you" I shake my head. "Go back to your party, Mom. I will take this idiot back to Escale. He can stay in one of my guest rooms. Can't have his bride to be hearing this kind of confessions" No matter how much I don't like Katherine, I know my brother loves her and I have to accept that and act due to it.

"In your apartment? But you never let anyone stays there" True. My apartment is my private place and I like it to stay that way. I have never offered a stay to anyone even my own family. I know I am a dick but you have to see where I am coming from. Not only do I have things there I don't prefer for them to see but also I am not the most social person on earth and I mostly like being on my own. _Then why are you dragging your brother's drunk ass to your apartment now? _ No idea.

"Well…" Say something! "It is an emergency" I mutter shortly and start dragging him to the car where I called for Taylor to wait for us. Once he spots us, he runs over to take Elliot from me and help him into the backseat.

"Christian" My mother's voice stops me before I close the car's door behind me.

"Yes, Mom"

"I don't think I have ever seen you dance before tonight" Shit! There is a playful sly tone in her voice that was never directed my way from her before. I am a grown-ass guy who never had to have an awkward talk about girls with his parents because he never had an interest in a girl. I feel the blood rushing to my face in embarrassment. Fuck, did my mom see me and Anastasia dancing like we are about to fuck?! Fuck fuckity! Am I fucking blushing?!

"Hmmmm" I look down searching for words and come empty handed.

"It was a sight for sore eyes" her suddenly serious tone makes me look up and meet her eyes. They are watery and wide, full of questions I can't answer and emotions I can't understand. I am lost again. I am four years old again and I am broken and beaten and she is trying to save me and I am unable to let her. "Goodnight, Dear"

"Goodnight, Mom" I say before I close the door quickly.

Yes, that raspy chocked voice is mine.

**And the party goes on...**

**The night is still young!**

**Sorry again!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Christian618, I think I can promise you that ;) but up until that very special moment, I can't promise anything!**

**Johana, Elena appeared when Christian was most open and vulnerable (With Ana) his defenses were down and he couldn't face her. He wasn't afraid of her, he was afraid of losing control. Also, now that he admits to himself that she victimized him, he feels violated every time he is reminded of that fact. This chapter and the one following it will clear things us more I hope ;)**

**Dear guest who talked about the '****offer of stand and slam against the wall, balls deep and animalistic raw fucking', You floored me. I kept staring at your review. I love you, I wish you had signed a name.**

**Rosiekin, can't disagree with you, darling. But Elliot is not only a playboy. He is a little immature but he will grow up when the time comes, I promise.**

**Thanks for all the reviews and hope you like that one ;)**

**APOV:**

Ten minutes. It took me ten minutes to stop smiling. Another ten minutes to fully understand what I just did. I just kissed my boss. _Again. _And I can't even blame it on him this time. I am the one who grabbed him and kissed him, I am the one who almost let him fuck me against a wall. No, I almost _begged _him to fuck me against a wall. In a gala. Right where anyone can walk on us.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

I realize that if I let myself stay alone in that haunted corridor, I am gonna lose my shit. So I gather my trembling limbs and walk out back to the party after checking that I don't look like I just got kissed by the son of the woman hosting it. I need to get out of here. Just while I am trying to spot my date to tell him that I want to leave, I bump into my boss. My _direct_ boss.

"Hey, Ana. How do you like the party so far?" Rose is wearing an off the shoulder floor-length dark green dress looking as elegant and pretty as ever.

"It is magnificent" So magnificent I feel like running out of here.

"I know, right?! Grace knows how to throw a good parrrtttyy" Okayyy. Looks like she got a little too much to drink. That is out of the character for Rose. Something must be up.

"Let me take that" I take the wine glass of her hand and drain it in one gulp. Yep, I needed this.

"Woah. Are you okay?" She questions as I give the empty glass to a passing waiter.

"Peachy. You?"

"Over the moon. Did you know that Gwen left the States? She flew to Australia! I drove her out of the country!" She announces it like it is the biggest achievement she ever made. Gwen is Rose's ex wife but that is where my information ends. So I got no idea what to say to that. "And Grace wants me to stay here until Elliot's wedding and I have no reason to leave now so I guess why not. I am so pathetic!" Man, drunk Rose is chatty! Wait a fucking second…

"Are you saying you are not leaving GEH?"

"No. Nope, I am gonna leave. I gotta leave. But I thought I would stay until the wedding you know. Prolong the internship. Haven't told Grey yet so don't tell him" She makes a shushing sound and then giggles a little. Rose giggling? Tonight is full of fucking surprises! "You don't mind that, do you? Prolonging the internship for…let me count…" She narrows her eyes for a full two minutes. What the hell is in that wine? "Ahh…Four weeks…i think?"

"I don't know, Rose" I really don't. "Can we talk about that on Monday?"

"Yeah, Sure" She nods.

"Oh, lord! What the heck is wrong tonight? Everyone is getting uncharacteristically drunk!" an older woman's voice comes from behind us. I turn to see no one but the host of tonight's gala. Dr. Grace. I have seen her and her husband during the speech they gave in the beginning of the night but was never formally introduced to her. I feel all the blood leaving my face. _What is the big deal? So what if I just kissed her son? _It happens!

"Oh, don't worry about me. I will be fine" Rose waves a dismissing hand and she looks way better than Elliot, I must say. "Have you met Ana? Ana, Meet Dr. Grace Trevelyan Grey" She introduces us briefly and I am blushing shades of pink.

"Anastasia Steele, Right?" She extends her hand and shakes mine gracefully. "It is nice to meet you"

"Please call me Ana. The pleasure is all mine, Dr. Trevelyan"

"It is Grace. Only my patients call me that" She smiles and I realize she has the same smile as Mia. I know she is not her biological mother so it is a little crazy but sorta cute.

"So. Did you clear your schedule for the wedding?" She questions and it takes me a minute to realize that she is actually talking to me.

"Me? What wedding?" Totally dumbfounded here.

"Well, Elliot's wedding of course" She responses patiently.

"Am I invited?" I sound like the stupidest person on earth but I am really not getting what is going on. Is she seriously inviting me to her son's wedding a month from now? I barely got an invitation for the gala tonight!

"Of course you are, darling" She pets my shoulder kindly. "Rose has always been a part of the family. She will always be. And now that you are to take her place, you are one of us as well. Or at least you will be"

"I.." I struggle to find words. "I don't know what to say…" No shit! "I mean, thank you of course..I…" She laughs cutting me off.

"I understand that this might be a little overwhelming but we are a very big and affectionate family. You will get used to it" She winks and I find myself smiling. The sincerity in her words and her face takes away my panicking reaction and dissolves it into comfort and…joy, I think. I suddenly envy The Greys sibling for having such a kind mother.

_Don't get sappy on me now, Ana. You don't even know if you are going to stay in GEH. Wasn't leaving once the internship is over your final decision? Now you are letting the woman welcome you in her family just for you to leave them behind? Are you really that desperate for love and acceptance? _

Well, I can't say no to her! Have you seen this woman's face? She is a yes-er! Saying no will be harder than kicking a fucking puppy!

"I will be there. Thank you for such a warm welcoming "I nod and smile trying to hide my nervousness and the internal battle I am having. I feel my phone vibrating inside my purse.

"Excuse me" I mutter and step away pulling my phone out. It is Emma.

"Yes?"

"Ana" She is breathing hard like she has been running and I am immediately alarmed. "Hannah is giving birth"

"What? Isn't she due in another couple of days" I protest trying not to panic.

"I don't know" I hear the sound of traffic around her. "Wade just called me and told me her contractions have started"

"Okay..okay" I pace a little trying to collect my thoughts. "Are they in the hospital now?"

"They are on their way. And so am I. I will next call the guys and tell them"

"GSH?" It is the hospital they agreed on. I witnessed the discussion.

"Yes. I am almost there. Can you come?"

"Of course, I am coming. I am on my way" I say already heading for the exit.

"Sorry to cut your party short, Cinderella" She jokes and I laugh.

I already danced with the prince.

**CPOV:**

I ask Taylor to put my brother in one of my guestrooms and head straight to my bedroom. It is Mrs. Jones's day off and I already had dinner. Just as I reach the door of my bedroom my foot kick something thick on the floor. I look down with a frown and bend to pick the paper I flipped when I kicked it. Once I turn it and take a good look at it I recognize it immediately even though I never saw it before but I knew it existed. I feel all the blood leaving my face, my stomach turning and my dinner threatening to find its way out.

It is a photo. Of me. Of fifteen-year-old me. _Bounded and blindfolded in Elena's dungeon._

My eyes travel over the floor of my hallway to find a trail of these photos everywhere. I follow the trail picking up the different photos like a crazed person.

_How did they get here?_

_Why do they still exist?_

_She said she will destroy them!_

Dread seizes every cell in my body as I pick photo after the other trying not to see what it includes and failing. Photos of me in the most humiliating and compromising positions. Collared and bounded and suspended. The trail takes me upstairs and stops right at the door of my playroom. I freeze with over a hundred photos in my hands. Fear, disgust and shame run through my body in waves, wrecking nerves, clouding my brain and weakening my defenses. I let one single emotion takes over, anger.

I am angry at her and at myself. I am cursing myself for forgetting to change the codes. So I know what is behind this door but when I open I am still surprised when I see Elena completely naked lying on my playroom's bed. She fixes me with a smirk once I step inside and close the door behind me. Now I am beyond furious. I throw the photos in her face. They cover some of her body. She startles and sits up not expecting that kind of reaction from me.

"How come you still have these pictures?" I demand trying to maintain some control over this outraging situation. "You told me you got rid of it! Of course you lied! Why am I even surprised?! Now what? Are you trying to blackmail me into fucking you? How low have you stepped, Elena?! Or perhaps that is just how low you have been all along" Man I have been blind!

"Of course I am not trying to blackmail you! How could you think that?" She blinks faking innocence. I can't bear to look at her. What the hell is she trying to do here?

"Then get out" I order firmly.

"We need to talk" She presses her lips losing the seductive approach to a more serious one. How fast do you switch faces, Mistress?

"You know I can call the police and have you arrested for breaking and entering?" I threaten.

"Please go ahead!" She shrugs. "Let's see what that will do to your reputation when the police arrest a naked woman from your playroom with pictures of your history together?" She runs a finger slowly over one of the photos beside her. The move makes me sick.

"Clearly not trying to blackmail me!"

"Is that what she told you? Tell me, Christian. What kind of lies has she been feeding you about me?" Her eyes are shouting daggers now, filled with hatred.

"The hell you are you talking about!"

"Silly little girl. Anastasia Steele" More blood leaves my face when Anastasia's name leaves her poisonous mouth. So she must have asked about her. Fuck! "God, even her name is ridiculous! Do you really think that little girl could satisfy you or are you just trying to get back at me?" Oh, for god's sake…

"Jealous?" I ask with a provoking smile because I can't help it. I want to see that bitch burn.

"Do you want me to be?" Oh, man. She is taking that the wrong way!

"The only thing I want you to be is far away from me" I say with enough seriousness to let my hatred show in my voice. She stands up from the bed and walk over to me. I try to hold my ground and my stomach. Maybe if I vomit all over her she will finally leave me alone.

"But you know" She whispers "Deep down you know that I can never let you go that easily. Even that slut can't dream of stealing you away. It is enough proof that she knows nothing about me. About us" She smiles smugly and I want to slap it away.

"She doesn't know because she is too pure to be taunted by something as evil and poisonous as you" I say not bothering to hide my disgust.

"Is that what you think of your little angel? Everyone has a dark side, Christian. Even Ms. Prefect must have one. I can see it in her eyes. She is nowhere near innocent" I am not fooling myself. I know there is more to Anastasia than the innocent sweet vibe she gives. It isn't just that she does Krav Maga and can punch like a guy. It is more than that, Deeper. I can see it in her eyes when they darken, her fists when they clench in suppressed anger, her tone heavy with barely there control. I almost see her fear as it turns into wrecking fury, aching to cause some damage. And I know she goes to great length to conceal it all, to protect the nice image her appearance paints. I remember the fear in her eyes when she thought I knew more about her past than I should. It was mixed with shame and regret. It told me that once upon a time she gave into that anger and let it control her. It told me that she vowed it will never happen again. It told me that she hated me for pushing her into breaking her vow.

I am not fooled, I am not mistaken. Because she was never pure light in my eyes. She has always had the darkness inside of her. The same darkness that recognizes me like an old friend every time we crash together and crack each other open.

_I have to redirect the conversation away from Ana._

"Stop talking about her. You know nothing about her" I find myself saying between clenched teeth. Way to go, Grey. Now Elena will stress the pressure point you showed so easily to her.

"Maybe I don't .Now. But I sure intend to know" Her eyes turns wicked and victory shins in her pupils. "Every little thing" She says slowly with a smile so big it makes me queasy. "And then I will prove to you that she is not worth it. And that silly little game will end" Her face turns serious suddenly. And just like that, Ana's terrified face flashes through my mind so strongly. I immediately feel so protective of her. I can't let that woman hurt her in anyway. And I know she will if I don't stop her.

I tell myself that I have to be strong. Not for me, not because I believe that I have to face my demons. No, I am not a fan of this method of treatment. But I have to be strong for Ana. Because tonight I have been weak. I have been a coward and I let her fight my battle for me. I can't do that again. I can't dodge Elena's blows just to put Ana unprotected in the front line. So…

"You won" I say with a painted smile.

"What?" She looks surprised and a little shocked. Good, I want her off balance.

"You want to talk, right? Let's get this over with. Put on some clothes first for god's sake" I wave a hand in her direction.

"Why? Afraid you might lose control? You don't think you can have a serious conversation with me while I am naked, here in this very room. Scared you won't be able to control your desire for me?" She is talking smugy again and I resist the urge to kick her out of here and end this. _Ana. _ Instead, I let out a bitter laugh.

"You are even more delusional than I thought! Desire?" I spit the word like it is a disease. "More like disgust. Yeah that is closer to what I feel. I was trying to save some of the dignity you lost when you showed up naked in the place of the same man who told you he doesn't want you anywhere near him" I say causally "But hey, you wanna stay like this? Your choice, Ma'am" I stress the last word casting her an indifferent glance before I settle on the couch looking more confident than I feel. I will not be weak, I will not be vulnerable. It will be a cold day in hell before I let that woman prey on me one more time. Tonight she will be my prey. And I will be the predator.

Come and get me, you silly thing.

**Yeah, you go Christian! Show that bitch what you are made of!**

**Sorry for the chapter being short but my semester started and my classes are killing me!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Johana and Rosiekin, thanks for wishing me luck. I just got an A in Microorganism and it isn't an easy A ;)**

**Stand Slam (LOL) Christian cares far more about his reputation than Elena cares about her. She is the desperate one here so she thinks if she goes down she will take him down with her. Got nothing more to lose and all that crap. And I totally understand your anonymous, let me know when you do post some stories. Looking forward to it!**

**Hanouna, I will try to work on it ;)**

**Sesshomura'slover, yes he will. Eventually.**

**This chapter wasn't real fun for me to write. I feel bad for CG *Pouty***

**CPOV:**

Thankfully Elena decided to put her dress back on. I have to remember to ask Mrs. Jones to disinfect the entire room after this bitch is gone. Suddenly I remember that my brother is sleeping here tonight. I close my eyes in frustration. She could have chosen any other day for this stupid conversation. Not only do I have my brother a few doors away but also my head is still spinning with thoughts after the moment I had with Anastasia and I have so much things to sort out and think of instead of having to talk to this woman. Rolling my eyes, I pull my cell out and dial Taylor. Realizing that I just rolled my eyes reminded me of Anastasia and causes my lips to twitch fighting a smile. Damn you, beautiful girl. Miles away and still possessing my mind. Taylor picks up on the second ring.

"Yes, Sir. Is everything alright, Sir?" No, everything is not fucking alright. There has been a security misstep and someone will get fired for it but I don't want to talk about that now.

"Is my brother in bed?" I ask shortly ignoring his question.

"Yes, Sir"

"Is he still passed out?"

"Out cold, Sir"

"Lock the door on him from the outside and leave the keys in my office" I order.

"Yes, Sir" He trails off and his tone suggest that he wants to question my weird demand but he isn't going to unless I let him and right now I sure as hell not going to let him. I hung up and finally turn to face the devil. She is seated on the edge of the bed with her legs crossed and her head high like she hasn't just been rejected. Typical Elena.

"You wanted to talk" I state. My tone isn't questioning but unnerving.

"Yes" She nods her head but looks like she doesn't know where to start. I am so going to win this.

"We can start with the fact that you are fucking Collin Fells" I suggest causally but internally I am nothing but causal. I am boiling with anger and hatred.

"Jealous?" She smirks and I almost want to laugh. Almost.

"Repelled. That is more like it" I tilt my head with coolness that surprises me. Considering I want to chock the living shit out of her.

"Well, I am not now. Not anymore. I think he is in some sort of a summer camp now" She waves her hand in a dismissing manner and the move makes me even madder. She couldn't care less about the boy and he is probably still pinning over her across the sea.

"He is in Spain. Will spend at least a year there" I will be a shit lair if I said I didn't enjoy the shocked look on her face.

"How do you know that?"

"Because I arranged it" I add with a smug smile and I watch as her face turns red with anger. Yep, let her get unbalanced.

"What are you trying to do? Start a war against me?" She yells uncrossing her legs and gripping the edge of the bed with her hands in anger. "Is that all because of her?" Not again. I have to get this under control.

"Listen to me carefully for your own good" I lean forward with my forearm rested on knees. My eyes heavy and my tone dead serious. She inhales a deep breath and stares at me. "There are rules for this conversation" I state holding up my hand. "One, don't raise your voice because it hurts my ear drums" I count on my thumb one. "Two, don't try to imply that I feel anything toward you but hatred" I count on my index finger two. "Three, don't speak of Anastasia, ever. Is that understood?" I stare at her through my three raised fingers.

"Christian…" She starts but I cut her off. Here is a new rule to add.

"Four, don't address me by my first name. Now answer my question. Is that understood?" That is my Dom voice and she knows it. She knows I am not fooling around.

"Yes. Now can you answer mine?" She finally gets her tone mono and under control.

"I am trying to protect a fifteen year old boy from the same misery you brought on me" I answer simply.

"I brought you misery? You call the state you are in now misery?" She looks offended. "You are a fucking billionaire, a successful young businessman. A Dom. In control of your whole universe" She eyes me up and down and I see her eyes darken in want and it makes me sick. "I saved you! I made you!" Oh, Hell No! Is she seriously trying to take credit for everything I have ever achieved? Fucking bitch, no one _made _me.

"I owe you nothing! Yes, you gave me the money I started my company with but it was a loan and you got it back and more!" I am losing grip on my control again. "If it wasn't me, this money of yours wouldn't have turned into millions! As for the misery. I think the fact that I haven't had one normal relationship in my life speaks for it" I am seeing red now. that is not good. _Get a grip, Grey! _"I don't even know how to pursue a girl for god's sake!" I curse remembering how many times I fucked up trying to pursue Anastasia. "My only relationships had been interviewed subs chosen by you. You had me under your thumb for years even after I become a fucking Dom. You still controlled my life. You told me it was the only option I had" I am on a roll now. The facts are coming out of my mouth and hitting me in the face so hard I almost feel the blows physically.

"Well it is" She shrugs. The nerve!

"No it is not" I spit out and press my lips trying to control the urge to attack her.

"Oh please don't tell me that s…" She stops. "Someone has filled your head with dreams and hopes and promises of love and happily ever after" She says with sarcasm dripping from her voice. I know she means Ana even if she doesn't mention her name she means her. I again try to redirect it away from Ana. I don't want her dragged into this mess.

"Or maybe I just finally saw you for who you are. A fucking pedophile" I know that will get her attention.

"Believe me. They wanted it as much as you did. I wasn't a pedophile back then, was I?" She challenges with a raised eyebrows. "I was exactly what you needed" She says slowly before she smiles what should be a dreamy smile.

"That is what you made me believe but the truth is you were a pedophile back then and you are one now. God, how blind have I been" I curse under breath and rub my face with my hand. Fuck, I have to say it out load even if the words break me. I have to break her out of her denial and I have to break myself out from mine. Completely. I have to be free of the shame and I don't know how but I will start by confessions. Isn't that the right steps of redemption? You have to confess in order to be free? To be forgiven? "You molested me. You used me and I have been blind to your games" The words come out stronger than I would have hoped for. "You had me blindfolded for years and If I could press charges against you now I would" I close my eyes feeling physical pain in my chest. "But I can't because I have lost my right to protest after too many years of silence and stupidity"

"You wouldn't do that to me, Christian" Her terrified tone makes me look up and see how scared she is. She is trying to hide it but I can see her hand shaking in her lap. "You can't. Not after everything we have…" I cut her off correcting her.

"Had. And yes I will" I nod looking her dead in the eyes. "I will throw your ass in jail with a fucking smile on my face and a lighter heart" I think she is trying not to believe me. I don't care, though. "Now listen to me. I will be watching you. I snitched Collin out of your web but if I ever got much as a sniff that you are even seducing any boys. I will take you down" I deadpan and then stand up buttoning my jacket. "I hope you are into pussy too because it is the only flavor you will be getting when I finally put you where you belong. Can you even imagine what can happen to someone like you in prison?" I say trying to paint a mental image and succeeding when I see the horror clear on her painted face. I walk over to the door opening it. "Now get out of here and never try to come near me again" I say in my end-of-conversation tone and I see from the corner of my vision as she opens like her mouth like she is trying to say something but then decides against it , grips her purse and heads for the door.

"This isn't over" She hisses as she passes me and I resist the urge to step away when her shoulder brushes my chest in her way. I need to hold myself stronger but with the new knowledge of this woman victimizing me, I am more vulnerable around her than I want to be. I release a sigh of relief when I hear my house's door close after her.

The fact that she didn't try to blackmail me through the photos means she really believes that this isn't over. The photos are her last card and she won't use it openly until she is desperate enough. I close the door of my playroom and lean my back against it. My eyes scan the room. Full of memories and flashes. So many has changed in the last two weeks I feel my head spinning every time I try to make sense of it. I don't know what triggered it in me. Was it my new discovery about Elena? Or Ana's sudden invasion of my life and my mind? Thinking of Ana while standing in the same room where I have ever been with a woman beyond business, it makes me think of what kind of relationship I could ever have with Ana. I mean after tonight it couldn't be more clear that we both want each other. She can't deny it anymore. Call it a _mistake. _Even if she tries I won't let her. She has to face it and frankly, so do I.

_"Do you think you want to 'date' Ana?"_

John's words ring in my ears reminding me of my real problem. Even if Ana finally sees sense and dump her 'boyfriend', what will be my next move? I could bring her here. Show her what I am into? I feel my blood running cold as I imagine Ana's eyes scanning the room in horror. I see her eyes finally turning to meet mine and for the first time isn't hunger or lust or even anger in them. It is fear, hatred and _disgust. _I see her running out this very door. I see a future when I will never get to see her again. Touch her again, hear her laugh again, watch her get bat shit angry again, kiss her again…

And all I can think that it will be a horrible horrible empty existence without the disturbance caused by Anastasia Steele.

How has she managed to establish herself in my life so fast is beyond my understanding. I'd like to blame it on a higher power just to convince myself that I am not a helpless fool. I want this woman in a way I never wanted a woman before. Actually I can't even remember _wanting _a woman before. It was always control I was after. The getting off part was a relief too. But as my eyes travel over my playroom I see scenes being replayed in front of me. Faceless, nameless women and all I remember is what their submission made me feel. Can I let Ana be another one of them? I wince at the thought.

She never saw the man I tend to be when I enter this room. The façade I have to put until I get my fix. I had to play the role of the perfectly controlled Dom but most of the time I was aching on the inside like a heroin addict. Skin itching and brain non-functioning like an unwired machine. I have lost sight of what BDSM is about and I have only been using it to feed my sadistic needs. My eyes involuntary go straight to the darkest place in the room. How accurate! I walk over with pained steps. That is where I hang the whips, belts and cans. _The instruments of torture. _That is what they are for me. Although they could be used for pleasure but I know that corner. That is the one I head to when the monster in me takes over completely and all he wants to do is punish.

_Punish her, punish her for her weakness, her ignorance, her neglect, her indifference, her misery, her pain, her entire existence… My entire existence…_

_punish her because she was too ignorant to get rid of me before I came into this life…punish her because she is the first to blame…the first of many…_

_Punish her!_

In a fit, I grab a shaking hold of two whips snitching them and throwing them across the room. Man, that felt good. I do it again and again. And again. Off and away. Off and away.

_"Christian…"_

I hear Ana's voice is my ears. So vivid like she is right beside me that I actually turn scanning the room for her. I feel a tightness in my chest when I find it as empty as it should be. No Ana. _No one for you, Grey. You don't deserve to feel sorry, to be broken, to need comforting. You are the guilty one here. The real monster isn't the one in your nightmares. _I look back at the wall and see that it is completely bare now. I fall against it with my head in my hands.

It doesn't seem possible or realistic that my sadism is cured along with my fear of being touched. Shit like this just doesn't happen. There is no such thing as a cure for the darkness that has been living and building castles inside of my soul for years. Fed by anger and fear. Growing into an indestructible mess. Planting solid roots into my bones and my brain and my spin. No, it isn't possible. And getting rid of the whips and cans won't chase the monster away, not when it is right in me.

But the weird thing is, even the monster in all his glory winces at the thought of hurting Anastasia Steele.

**Deep? How did this one feel?**

**Can't wait to know what you think ;)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Your reviews on last chapter were so amazing I kept re-reading them over and over. I am so overwhelmed and super happy. Thank you thank you thank you. I hope I never disappoint any of the amazing creatures you are.**

**WARNING: Ana's past is way more complicated than you may think. It is not just sexually and physical abuse she endured. So many things happened to her. we will get to know them one by one. But I have to say that Christian was right last chapter when he said that once upon a time Ana gave in to her anger and let it control her, turn her into something she is not. _She didn't do something awful but she made a little mess and she blames herself for it_ Wait for more ;) *Evil laugh***

**PS: Wade is totally Blake Shelton in my head ^_^**

**APOV: **

_Traffic is frustrating. I have to abandon the taxi and run the rest of the way. I run faster as I hear the driver shouting behind me. I don't really hear him. His voice is muffed just like my vision is blurred. I don't know if I am crying. _I don't care if I am crying_. All I care about is pushing my weak aching legs faster and faster. Cursing the gym classes I missed. I curse and curse and my cursing does nothing to chase my fear away, does nothing to calm my anger. The anger directed toward no one but me. It is weird how this day started a normal as hell. It all went to shit when Sara didn't show up for chemistry class. Then comes the whispers…it was only whispers I heard because no one talks to me now. No one comes near me. I am like a trouble magnet. An object with germs all over it. Stay away or you will get hurt. The reason I am running only proves how right they are._

_"….Hospital…."_

_"….Derek's dad…"_

_"….scandal…"_

_"….Didn't know….was pregnant…"_

_"…. Abortion…."_

Abortion. _That was my key word. And that is why I am running. I have to stop this. I don't know how but I will. A chocked sob escapes me when I finally reach the entrance of California Central Hospital. My hands are grabbing my kneecaps, my air is burning my lungs but I won't stop. I can't stop._

_I run inside like a mad person. Asking the first one I meet where the abortions are done. I ignore the stares I get and ask for the name, Sara Ward. Tell me where to find her, Damn you!_

_Sara Ward has been one of the two people who befriended me when I first got here in California. When I first met Derek and she was his best friend and so soon the three of us were inseparable. So it wasn't such a surprise when she took his side when I and Derek broke up. The surprise was him getting her pregnant three months after we broke up._

_It all doesn't matter now. _

_"Third floor. Room 213" Finally getting my answer. The elevator is too crowded, I take the stairs. Three a step which is a record for a short girl like me. Not soon enough I am in the third floor searching for the number. 213…213…213…a number I will never forget._

_I don't sigh in relief when I find the room. Instead, I hold my breath as I knock before opening the door carefully. The first thing I see is the teary eyes of Sara. They harden when they land on me, her brown irises turn darker, hatred shins from them causing what's left of my conscious to twist in pain and guilt._

_"What are you doing here?" She demands but her voice is shaking. "What is she doing here?" She turns to ask her sister who is sitting by the bed quietly like she always is._

_"Sara, I am s…" I start but the words are tangled in my tongue, locked up in my throat._

_"Don't you dare apologize" She cuts me off her voice strong considering the state she is in. "You don't have the right to be sorry. It is all your fault"_

_"I know. I know. Just please, don't do this. Please" I beg her with my eyes and my voice._

_"Do you think I had a choice?" I don't miss the word 'had' and I feel something break inside me. "It is over. It is dead" She answers my unspoken question. "My baby is dead. You killed it. If it wasn't for you, Derek will still be here. We would have been together and we would have kept it. You killed my baby" Her accusing tone weakens with every word and dissolves into pure sorrow. Her sorrow cuts me deeper than her accusation, her hatred. "Get out. I never want to see you again. I wish we never met you. I wish you never moved in here. You are poison. You only hurt those who come near you"_

"Ana…Ana, Oh my god. Are you okay? ANA" Jose's panicked voice startles me back to reality and I realize that I am actually hyperventilating on the side of the road right where I got off the taxi that brought me here. It took me a minute to get a grip on what's real and what's just an awful flashback of one of the worst moment in my life seven years ago. That is exactly why I avoid going to hospitals.

"I am fine" I say mainly to assure Jose who is cupping my face in his hands and looks like the best description of worried and helpless. "I am fine now I just panicked a little. Hospitals freak me about a little bit" I say in a rush finishing off with a nervous laugh. Man, do I deserve an Oscar?!

"I know. I know why" He nods expressing his understanding as he helps me to regain my footing. He thinks he knows but really doesn't. Back when I was seven I fell of the swing and broke my leg. I had to be taken to the hospital and just for my luck there has been a big accident and the place was going crazy when I got there. I saw blood and burnt flesh, open wounds. I saw dead people. I heard their final screams. Things a child of my age should never witness but the accident was so big that everyone was too busy to care enough to conceal that destruction away from the eyes of a seven-year-old. I didn't speak for two days after that. I don't really remember if I actually _couldn't _or just didn't _want _to talk. Jose thinks that is the reason why I freaked out. But he is wrong. "Are you okay now?"

"Yes" I nod cursing myself internally for being so weak and miserable. For letting my past haunt me so strongly, for letting it consume my present that way.

"You look really beautiful, baby" Jose remarks when he finally steps away to allow me to stand on my own. We stop right at the entrance of the hospital. "But don't you think this dress is a little too fancy for an emergency hospital run?"

"Oh" My mouth forms an O when I remember that I never mentioned anything about the gala to Jose. "I have been in a gala. It is work related" I say simply trying to shrug it off.

"You were?" His tone hardens along with his brown eyes. "And you don't think that as your 'boyfriend' it is something I should be aware of" I sigh bending to take off my heels. Fuck, my feet are killing me.

"This is ridiculous. When have I ever asked for your permission when it comes to my whereabouts?" I ask feeling my feminist self kicking and screaming in protest.

"I am not saying you needed my permission" Oh, so I am putting words in his mouth now? "I am just saying you should have told me. Even if you thought it was okay to ask someone else to be your date" He says accusation dripping from his voice.

"There were no dates, okay?" I throw my arms in the air in irritation. "I am an intern. I don't get a plus one" I am too tired to explain myself now. "It was just a stupid party, Jose. Will you get over it?!"

"I don't want to get over the fact that I am less involved in your life than I should be, than I want to be" His tone is almost sad now, sorrowful and it is like an arrow in my chest.

"Hey, Assbutts!" We both turn to see David climbing the few stairs leading to the entrance. Thank god and it is late and the streets are empty or we wouldn't be allowed to stand like this blocking a hospital entrance. "You are fighting at the entrance of a freaking hospital!" David shouts stating the obvious. "Hannah is shouting babies out of her vag at the moment. I am sure it is more important than your teen drama" He adds when he reaches us and we both look down in shame. "Get over it and let's get the fuck in" He doesn't wait for us heading for the door.

"I parked the car wrong in a hurry. I will go adjust it. You go ahead and I will be right behind you" Jose mutters quickly to no one in particular before he turns to walk away. I follow David with my head down.

"Looking smokin', Ana" David says in his special way of making me feel better. It doesn't work. I glance behind my shoulder watching Jose climbing down the stairs."How was your night, princess? Had fun with the rich?" He slips out trying to distract me and I see Jose stops dead for a second, a sign that he heard. Fuck, almost everyone knows I had a party tonight except him! Feeling more stabs of pure guilt and self-hatred, I turn and follow my womanizer friend inside.

"A long one, but clearly not long enough" I mutter in answer.

Four hours later and we are still in the waiting room. I am still in my dress which getting more uncomfortable with every passing minute. I don't have the energy to worry about that. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Why? Ten minutes ago, Kevin _who is by the way, Hannah's doctor_ broke not-so-good news saying that there have been some sudden complications and they have to move Hannah to the operation room for a Caesarean section . Therefore, Wade is locked here with us in that very room, pacing the floor like a mad man. Thank god Emma took Bella home or else he would have scared the poor girl.

"Wade" I say softly. If he keeps pulling on his hair like this he is going to go bald tonight. He doesn't answer or look at me. I don't think he even heard me. "Wade. Please calm down. You are gonna have a stroke" I stand up.

"I need some air" He mutters under his breath before storming out of the room. I sigh and fall back on my chair. The open door causes a rush of air to hit the room making me shiver in my very thin dress. I rub my upper arms with my hands and suddenly I feel a jacket being thrown over my shoulder. I look up and see Jose taking the seat beside me while he adjusts the jacket on my skinny form. I am still swimming in it. I grab it wrapping tighter around me welcoming the warmness it brings.

"Thank you" I whisper and he doesn't reply. He just sits there staring at the floor. I wish I knew what he is thinking. Sometimes I wonder about the day Jose will come to hate me too. Come to learn the damage he is enduring to himself by simply loving me. Sometimes I wonder if this happening sooner will be better than waiting for that awful moment knowing it will come. I wonder if he will hate me now if I tell him that I kissed another man. I wonder if I should.

"I am gonna go check on Wade. Make sure he doesn't jump off a cliff" I am pretty sure that chocked voice is coming from me but I quickly raise and clear the room with Jose's jacket around my body. I wish our problems were like rooms. I wish they had doors you can use to get out and close it behind you forever. _Is it that exactly what you do with all your problems?_ Another blast of air hits my body once I step out of the hospital main door. I spot Wade immediately. He has something in his hand which he raises to his mouth. Oh, shit. I nearly run over to him thankful that I already took off my shoes and the floor of the entrance is cemented.

"Wade! Cigarettes again?" I almost scream snitching the poisonous thing from his mouth. "Do you wanna go through this nicotine patches stage all over again? Was it fun?" I can't believe that shit. It took him over a year to quit that shit and he has been clean for more than seven years. And he chooses the day he is having a baby for the second time to go back to that nasty habit.

"Cut me some slick" He rolls his eyes. "It is just one" He all but whines.

"Never is" I narrow my eyes at him in refusal extending my palm open. He stares at it for a second then he pulls the cigarettes package out of his pocket and handles it to me with a deep sign. I throw it in the closest garbage can. "Hannah will kill you for this" He laughs a weird half-sad half-bitter laugh and the sound is so wrong.

"I hope she does" He mutters finally and I frown getting his meaning. I understand that he is worried but does he really think he will lose her? Women do Caesarean sections everyday and no one dies. Chill, dude!

"Aren't you an optimistic?!" I glare at him and this seems to set him off because he nearly goes nuclear after it.

"The love of my life is lying drugged on a metal table and a bunch of bastards are cutting her belly open to pull out my son" His tone is dead series and his eyes are burning hole in my head. I shiver under the strong emotion in his tone. It is always moving when you see a man that deeply in love. A man so strongly connected to a woman like she is a part of him, a second half. I would go as far to say that the best thing about Wade is the way he loves his wife. "And I can do shit about it but wish those bastards don't fuck up. I think I have earned being a little down"

"Kevin said she will be okay" I roll my eyes but I actually understand where he is coming from.

"Kevin is an asshole" He turns to face the open street again. "He is just saying that to calm me down" He kicks a small rock with his foot lightly passing it to mine.

"I can see how the fact that he worries about you makes him an asshole yeah" I grin and pass the rock back to him.

"Talk about something else. Distract me" He shakes his head and kicks the rock to me again. We do it again, it is kinda smoothing.

"I think I wasted my money on that new shaving kit. I mean the hair grew back so fas…" He laughs cutting me off and I immediately stop talking.

"Oh my god. Shut up" gladly! I am as uncomfortable talking about this stuff with you but I am just trying to take your mind off and I am kinda of an idiot. "Something else please" He asks again and this time his eyes are lighter with a hint of humor.

"Something real?" I suggest.

"That would do" He shrugs.

"I think I should break up with Jose" I mutter quickly. _What?_

"What?" His eyes widen comically it almost makes me laugh.

"I still think my new shaving kit is far more important and interesting" I say trying to cover my tongue slip but I know I said it and there is no turning back now.

"What is wrong with you?" Wade wonders shaking his head and I have to laugh at that. _What is wrong with me? _Well, where do I start? Soon, my laughter turns hysterical. Manic, loud and off. I laugh until tears escape my eyes and run down my check and I try not to cry.

"I don't know. I guess it is a pretty long list" I say finally as I wipe the wetness of my face hoping Wade won't worry about me.

"We can start with why you wanna break up with your boyfriend" he offers quietly and I am suddenly thankful for his calm nature coming back.

"I don't want to" I correct. "I have to. I…" I bite my lower lips trying to keep the words in. "I kissed someone else" I say meeting Wade's eyes. I know he is not that old but Wade has always been my second Ray. I mean no one can replace my dad's role in my life but Wade just reminds me of him, a younger version of him. The version I looked up to when I was a little girl. That is why I consider him the big brother I have always wished for. So you can understand how hard it can be to tell him that.

"Whoa" His mouth stays on the shape O for a moment before he finally regains his composure. "Okay, so you are breaking up with Jose to be with that someone else?" He asks carefully. I have to laugh again.

"Surprisingly no" I answer screwing up my nose. "I don't even know what he wants form me" I shrug. "I mean he obviously wants to screw me but is that it? No idea"

"So ask him" I actually have to think about that for a moment.

"We don't have that kind of relationship" I shake my head. When has either of us ever got a straight answer from the other? How about never!

"Meaning?" He frowns. Oh, I have to explain that!

"I tend to lose my mind around him" I sigh staring at the floor. "I mean it is like when he is near I got so unhinged it is scary. My brain turns dysfunctional in an impulsive destructive way" I shiver and try to blame it on the cold and not remembering the way I feel when this man do much as look at me. _When he touches me…_"I lose total control on my tongue"…_In his mouth. _"And my body"... _Against his._ Shut up! "It is crazy" I shake my head. "Do you think I am crazy when I am with you guys?" I turn to look at him and he is studying me impressively.

"Pretty much yeah" He answers a smile curving his mouth slightly.

"Well you have seen nothing. It is like ten-folded around him" I explain. "I mostly get bat shit crazy. Even when he is not around he seems to possess an awful lot of my thoughts" I feel penetrated. How has he managed to establish himself in my life so fast?

"So you are attracted to him" He half-states half-questions. That is it? That is all you got from all that confusion?!

"You could say that but it doesn't mean shit because who wouldn't?!" I roll my eyes. "The man is the epitome of male perfection. Powerful _and _beautiful. I am such an unlucky bitch" I close my eyes trying not to get flashbacks from my moment with him tonight.

"I can see how having a hunk of man drooling over you is pretty unlucky" He chuckles and I chuckle along with him. "Is that all?"

"What do you mean?" I frown.

"Physical attraction. Lust. Whatever you kids call it these days" He smiles slightly.

"I don't know" I drop my smile and my head. "He confuses me. I am terribly curious when it comes to him" I frown hoping Wade doesn't make the connection that I am talking about the same guy he got a background check about for me. "But he isn't always...nice" I laugh internally. Actually 'nice' is the last word to describe Christian Grey. "He can be such an asshole and sometime he makes me feel like shit" And I don't think I can trust him. Not with my feelings, not with my secrets and certainly not with my heart. He is an invader, an unapologetically conqueror. And the problem is even though I put on a rough exterior, I am anything but tough and strong on the inside beyond that thick shell. And I don't think he will take such good care of my fragile interior. I can't trust him to stay out of it and I can't trust him with it if he doesn't stay out. "What I do know is that I want him. And I know that I shouldn't be with Jose. It is not fair to Jose. He deserves more than that" I say firmly.

"Ana, I am not gonna tell you what to do" He says seriously. "But according to you that guy doesn't look trustworthy to me. And the fact that you care that much about Jose's feelings must be saying something"

"What are you saying?"

"I am just saying that you shouldn't give up something you value that much for something as short-lived as lust" Just when I am about to ask for more clarification a phone goes off and it isn't mine. Wade pulls his phone out of his pocket. "It is David" He says before he picks up the call. I don't know if his hand is shaking or it is just my imagination.

"Okay…Okay. Are you sure they are okay?" I hear him say quickly. "Okay. We are coming back up" He is already moving toward the entrance and I am following him.

"Alright?" I ask once he closes the phone.

"I have a boy" He turns to me with a grin on his face so big it actually makes me grin as well. "Come on, let's check him out"

**Pleasssse don't hate on Wade! I am actually kinda of in love with ath dude ;)**

**He is not team Jose/Ana, He is not Anti-Grey. He is just looking after Ana and acting on the information she is giving him.**

**You can see clearly that Ana has MASSIVE trust issues. And for good reasons, I promise. Also CG offered no kinds of reasons for her to trust him, right?**

**PS: Anyone saw the Supernatural reference ;) Assbutts**

**Oh, and happy Valentine's Day, guys! Anyone is gonna see the FSOG movie?**


	23. Chapter 23

**Rosiekin, you always amaze me :D**

**As for the lovely Guest who said that this story deserves more reviews. You are so sweet and I love you. I would write for every single one of you on her own. All I care about is that there are great people who read and like my story, it doesn't matter how many. I only want your reviews because I actually like to know what you think. Nothing more! Thank you for being so sweet for this world ;)**

**On with it…**

**APOV:**

"Were you even gonna tell me?" Jose's voice startles me once I entre my living room. I just tucked Emma in my guest room after she asked me to crash here because her place is on the other side of the city and we were all dead tired after spending the night in hospital. Looks like David and Kevin have already fled to their apartment and of course Wade stayed in the hospital with Hannah and the baby so it is just me and Jose now. Man, I hoped I would be able to get some sleep first.

"Tell you about what? What are you talking about?" He is sitting on the big sofa with his hands clasped on his lap. I busy myself with pretending to sort out the mess that is always my living room.

"I heard you earlier with Emma. You told her you were going to that wedding she is planning in June. Did I hear it wrong?" I stop my movement for a second and then continue moving around again like it is just a casual conversation.

"No, it is true. The groom happens to be my boss's brother. His mom invited me in the party tonight"

"Oh, really? You mean the party I didn't know about until you came back from it. When were you gonna tell me about that wedding too? After the newlyweds have their first baby?" Sarcasm isn't a Jose thing. He never uses that tone. It pulls the mat from under my feet for a moment.

"Please, are we gonna do it again? The sun is up already and we need to get some sleep" I give up and turn to face him completely.

"Yes we are doing this right now, Ana. Right here and right now" He digs his feet in.

"Alright" I sigh and take the seat beside the sofa. "I just got invited. I didn't get an invitation yet. Hell, I don't even know if I am gonna go"

"Are you sure? Because I just heard you telling Emma you will help her that day. It means you are pretty much decided so were you just going to go without me or did you just assume that I will be free to go"

"What are you trying to say?" I rub my temple feeling a huge headache coming."You know none of this would happen if you weren't eavesdropping to my conversations" I add.

"So it is my fault now? I didn't mean to eavesdrop, Ana. I heard it accidently. And you know none of this would happen if you were just being honest with me!" He jumps up and starts pacing the floor.

"Are you saying that I am a liar?" Excuse me?!

"I didn't say that" He points his finger in my face. "Stop doing that. Stop putting words in my mouth you do that a lot. How about you start treating me like I am your partner and not just a friend you hang out with and fuck often" He rubs the back of his head. "I am saying that you hide things from me and it will make our lives a lot easier if you would just stop that" His tone is calmer now.

"Stop what?" I frown.

"Stop shutting me out" He shouts out. "I love you, Ana" He grabs my face and cups it in his hands. "I love you" He whispers slowly. "You are it for me and you knew that from the very beginning. And I wasn't a fool. I knew you weren't the same sixteen-year-old girl whose mom dragged away from me years ago. I knew you have changed and I accepted that because I knew that no matter what, this sixteen-year-old girl is still hiding there somewhere. Under the fear and the anger, you are still that sweet girl" I try to shake my head. To tell him that he doesn't _know _anything. Tell him that this girl is gone for good and he should stop looking for her. But the problem is, I want to believe that this sweet girl isn't gone completely. Because she is the one who is keeping me going. The hope that I will one day overcome my problems and embrace this girl again, this what is keeping me going. Because this girl had hopes and dreams and believed in happily ever after, this girl just wanted to be happy. And Jose believes in her more than I do. I don't want to let go of that fairytale hope. I am stupid enough to hold on to it. So I stay silent and let him search the depth of my soul for her but the question stands still, _Is she even still in there? _"I will never stop fighting for that girl and I am trying" He closes his eyes and rests his forehead against mine. "I am trying to reach in to her but you have to help me too, Ana. You have to meet me halfway. I can't keep doing this alone. I…" His voice breaks and I feel the tears rolling down my checks.

"I love you. I really do" I sob my hands stocking the back of his head.

"I know, baby. I know" He takes a deep breath and clears his throat. "I just wish you would open up to me. Let me in. Can you promise me you will try?" He backs away and meets my eyes. His desperate brown eyes searching my face for answers. Answers that I can't give. Because I am a mess and I am confused. Because I love this man but I don't know if I am in love with him. And I don't know if this will ever be enough. When I didn't answer for a few moments he just closes his eyes again, swallows and looks like he is in pain. I swallow the lump in my throat and the threat of more tears to come. He presses a soft kiss on my forehead before he lets go and walk out of the door without a word.

What just happened?

I didn't sleep that night. I also didn't sleep the night after it. And I didn't hear a pip from Jose since he walked out. I am back at GEH on Monday and I haven't caught a moment of peaceful sleep for two nights. My mind is going in an overdrive. Searching for whys, hows and what to do now. And for the first time I realize that even after the background check I got on Grey, I still don't know shit about this man. Does he have a girlfriend? Does he even do girlfriends? Who the fuck is Elena and what kind of 'history' could he has had with her? All I know is a third person glimpses of his past life as an adopted child and I realize it is nowhere near enough to form any kind of opinion of this man, This man who manages to steal my sanity, my dignity and my morals with one single touch. I could blame it all on him if I want but I am guilty as well.

_"Trust me. That boyfriend of yours is the last of our problems"_

I hear the echo of his words in my head taunting me. Who the fuck does he think he is? And the fact that it doesn't seem like a problem to him that I have a boyfriend means he could be having one as well_, one or_ _ten_. I know I may be going beyond reasonable right now and I am well aware of my trust issues. But every little gut instinct tells me that I should run away from this man as fast as my weak legs would take me. Wanna know what is my final decision? Wait for it.

I followed my gut. I always follow my gut, it never failed me.

So yeah, I am in the hiding now. Sue me.

"Delivery for Ms. Anastasia Steele" Olivia's voice pulls me to the now world and I turn to find her carrying one big ass bouquet of wild pink roses. Yikes, I hate pink roses. Who the hell sent those? For a moment I consider it being from Grey and I see a picture of me walking into his big bad office and planting them over his arrogant head.

"Thanks, Olivia" I take the roses from her ignoring the curious and knowing looks I get from Adam and Andrea. That should be interesting. I find the card between the roses.

**Sorry about yesterday.**

**I love you, Ana. Always have, always will.**

**Jose xx**

It is Jose. I feel my heart sink and I want to punch myself in the face. Why the hell would I want Grey to send me flowers? And why the fuck would he even do something like that? It is not like he is my boyfriend or something. No, Jose is my boyfriend. I suddenly realize that I was actually looking forward to fighting with him if these roses were his. There must be something _really_ wrong with me. I shake my head at myself and re-read the card without Grey being in my mind. How sweet of Jose. He is apologizing and it wasn't even his fault, Dammit.

With a sigh I place the roses on my desk and dive back into my work. The time passes with killing slowness and I finally see the people leaving for lunch breaks. God, I just wanna go home.

"Hey, Ana. I will go drop these at the IT then I will be back to take you. Chinese, right?" Adam says as he passes my desk on this way.

"Sure" I confirm giving him two thumbs up. Once he turns I huff one huge breath out and drop my forehead on my desk like I have just been shot. I don't like Chinese but Emma does and that is what counts. She will be meeting me and Adam for lunch but neither of them knows the other is coming. I am not big on setting up people. I hated it when Emma did that to me back before me and Jose got together. But now I am taking a page out of her book and setting her up with Adam. Because A, she needs a distraction from one hottie engaged blond. B, Adam deserves a sweet girl like Emma after his bitch of a fiancée. Don't get me wrong, I checked to make sure that he is totally over that bitch. I wouldn't put Emma in that sort of danger to get her heartbroken for the hundredth time. I may be a shitty friend but not that shitty. Also I realized that his crush on Mia has already ended after a full night spent with her. I mean Mia is amazing but dammit, the girl can talk. And not everyone has the capacity and the patience to hear. So I knew when we talked this morning that he got over his crush._ I wish I had the sense to do just the same with the other Grey God_.

" 'Always have, always will' " His smug voice taunts me in my head. Or was it out load, fuck me now I am imagining things! "This is cheesy" Nope, definitely him. Maybe if I keep my head hidden and my eyes closed he will just go away? "Do women truly still fall for these clichés?" His words suddenly make something clicks in my brain causing my head to snap up from its hiding.

_Oh, no he didn't?_

Oh Yes, he did!

My suspicion is confirmed when I see his highness looking down with a deep frown on nothing but the card that once was between the pink roses. _Shit, he is beautiful even with a frown!_ No! _Kinda cute on him actually! _ No fuck, shut up!

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" I yell-whisper snitching the card out of his hand. His frown turns into a smug smirk when he recognizes my anger. Does he get a kick out of making me angry? Wouldn't put it beneath him.

"Mouth, Ms. Steele" He whispers almost playfully. His voice is low and husky and _strong strong I gotta be strong I gotta be strong I gotta…_

"You can't just go snooping around in people's personal stuff" I spit out throwing the card in my purse to hide it from his piercing eyes. Why do I feel guilty? I shouldn't!

"Sure I can" He tilts his head to the side clearly enjoying himself. "It is my company. There shouldn't be any personal stuff here in the first place and if there is, it is a free pass" I want to say 'no it is not' but I know he is right. Fuck, he did win that round! His eyes fall on the roses and he glares at them like he could set them on fire just with his mind. For a moment I truly thought the roses would inflame before my eyes and it wouldn't be such a wonder compared to the wonders I saw with this guy. "You hate pink roses" he mutters almost to himself and I am startled.

"How do you know that?" I am half-shocked half-annoyed that he knows that. But a part of me is thrilled. I hate that part. I also hate the stupid butterflies in my stomach. Stupid stupid little fuckers.

"I just know" He says dismissively while still glaring at the hideous roses. I am stunned into silence for a few seconds. I stare at him as his face twist in what looks like concentration. _Stop staring at him! _"What happened yesterday?" he finally speaks meeting my eyes and it takes me a second to get my mind untangled so I can take his words in. Man, I am pathetic!

"What do you mean?" I question with a frown.

"He said sorry about yesterday" He explains nodding toward my purse where I hid the card. "And you look like you haven't slept in days" He glares at me like it is my fucking fault that I haven't slept. He is scolding me again, isn't he? _Quit. Will you, dad? _I don't miss the underlying concern in his eyes but I just choose to ignore it.

"Always the charmer, Grey" I roll my eyes and his glare hardens. Oh, yeah! I had forgotten his weird hatred for that move. His irritation almost makes me smile.

"Answer me" He demands pressing his lips into a thin line. Ordering me around? Who the fuck do you take me for, Grey?

"None of your fucking business that is my answer" I snap feeling my blood boiling. Oh, the fucking nerve. _When have I become too sweary? _He steps closer to me and I resist the urge to step back in reflex. I don't want him to think he is intimidating me. Although the look on his face is pretty damn intimidating in anyone's book.

"Wrong answer" He breathes out. His voice is controlled but there is a hint of anger in it I don't miss. _When do I ever miss a thing when it comes to this man? And even with all the concentration I am still as clueless as I was in day one._

"Don't pretend to know a thing about me, Grey" He thinks he can just walk into my life like he owns it and I will just, what? Let him? No fucking chance. "Just because you stalk me and dig into my past doesn't mean you know me. Doesn't mean you know what goes on in my personal life"

"You ran back to him, didn't you?" His tone is accusing now. What the hell?! "When will you stop being a scared little girl" Now there is disappointment in his voice and it cuts deep because his words hit home and I feel the blow. It hurts like a bitch.

"You are a fucking asshole, Grey" I feel my throat closing up and tears threatening their arrival. I have been crying so much in the past few weeks! Fuck, maybe he is right. I am such a scared little girl. _No, he is a bully! Don't let him bully you into hating yourself. Been there, Steele. Not again. _Never again.

"That is old" He is mocking me now. "Try something new"

"How about leave me the fuck alone"

"So you can pin over your Ex in peace? Sure" His mocking smile is poison and all I want to do is rip or punch it of his face. And I know just how to do that.

"He is not my Ex, you idiot" here it falls, the smile is gone. "We are still together. We had a fight that is all. A normal activity in a mature relationship. if you have ever had been in one, you would know" I raise my chin in challenge watching as all the mocking humor leaves his face replaced by a much much darker expression. Shit, that is sorta scary. Before I can resist or protest he grabs my upper arm in a death grip and drags me into his office shutting the door behind us. _Well, _that _is old! Try something new, will you?! _He corners me into the wall beside the door. His body is close to mine but not touching. Fuck, even with a hair thin space between us I feel the electricity running in the air. Suddenly I don't feel too confident anymore. Don't lose your shit on me now, Steele!

"Do you love him?" He asks almost urgently looking me dead in the eyes, daring me to lie. I know I can't lie when he is looking at me like this.

"You have no right to ask me that" I hiss lowering my head to fix my gaze on the floor.

"I have every fucking right" he says between clenched teeth as he uses his index finger to raise my chin up gently forcing me to meet his gray storms again. His tone lethal, his eyes burning with fire, all contrast to his gentle touch holding my face up. "Answer my question, Anastasia" He orders. He truly thinks that he holds all the power, doesn't he? How delusional! _Is he now?_

"Not before you answer mine" I hold my ground. "Do you have a girlfriend?" I utter stupidly and curse myself immediately. Of all the things I want him to answer, you chose this?

"What?" he looks surprised by my question. Like it is the last thing he expected me to say. "No" He answers firmly.

"Do you do girlfriends?" His firm answer generates that question. I narrow my eyes waiting for his answer and I see his eyes harden. His finger drops from under my chin but my chin stays up. It is funny how much of a symbol this is. If I have trusted him to hold my head up it would have dropped once he backs off. "I guess that answers my question" I can't hide the bitterness in my tone. I slip my body away from his and head for the door.

"You still haven't given me an answer" He says stopping me in my tracks. Was I an idiot when I thought he will let it go? Probably yes.

"You want an answer?" I turn to face him now glad that we have at least a safe foot distance between us. At least now I can breathe like a normal human being and not a cat on heat. "Yes, I love him" I answer looking him in the eye, willing him to believe it and just let it the fuck go. The broken look on his face floors the hell out of me. He shouldn't be hurt! He shouldn't! And I shouldn't feel that knife twisting in my chest. "Look, I am sorry I kissed you, I shouldn't have…" I find myself saying but he cuts me off with a curse under his breath.

"For god's sake not again" he runs his hand in his hair and looks like he is about to lose his mind. "Not this fucking shit again" He shakes his head at himself like he thinks he may be in a bad dream and can wake up if he wants to. The knife twists deeper.

"What did you expect?" I chock out finally losing my dear-held composure.

"Anything but this" He shouts out. "Anything but your denial and your games!"

"I am not in fucking denial, okay?" I glare at him. "I am well aware that I want you. Or at least my body does but I am not some naïve twat and I won't let my libido make my decisions for me" I say more to myself than to him.

"You seem to have let it do just that a couple of times" He challenges me.

"It is your fault" I shout pointing an accusing finger at him. "You touch me and I am a goner" I admit throwing my arms in the air. _Why am I saying that? _I see his eyes darkens for a moment and he looks like he is about to step closer but hesitates when he sees the warning in my eyes. It is like we just had a complete conversation without saying a word. It is crazy!

"You can't go around saying stuff like that" He runs his fingers through his hair again, pulling harder on the strands. Man, that gotta hurt!

"I am being honest" I raise my eyebrows. "Isn't that what you want?"

"You are not being honest. You are fucking with my head" He snaps turning his back on me. Like he is trying to block me out. Is he seriously acting like he is the victim here?

"Do you think I am playing a game?" I am beyond angry now. "You want me to come straight? Fine! First, what do you want from me?" He wants honest? Let's see if he can live up to what he wants. He turns to face me again. His lips part and the silence around us is defeating. "No answer. Alright" I say after what felt like a year but probably just a few seconds. My patience is wearing thin. "What do you know about my past?" That one I really wanna know.

"What do you know about my past?" He asks me the same question stepping closer in challenge.

"You see?" I throw my arms in the air. "That is what I am talking about. We can't even trust each other! We can't build a relationship on blind lust. There are a lot of other things more important and fundamental than that" I plead with him but I am also pleading with myself. I realize that I am making assumptions that he actually wants to start a relationship with me. "I don't do one-night stands or summer flings. Not even to get it out of our systems" I shake my head in refusal. I may be emotionally distant but I am sober enough to admit that this isn't the case with Christian. He can play fucking guitar with my emotions, for fuck's sake! I know I won't survive a fling with this man.

"What do you expect?" He almost screams at me looking like he is losing his patience.

"Your heart" I find myself whispering out. At first I am not sure he heard me but then I look at his face and I know he has. Stupid me saying stupid things. "Will you give it to me?" My voice is almost pleading, pathetic. "Completely?" I add biting my trembling lip. Don't fucking cry. You don't need tears to look like a fool, you already do!

In less than a second I see a thousand emotion flushes through his eyes before they become empty like they have never been. Glassy gray and void. It is like a set of walls has been built up and I am bluntly shut out. He has never done that with me before and I am surprised by how much it hurts to be casted-out from the maze that is Christian Grey, the maze I have been cursing for weeks. But I shouldn't be surprised by his reaction, really. A man as strong-willed as him and with a long tortured past, he must have a closet filled with self-defense mechanisms, to maintain such a solid exterior. _But he never used it on me before! His emotions have always been raw_! You think you are special or something, Steele? How cute and naive of you?!

"What If I don't have one?" His voice is monotone and I fight hard to find mine. His words penetrate my soul like a poisoned dagger and I feel cheated and crushed and hundred different emotions I never thought I could feel again. I feel like I lost something I never even had.

"Then we have nothing further to discuss" I am surprised and proud by my business-like tone before I turn and leave his office.

**To be continued… **

**Shit! That was intense! Sorry for the drama, guys!**

**Wanna know a secret? I love the fights scenes more than the sexy scenes! Sorry, I am a sucker for drama and those two just get so fucking hot when they fight! **


	24. Chapter 24

**I am soooo sorry for the delay, guys! My sister is getting married this week and things are going super crazy in here, Whoa! So sorry!**

**The reactions and reviews of last chapter were way over my expectations! I hope i didn't just screw it up.**

**Here is goes...**

** CPOV: **

_"Then we have nothing further to discuss" _Anastasia mutters right before she slips out of my office running like a fucking bat out of hell. The last time she did that was right after we kissed for the first time and the next time I saw her she was completely closed off all over again. I can't let her walk away again just to rebuild the walls I might have managed to break through. Realizing that I should probably go after her, I finally convince my frozen limbs to move into steps. I am too late because once I step out of my office I see her break. She grabs the edge of her desk when her legs seem to fail her. I think I see her shoulders shaking but I am not sure. And I feel a foreign stab of guilt that I am the reason she may be crying. It is hard to think of someone as strong as her crying. But I guess I should know by now that this strong suit is just a façade. I move toward her but I am hesitating and I am not fast enough as some fucker races me to it and places his hand on her shoulder bending to whisper down to her.

"Get your fucking hands of her" I growl without thinking of it and my voice comes out like a wild animal, inhuman and terrifying. Parker's reaction is almost comical as he snatches his hand away and puts his hands up in surrender backing away quickly. His white flag does nothing for my rage. I step in his place throwing him another growl as I circle Ana with my arm without touching her. He eyes me oddly and I have no idea what has gotten into me and turned me into that creature set on protecting his mate at all costs. I am surprising myself as I go. Before I put my hands on Ana she jerks away from me and my muscles freeze in pain.

"Ana…" I whisper ignoring the way my hands are aching to touch her. Why won't she let me?!

"Just leave it, Christian" She gasps out but she still won't turn around to face me. I resist the urge to grab her shoulders and force her to look at me. "I said we have nothing more to talk about" She turns to face me finally and her voice is stronger now, her eyes hard and empty, her face is tainted with wiped tears. _I did make her cry. Damn you, Grey._ I am not oblivious to the odd questioning and slightly judging stares Parker is throwing my way. We need to get out of here.

"I disagree" I press my lips and grab her purse from her desk handling it to her. "We still need to talk. Come on, We are going out for lunch"

"Well thank you for informing me that I am going out with you" She laughs and it is a bitter laugh. I don't think I like that laugh. And I don't think I like the fact that it is because of me. She shakes her head. "Unbelievable" She turns her gaze on Parker. "Adam, please can you wait for me downstairs. I will be right after you" She explains calmly and I think I hear him mutter an 'Okay' or a 'Sure'. Something in that category. Is that how she operates? Ordering men around and they obey like puppets, I can see why they would drool after her but honestly I don't think Ana would be interested in such passivity. _But you are? You thrive on your partner's passivity and submission, for god's sake. You are the one to talk! _Boy, she would make a hell of a Domme! "I am not going anywhere with you" Her stern tone brings me back to the stiff Ana standing before me, not the one in my imagination wearing a leather get-up and cracking whips. _Whoa! _ I try to clear my fogged mind from the arousing thought of Ana as a Domme. I am surprised I am not put off by that after my awful history with one evil Domme. The shock almost blows me off but I push it aside for now and focus back on the now. Okay, so excuse me! She is choosing to go with Parker over me?!

"Oh, so you would rather spend your time with him?" I can't hide the jealousy in my voice and I am even more furious with myself when I see a hint of amusement in her blue teary eyes. "No fucking way, Anastasia. You are coming with me and that is the end of it" I say throwing her purse back on her desk after she refuses to take it from my hand. Stubborn woman!

"Oh, look" She points at something behind me. I don't bite. "It is already lunch time" She paints a fake smile that doesn't reach her eyes picking the purse up. "Meaning I don't have to take orders from you anymore" She turns around to leave and I want to throw something against a wall. Fuck that shit!

"You can run as you want, Anastasia. But even if you managed to escape me _and you won't. I promise you, you won't_ You can never escape yourself" I can't help shouting the words behind her and she almost stumbles in her tracks before she catches herself and walks again but faster. Shit, she is almost running to the elevator!

"Taylor" I yell once I see the elevator's door closes after her.

"Sir" He answers coming out of wherever he hides when unneeded.

"Get the car"

"Yes, Sir"

Just as I am walking past Ana's desk, my eyes fall on the pink roses on her desk and I am stopped dead. I called Mia last night when I found myself pulling hair out of my head wondering how to plan the right approach. Of course I didn't tell her anything. I just wondered what will be the best way for a guy to ease his way in and she replied 'Flowers always work' I remember how I thought it was ridiculous. Me sending Ana flowers? What, are we two high school fuckers going to prom? I decided that Mia's opinion was immature immediately but I didn't miss it when she said 'Ana hates pink roses' before she hanged up on me giggling. I have no idea how she got her hands on this information, though. Now I am cursing myself for not listening to Mia's stupid words! Did Ana really like this shit? And how clueless of a boyfriend that fucker can be to send her a bouquet of the flowers she hates. _Come on, Grey. If it wasn't for Mia, you would have been as clueless as this fucker is. _A sudden thought strikes me as I stare at the hateful bunch of roses. That is what Ana deserves. A guy who would buy her flowers and send her love notes. A guy who would truly love her. 'Always have, always will'. She deserves that kind of devotion. Maybe this guy could give her that and that is why she loves him.

_"Your heart. Will you give it to me? Completely?"_

I ignore the tightness in my chest and walk out of the elevator heading for the front door. Ana deserves a heart of gold and the one I have _If it still existed, which it must be. Given it is the offending organ aching in my rib cage at the moment_ The one I have is broken and scarred. Dark and hideous. Infected with long-lived diseases, uncured and rotten to the core. That isn't what she deserves but it is all I have. And it will be the most selfish act I have ever done in my miserable life if I snatched her away from her possible happily ever after to put her beside me in a path with an unknown end. The problem is, I am that selfish!

"Follow that blue Fiat" I order Taylor once I settle in the back of my car, watching as Ana gets in that fucker's ugly car. Where the fuck are they going anyway? _Lunch, Grey! _I can't help feeling protective of her after the state I helped getting her in. She is clearly in a vulnerable place right now. No matter how much she tries to confirm her 'love' for her 'boyfriend'. She wouldn't have negotiated the idea of something happening between the two of us if she didn't have an ounce of doubt. Fuck, she wouldn't have kissed me that way if she was as sure of her feelings as she claims to be. She is obviously as confused as I am but it is like she knows I am no good for her. And My Ana is no fool. She is one smart girl.

_"I am not some naïve twat and I won't let my libido make my decisions for me"_

Even though a part of me is offended and maybe, just maybe a little hurt that she doesn't drop to her knees and give in to me and that consuming heat between us. _Doesn't she see how fucking good we can be together? Fuck me, even the moments with the simplest touches or looks are more charged with sexual energy than any scene I have ever had in my playroom with well-trained submissives! Another part of me is awed of her strength and her self-control. A woman who doesn't let her basic needs control her, no matter how strong they may be, is surely admirable. And I know just how strong they are, I have felt them. I am no fool either.

"Why are we stopping?" I ask Taylor when I feel the car slowing down.

"They pulled out, Sir" He answers carefully obviously not missing my tense mood. I lower my glass-tainted window and spot them immediately. They enter what looks like a Chinese restaurant. _Lunch, they are having lunch as friendly but totally platonic co-workers. _It is ridiculous how I need to reassure myself of that considering that even if she isn't fucking that dude, she is sure fucking her boyfriend. I ignore the sickness in my stomach and the anger rising in every cell in my body. I am mad at her for making me feel like this. I am mad at myself for allowing such a weakness to creep its way into my subconscious. I am mad and I am helpless and I have to maintain better control of that situation or I may lose my mind.

I have to let the fact that she isn't mine sink in and settle. It feels like a foreign object, fought by my white blood cells and my immunity system. But I force it in. I knew I had two options here. One, I continue having these celebrity death matches with Anastasia until she either gives in or gets sick of me and leaves. Two, I start treat her like the employee she is. Rose just told me this morning that she wants to prolong the internship for another two weeks and I told her I agree. Mainly because I still think I need to start train Anastasia seriously._ She is not just any employee, a very important one. One I should start mentoring with sharp focus instead of trying to get into her pants! What the hell is happening to me? I can't afford to be so reckless. Since when do I let my downstairs head controls me? I am not Elliot! I am Christian fucking Grey. In control of my universe. _Think like that then!

I think it is safe to say I need Anastasia in my company, in my life and on my dick. The last one is the trickiest since she is being such a brat about it and decided to hold on to her boyfriend and her long-lived trust issues. So If I continue to play to get the three, there is a big chance I might lose it all. Which is something I can't afford. So even though my dick is kicking me in the balls for saying that, canceling out the third one raises my chances of getting the other two. I know if I cleared up the haze of sexual tension and confusing urges, I can make Ana prefect enough for the job. Hell, I can even get her to _ask _for a contract with GEH. But the thought of being nothing more than her boss makes my chest ache with loss. How could you feel the loss of something you never had?

So if I need her in my company and my life, I think I know my answer. You do, too. It is the only way I can get her to trust me. I just hope I don't screw it up.

**APOV:**

I exit the restaurant knowing both Emma and Adam are digging holes in my back. I will never get over the look of shock in Adam's face and of pure betrayal on Emma's. So now you know how it feels, right? I giggle but I am not feeling as smug as I am happy because I saw the way they both clicked once they saw each other. I think that ship is going places!

As I walked down the busy streets of Seattle my mind couldn't help drifting back to its favorite subject for the last two weeks. Christian Grey. It feels like he has taken residence in my brain, built a comfy home and settled in. it is the only explanation for the fact that whenever my mind isn't racing with other thoughts, it keeps spinning around and going back to him. And I know I have to make all of that stop. Because even if he wasn't my boss, even if I didn't have a boyfriend whom I love. I still can't afford to be with Christian Grey. He is on the very top of my 'Off limits and Dangerous' list of people. For years now I have built sets of walls, learning how to distant myself so that I never get involved too much. But the fact that I can't control my body around him speaks volumes. He is a like a good glass of bourbon. A required taste you grow to love very much but can only have it occasionally because having too much of it will not only give you a strong hangover _which is temporary_. No, it will give you alcohol poisoning or destroy your liver for good. Permanent damage. And I have enough of those, thank you very much.

After having a taste of what Christian makes me feel, it only proves how dangerous loving him could be. And I _am _holding back. Imagine what will happen if I am not holding back, if I dive in head first like he wants me to. I know I am capable of that kind of love but I am not sure I am capable of suffering through its consequences. I don't know if he will love me like I would him. Hell, I don't even know if I deserve that kind of love but I know if I am gonna love him, I am not gonna settle for less than that from him. Because giving yourself over to someone that way and not having them back in the exact same way means you will totally lose yourself, lose sight of who you are. And I can't afford that. Because once upon a time I let myself love and hope and believe in happy endings and it backfired. Badly. The scary part is, with all the heartache and the destruction I experienced in my first love, it doesn't hold a candle to how I could feel toward that dominant consuming man. Lost in my thought, I don't see it coming until I colloid with a hard chest. A familiar one. I look up and see nothing but the main subject of my thoughts. Man, I am such a sucker for those gray eyes!

"Christian" I gasp forcing my body to take a step back although all it wants is to nuzzle closer. Stupid body. "What are you…" I stumble. "Did you...Oh my god" Oh no he didn't! "Did you follow me here?" The guy is taking stalking to a whole new level. I wish I could hate it, though.

"Well…" In his defense, he does look a little embarrassed.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I shout because I am already mad at everything. Are we really shouting in the street? I think we are.

"Plenty, okay?" He shouts back and runs his hand through his hair looking like he is struggling with something, struggling with words to say. His word hits me like a kick in the guts because I know how it feels. I know what is it like to be more fucked up than the average norm. To wake up screaming in the middle of the night, gasping for air that never seems to fill your lungs enough, covered in sweat and shame, shame that you could be so weak and pathetic. I know what is it like to be yourself worst enemy. To fight an everyday losing battle with your own demons. I know what is it like to feel like you will never be okay but you have to 'fake it, till you make it'. I know what is it like to cover your weak spots with a hard exterior that cracks every now and then, to feel like sometimes you are barely holding it together. I know because on some level, _He is me. _And no matter how hard I try to deny it, I see my fucked up soul reflected on his gray eyes like a well-polished mirror. And maybe that is why I am so afraid. So afraid that being with him would force me to face it, in a final battle where I might lose myself for good.

"Christian…" I close my eyes and swallow.

"Just hear me out, alright?" He sighs and I nod my agreement carefully. "I am sorry" He says quietly and I am immediately taken back. Christian certainly isn't a guy who apologizes easily so this is a big moment for sure. I stay silent mainly because I am speechless. "I have been an asshole to you since day one"

"It is alright. I have been a bit of a bitch, too" I find myself saying as I tilt my head slightly.

"Just a bit?" A small smile curves his lips. I raise my eyebrows as to say you are not getting more than that and he seems to accept it. "I think the attraction we have between us is the reason why we never seem to agree on anything. Because we are both fighting it so hard" He explains calmly in a business-like tone that feels odd to me, odd to use when you are talking about something so personal. But he is right. Every time we try to talk, it either turns into an argument or a full make-out session. Except that one time after 'Elena' crashed on us. I remember how peaceful and nice this moment was. Also when I sprained my ankle in his office and he took care of me. Both moments where void of sexual tension _not completely void, though_ but full of care and understanding. It is sure something to think about. "So since we have established earlier that this is going nowhere" Again, distant tone. He is not meeting my eyes and I am trying to guess where he is going with that. "I think we should just let it go"

"Meaning?" I frown not really following.

"Look, Ana. I do believe that you can be invaluable to my company. And I want you to be a part of my team. We need to start acting like professionals here" now, why didn't I think of that? I open my mouth to protest that he is the one who start the whole unprofessional acting but he cuts me off. "I am not accusing you of anything" He raises his hands. "I am just saying that we should start thinking with some logic, without lust clouding our brains. You entered this internship for a reason, and I hired you for a reason. Neither of us is gonna get what they want if we keep this up" Is he breaking up with me or something? "But I have to say that even if I can give up my need to have you as mine" Even though his tone is completely void of emotions his eyes pierce into mine and I find myself shivering at the idea of being 'his'. Oh boy do I wanna be his! "I find myself incapable of casting you away from my life completely" Stupid stupid butterflies in my stomach. He has a way to put it into words to make it sound as cold as he can but I somehow get the meaning. "So, I guess that puts me in the position where I have to ask you to take me as a friend" He releases a huge breath when he finishes and then watches me carefully. I stare at him for a moment trying to process what he just said.

"You want to be my friend?" That is a plot twist indeed. I can't hide the shock in my voice.

"Well..I.." He looks down and smiles his 'shy' smile. The one I love so much. _Don't stare. _"If you will have me" He looks up at me and for a moment the dominant asshole of boss is just a cute lost puppy you want to cuddle and keep forever. _What? _"I mean I know next to nothing about being a friend so I don't promise to be a good one but you already know about me more than most people" I see something dark flushes in his eyes and for a second I am afraid he is gonna flip out and all these words will be a dream or a sick joke. "And I think that sometimes we have some sort of understanding if we are not jumping each other's bones, or on each other's throat" He chuckles and I chuckle along with him.

"We do" I agree and he looks up at me with shock on his face. "So you are saying all of that just so you can ask to be my friend?" I ask just to make sure I am not misunderstanding anything. but i can't help the huge grin on my face. I think my face is gonna break!

"Yes" he nods carefully.

"Okay" I shrug.

"What?" His eyes widen comically. I couldn't help but laugh cruelly.

"I said okay. I'd love that. So very much"

"You would?"

"Yes" I roll my eyes. "Now, I am starving. If you are a good stalker you would know that I didn't have any lunch so let's go grip a bite" I throw over my shoulder heading for the Audi I know Taylor is driving. He is not the only stalker here!

**PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!**

**I know you want Ana to break up with Jose and build a relationship with CG but these two have so much going on that they need to sort themselves out before they start working on their relationship, hence the friends deal. You can call it more like a truce but do you really think they can just turn off their heat? Of course NO! they are being delusional** **and they will know that later. Just let them have it ;)**


	25. Chapter 25

**I was told that my 'Author notes' are rude or/and unnecessary so I am just gonna get on with the story right away.**

**HELLS NO!**

**If someone thinks I should shut up, they should stop reading the marked font and go for the chapter. But don't tell me what I should or shouldn't say, you are not my mom!**

**Was that rude? Sorry then**

**I apologize to all the lovely people who doesn't deserve to read my bitching. You are wonderful people and thank you for reading my story.**

**But those who does nothing but hate on me and my story…well, you know where to go!**

**SORRY AGAIN!**

**And sorry for the slower pace. Classes and stuff, ugh!**

**CPOV:**

"You are staring" I mutter with my eyes fixed on the menu but I can feel her eyes on me since we entered the restaurant. I let her choose it. It is a nice one. Simple and cozy. Not my kind of place, though. She has been staring at me for minutes now like I just grew two extra head and started howling to the moon. It is getting quiet uncomfortable to be honest which is another first for me. Usually I am the one making people uneasy.

"I am sorry" I look up to find her shaking her head with a big smile on her face. She also hasn't stopped smiling. I don't know what has gotten into her but I hate how her smile makes me feel like smiling too. "I am just still taking it all in" She picks up the menu but doesn't stop looking at me. "The idea of you socializing outside of business world, I never thought I would see that" I never thought I gave the vibe of being that anti-social but I guess it is understandable.

"Well, I never thought I would do it" I admit looking through the menu again.

"Yeah. You did tell me that you don't have any friends" There is no humor in her voice when she says that and it makes me look up. Her gaze is unwavering, piercing, it is like she is studying me. "Why me?" She whispers finally. How do I answer to that? Because I am incapable of letting you go? Because for the first time in my life I am compromising, willing to have you anyway that I could get you? Because it is not the first 'first' for me since you whistled into my life like you own it? because everything I thought was foreign and impossible is now new and exciting? Because you managed to change my whole point of view without even trying? Because I feel more content arguing with you than being a Dom in my playroom? Because you have a big fat smile on your face and for once I want to be a source of happiness instead of being the pain inflector I have been for years?

"Don't ask questions you know the answer to. You know why"

"It can't be just because I know things about you"

"Well" I lean closer on the table resting my elbows on its surface mainly to buy myself some time. "You are not the worst company in the world" I say fighting a smile. It is the lowest sort of compliment she acquires but she seems to see the sincerity in it because she smiles, blushes and looks down. God, She is beautiful!

"I am flattered" She says trying to fight the blush back. Her smiles fall suddenly like she just remembered something and I immediately fear that it was all a bad joke that she agreed to befriend me and she will stand up and leave. Hell, what did I do wrong now?! "By the way, what I said to you about your past" She stares at the edge of the table and seems to be struggling with words to say. "In the gala. That was wrong" Her voice is full of remorse and it is almost unfair because how could you ever not forgive that voice. "I shouldn't have said it" She shakes her head almost like she is scolding herself. I stay silent. "You have to know how sorry I am" She finally looks up meeting my eyes and holy hell did she just apologize to me?

"It is okay. I don't really like to talk about it" I say dismissingly. The last thing I want to do is talk to Anastasia about _that. _

"I get that" She nods and I am a little startled that she gave up that easily. "And just for the record, whatever you know about me, I don't talk about it either. Not even with my closest friends" She states firmly.

"Yeah…about that…" I start , grinding my teeth. Here is the hoping she doesn't flip out.

"What?" She interrupts me and it makes me irritated. Just say it and be done with it!

"I shouldn't have told you that you freaked out over nothing but then again I did say I was being an asshole" I shrug. "Welch never found anything abnormal about you except some low records in high school. The first few months of your junior year, low grades, detention, expelled for three days. It doesn't match your norm but that is all" I explain waiting for her reaction. She is stiff as a status, it doesn't even look like she is breathing. Fuck, I need to know what really happened!

"Oh" She breathes finally but stays silent.

"But I am guessing from your reaction that day that there is more. Much more" I press.

"I did say that I don't wanna talk about it" She presses her lips in a thin line immediately closing the topic of. I don't like it. Not one bit. But I can be patient. Not for long, though.

"May I take your order, Sir?" A middle aged man asks AKA the waiter. We have been seating here for more than fifteen minutes without ordering food. That is how time consuming a conversation with Ms. Steele is.

"We will take the chicken salad" I answer after a quick look in the menu. "White wine, your finest. And that is it" He nods and turns to leave but he is stopped by the voice of Ms. Steele.

"One second please" She throws me a death glare before turning to face him. What did I do wrong now?! "He" She stresses the word. "will take that but I will take…" She picks the menu for two seconds. "Pizza with lots of olives and cheese. As much cheese as you can. In fact, if you could slip me some extra cheese when no one is looking that would be great" She gives him a sweet smile and fuck me is she batting her eyelashes at him?! "And just iced coke, please. Not diet. I never got the taste of those"

"Right away, sweet pie" The fucker has a big smile on his face when he leaves and I resist the urge to punch him in his stupid face!

"What the hell was that?" I hiss through clenched teeth. The thought of taking her across my knees and spanking the living shit out of her sounds pretty appealing to me right now!

"No, What the hell was _that?" _She shouts back meeting my glare with one of her own. "Why are choosing my food, Dude? I didn't say I need help"

"Dude?" What kind of word is that? "What is wrong with chicken salad?"

"Nothing" She rolls her eyes and it does its magical effect by irritating me. "I just want some pizza, is that a crime?"

"Against your well being, it is" I answer trying to remember that this isn't the reason I am mad at her now. "Chicken salad is much healthier" She rolls her eyes again and is she fucking asking for a spanking? "What the hell is up with 'slip me some extra cheese when no one is looking'? Do you want him or something?"

"Oh my god" She stares at me like she doesn't believe I just said that. It is like the way she looked at me when I asked her if she was a lesbian. Which is a completely different situation. "Stop that" she rubs her temple closing her eyes. "Are you even hearing yourself?"

"Are you hearing yourself?" Is she kidding?! "Why were you flirting with him? I thought you had a boyfriend" Yes, I did say the word 'boyfriend' like it is a disease.

"What does this have to do with that?"

"If you were mine. I wouldn't have let that happen" I say before thinking better of it. It is true, though. If I have anything to say in the matter, all that 'light' flirting should stop! She is too beautiful to flirt that openly. I don't want these fuckers think of her that way, Ever. It is bad enough that she dresses too sexy for her own good, or my own sanity. I see some unnamed emotion flushes through her eyes before she turns mad again.

"Let that happen?!Oh thank god I am not yours then" I would be lying through my fucking teeth if I said that didn't fucking hurt.

"So your prefect boyfriend would be okay with you flirting with other guys?" Stupid fucker!

"A, I was not flirting" She states slowly but firmly. "B, he is at the age of my dad"

"He has a dick, doesn't he?" seriously ladies, most men don't care how fucking young you are. We are that much of perverts.

"Well, I am not sure. Why don't you ask him" I see something flip out in her face. I now recognize as her composure switch. "Maybe he will let you suck it for him!" Fucking hell, she didn't just..

"Why wouldn't he if he has already let you" I snap back without thinking. She opens her mouth and looks like she is gonna curse me or call me an asshole but then she closes it and smiles. It is not a nice smile. Or a happy smile. Or her are-you-being-stupid-or-what smile. It is a new one. oh, wait no. I saw that one before, I just don't remember when. She stands up and I am frozen watching her leave the table. That is it? So we couldn't be friendly for more than half an hour? That is a progress! Just when I am about to stand and make my leave as well, I feel something wet and heavy on my head. Then fingers in my hair. Wait, I know these fingers! My eyes widen twice its size when I see Anastasia placing a bottle of ketchup on the table before taking her place back on the seat across from me. What the fuck…? I am in shock when I reach with my hand to touch my hair. Yup, She just poured fucking ketchup on my head in the middle of a restaurant.

"That is disgusting" I say studying my hand that came back from my hair soaked in ketchup. I still can't believe what just happened.

"Not really" I finally tear my eyes from my hand and find Ana licking her ketchup soaked fingers. "I know formal exploring that you don't put any hair products so it is just ketchup I am eating now" She says causally.

"I can't believe you just did that!"

"I think you should really go to the bathroom" She suggests innocently. "Maybe there you can eat your two meals of chicken salad in peace" She finally let herself giggle.

Fucking hell! I think this friendship would be the end of me!

**APOV:**

"That is exactly why we shouldn't be together" I explain to a fuming Christian once he comes out of men's room. "If I was your girlfriend I would have been highly insulted but being friends means I could just dumb some ketchup on your head and everything would be alright" It was fucking hilarious actually, at first. Then I felt kinda of guilty, then a little scared when casted me that death glare, then a little turned on when he came out with wet hair looking unfairly hot. I am on a roll coaster of emotions when I am around this man. And I wish I could say I hate it.

"If you are mine you wouldn't have been able to sit for a week if you ever dared to pull such a stunt" I am gonna say it, just to take it out and be over with, whenever he says 'mine' referring to me, every muscle in my lower region clenches in anticipation. Here I said it, let's forget I even said that, okay? And what the hell does he mean by not being able to sit for a week? I try to think of an explanation but come empty handed. My mind keeps going back to one word. Mine. "I still smell like ketchup" He screws his nose up after sniffing his hand. The humor in the situation pulls me out of my obsession trance.

"It is one of my favorite smells" I say giving him a true smile trying to make up for the guilt I feel. "Cheer up, buddy. Welcome to the miserable life of being my friend" I announce with a big ass grin on my fucking face. I haven't been able to stop smiling since he 'asked' to be my friend. I don't know why I am so happy. I think on some level I was bummed that he doesn't have friends. I know what is like to prefer being on your own. Also on some level I am awfully thrilled that I will finally be able to spend some guilt-free time with him. I didn't know how much I wanted just that until right now. Christian doesn't look amused but I can see the humor in his eyes. He is not as much of a stick-up-the-ass prick as he leads people to believe. I have thought that even since he used sarcasm on me when I couldn't find my phone in his office. I thought he can be fun if he would just come out of his comfort zone. I just didn't think back then that it would be my goal, job and purpose. Oh, the pizza comes in! Feeling hungry as hell, I pick up a slice even before he places the pizza on the table. I finish the slice in two bites. Christian is staring at me, this time clearly amused.

"You look floored" I smirk picking up another slice. "Never seen a girl eat a pizza before?" I take a smaller bite this time, feeling the hunger fading away.

"Not like this" He mutters with a snarky smile on his face as he digs his fork into his chicken salad. Is he making fun of me?

"Oh, spare me" I roll my eyes even though he isn't looking at me. "I didn't have any breakfast"

"You know you can't just skip a meal" He glares at me making me feel scolded. I am so sorry I was so busy thinking how I am gonna face you that I couldn't eat!

"It is not my habit. No worries" I assure simply trying to shrug it off. It would be a cold day in hell before I let him make me feel like a disobedient child. I take a big bite of my pizza. So damn good!

"I never pegged you for that kind of girl" I didn't first get what he means but he mentions to my food. Oh, that?

"Well let me get this straight then" I say straightening my shoulders. "My name is Ana Steele. You would think I eat salad for three meals and drink expensive wine but I actually happen to enjoy eating cold pizza and drinking good beer" I am caught up in the light beautiful silliness of this moment. I know I am saying nonsense.

"And you say dude" He adds his eyes dancing with mirth.

"Occasionally" I nod my confirmation and then something suddenly crosses my mind. There are a million of things I would like to ask him while we are bathing in this state of easiness but I weirdly choose this one. "You thought I was a lesbian?" He looks taken back for a moment before he composes himself quickly.

"I had a good reason for that" He raises his eyebrows which makes him look even more attractive with his wet hair falling on them. Damn you!

"What would that be?" I ask mainly curious. He leans in closer, his lips curling on the sides fighting a smile.

"Remember the night before I asked you that, the night you met Elliot, in Glee?" I nod carefully. Did Elliot tell him about my little show with Emma? Oh god! "I was there with him" _Shut the front door_!

"Oh my god" This isn't happening. "You saw…oh god" I feel the blood rushing to my face and neck. I bet I am blushing up to my hairline now. "Please let this not be true" I close my eyes and cover my face in embarrassment.

"Don't cover your blush" He orders reaching across the table to pry my hands of my inflamed face. "It is a beautiful sight" He mutters seriously causing me to blush even harder. I was a shit lair when I said Christian's compliments don't affect me.

"Why did you have to be there?" I whine trying to distract myself from his eyes and his hands holding mine. Thankfully he lets go of them. Keep your strong hands to yourself, would you?!

"Well, I kinda of own the club so…" He shrugs with humor back on his face. I think I like this Christian.

"You own Glee. That is so cool" I grin in surprise. "Let's talk about that and not about how I almost made out with my female friend" I say quickly with my finger crossed. Please drop it!

"I am interested, though" Of course you are! He crosses his arms over the table and does that 'leaning in' move that shouldn't be that goddamn sexy but it is. "Are you attracted to her or did you just have so much to drink?" One look at his face and I know he is an asshole because he doesn't really want to know. He is just messing with me.

_I think I really like that Christian._

"You are the worst" _Best. _I shake my head on him. "Fine. I will tell you what happened but then we will drop it" I warn pointing my index finger at his face. "Forever" I add. His grinning nod encourages me to go ahead and tell him what happened that night. How Elliot tried to hit on Emma, asked her to dance with him and how Kate crashed on them and embarrassed Emma. How she turned out to be her wedding planner and how Emma was worried she will lose the job because of what happened. He keeps on hearing me out without interruption. It is odd but kinda of nice to have his attention this way. He knows how to focus on the person talking to him. I don't know if he makes everyone he talks to feel like this. I guess he must be, maybe that is one of his secrets why he is this successful in business world. It suddenly hits me that I will not only be enjoying his thrilling company in this friendship deal but I will also get to learn more from him. It wasn't my intention but it is a welcomed bonus.

Just as I am wrapping up the end of the story which he has already watched first hand, my phone rings announcing an upcoming text. Jose. Oh god, I totally forget to call him after the flower he sent!

***Did you get the flowers?***

I type back in a hurry from under the table feeling Christian's eyes burning holes in my bent head.

***Yes, they are very beautiful. Thank you***

_Liar!_

***Can I come over tonight?***

My fingers hover over the screen in hesitation. I am suddenly hyperaware of Christian's presence.

***Yes, sure***

I type quickly throwing the cell back in my purse.

"It is Jose" I mutter as if it is a second thought. I know he must know his name because he is that much of a stalker. Finally I gather the needed courage to meet his intense gaze. His eyes ask me a million questions that I know the answer to none of them.

"What?" I snap feeling a little cornered.

"I didn't say anything" He tilts his head to the side. Fucker!

_"What happened yesterday?" _His earlier question rings in my ears, demanding, prying, penetrating.

"He didn't do anything wrong, okay?" Why do I feel the need to defend Jose? "It is all my fault so stop killing him in your mind" I know he is.

"I don't know much about relationships, Anastasia. But I know that people are supposed to be happy in them" I want his words to be hurting, to be evil. But they aren't. They are full of worry and concern. He isn't trying to drive me away from Jose. He really does want me to be happy. I try to ignore how much this fact warms my heart. I try to ignore how easily I see and accept his good intentions when I do just the opposite when it comes to anyone else.

"You can't be happy all the time. In real life there have to be rough patches too" I explain while finishing my last slice of pizza.

"I get that" He nods. "But I still think something is off" He adds while he chew his food. Why is the sight of Christian eating that erotic? I shake my head to rid it off the distracting thought.

"Look.." I press my lips searching for words to say. "I am not so…I don't open up easily" Why am I telling him that?! "You see before Jose, I have been in love" Stop, stop talking! "It was different back then. I was young. I went all in, didn't hold back. And…" I bite my lower lip fighting back the emotions threatening to resurface. _There is a reason why we don't talk about this! _"It didn't end well" I shake my head all the while refusing to meet his eyes. Because I know his presence is the reason for these words to come out and I know whatever I may see in his eyes now will be too much. "In fact it ended with the most traumatizing events of my life" I let out a bitter laugh. "I blame these moments for being this much of a fucked-up. It was all because I went all in. I just can't afford to do that again" I couldn't resist it anymore. I raise my head and meet his gray eyes. And it is just like I feared it would be. He is like a sea in the storm. Taking it all in, swallowing it in his mess. I have never felt more understood, even if he doesn't say a word.

"You know John would say that you cannot stop using cars because you had one accident" He finally says in his fakest British accent. I couldn't help but laugh. He just smiles and nods.

"No, it doesn't mean you should stop using cars" I answer. "It means you use it extra careful, never cross the speed limit again" I whisper.

"Good point, well made, Ms. Steele" a small smile curves his lips and tells me he gets my meaning.

"What is with that? Sometimes I am Ana, sometimes it is Anastasia and now also Ms. Steele" I wonder playfully taking a sip of my coke.

"And sometimes I am Christian, or Grey, or Mr. Grey"

"Good point, well made, Mr. Grey" I repeat his earlier words. He smiles in amusement and picks up his wine glass. I watch memorized as his throat works swallowing the wine. It is unfair how every move he makes screams sex and seduction. _Bad bad, Steele. _I look down in embarrassment of my own thoughts. If we are going to be friends, I need to stop think of him that way or this isn't going to end well! A comfortable moment of silence passes before I break it. "Your turn" I say quietly meeting his eyes in a challenge. He looks like he doesn't get what I am talking about. "I just told you something I never talk about to anyone. I exposed a part. It is your turn to do the same" I explain. He looks like he is debating my words. It is like a modified kind of strip poker, except it is not clothes we are removing.

"Alright, what do you want to know?" He asks carefully with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Whatever you are willing to tell" I give him a small smile. "Tell me something this isn't on paper" I suggest. He is quiet for a moment and I wait. An inner battle seems to be going on behind his impassive face before he finally makes his decision. He leans back regarding me with a careful gaze.

"You ever heard of something called BDSM?"

**OH MY!**

**Cliffhangers, they are bitches!**

**What did you guys think of the ketchup stunt? Too childish or just funny?**


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